Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm Married

Yeeeaaaahhhh uh. Just so ya know. I've told a few of you that I trust from my other blog but for the last ALMOST 2 years I've been pretending like C. and I are engaged.

Cuz I couldn't tell my parents.

Or, at least I didn't THINK I could tell them.

When C. got into his first go-round with La Migra we had been together for 1 month and 3 weeks. I was already crazy about him and he was already in LOOOOVVVVEEEE with me so at 1 month 3 weeks and 3 days I told him that I'd marry him if it meant keeping him in the country. It was my offer, he never would have asked.

I told my boss, my bff Jaybird and my other friend and co-worker Frankie. I would have gone it without telling anybody - I KNEW how insane it sounded and I'm usually a pretty bright person that doesn't go flying off the deep end you know? - but I needed witnesses. I told those that KNEW (which ended up being my entire office because my boss has a big mouth) that it was OKAY because if it turned out we weren't perfect for each other I'd just divorce his ass quietly and it'd be FINE.

One side of my family was in such an uproar that they were hounding me to LEAVE HIS ASS so I couldn't bring myself to tell them, I was just too sure at the time that they would disown me and I loved them too much to risk that. My other family were ok with C. but damn, uhhhhhh getting married after 2 months? I didn't want them to think I had lost it, I didn't want them to be worried about me.

So. On November 30th 2006 I went to work, did my job and my boss and I and Frankie left a couple of hours early (with the flowers she bought me at the grocery store (I will always be grateful for those flowers) ) and headed off to the court house.

It was hard but not as hard as I thought. I had always ALWAYS imagined both of my Dads walking me down the isle in a church and my mom in the front row crying and.... well you know. But I was so very much in love with mi corazon.

Chino and I found a quiet corner where we went to pray for ourselves and our marriage and a short time later a kindly judge came to get us.

:) Oh God my baby was SO nervous he had a hard time repeating the vows, the judge had to repeat a few times for him because his english super-skillz went strait out the window. Bless his heart he was just a shaking :) The judge read us the traditional vows that I had always wanted and for that I was very thankful, I wanted to say to have and to hold for better or worse and I got to. And we have.

It's been almost two years and we've been through SO MUCH, so much separation (against our will of course) and worrying every day of our marriage for one reason to the next and stress from my family and everything else that comes to newlywed po-folk. :)

But I'll be damned if we didn't know what we were doing WAS right. Our love has GROWN over the last two years no matter what has been thrown at us. Every once in a while he'll say or do something so small but it's like the last drop in the bucket and my heart overflows and I get this FEELING inside, overwhelming, and I have to tell him "Oh ! I love you MORE again!" :) It grows, this kind of love grows, not getting stale or week after 2 or 3 months like you hear people do in beginning relationships.

As time goes on and we get more and more comfortable with each other he's become not less but MORE romantic with me. He's less afraid to show his crazy love for me in his silly ways now because he knows that I might giggle :P but I'd never laugh at him. So when he wants to bust out on the phone in a spontaneous off-key love song in spanish - because he JUST CAN'T hold it in - he feels free and I love him all the more. He showers me with praises and for once in my life I believe them. I believe that I am his tesoro and cielo and vida and corazon and luz and sol and amiga and amante. (treasure, sky, life, heart, light, sun, friend and lover) I beleive it when he tells me I'm beautiful and perfect for him in every way even when I'm "Peeesy."


So, why tell you all now? Aw shit. Well, when we were married we requested not to have it published in the papers (obviously) but I guess - or I know because my Father Chuckles told me last night - that sometimes parents just KNOW things or can sense that they are going to happen.

And you only have to pay 10$ for anybody's public records.

And my step-mom is kinda internet savey.

Yep.


Last night after my biopsy I felt like being with my Father Chuckles and I asked him about something a little fishy he said the other day. I won't go into all of it but he and I beat around the bush and ran in circles around one another last night for a long time and now I know that he knows.

He never came out and asked me or said it and neither did I, I was planning on taking this to my grave so it's a little hard to SAY to him - and you guys know how I am about SAYING things to him anyways - :P but we both made enough sideways references - and finally a lot of jokes :) that the truth is finally out in the open. I feel like some kind of bastard that he's KNOWN for two years that I'm a lying sack of shit but I'm also comforted because he also KNEW - through is parent intuition I guess, WHY I did it.

He doesn't hate me he never disowned me and he can even laugh about it. I feel bad that it hurt him that I didn't think I could tell him, but he understands that a little bit too. I am so grateful for this man and all he's put up with in me. I love him so very much.

I wonder now if I should just tell my other parents. They don't read my site because they're not on the internet yet, but it just seems so wrong now. Ah well, that's for another day. As for today . . wow. Just wow.

20 comments:

Kristi said...

Congrats! I bet it is a relief to have it out in the open now!!
So I take it that being married didn't matter to INS or he wouldn't have been deported??

Lindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindy said...

Thank You :) And no, not one bit, it's a different country than 10 years ago but I don't regret it a bit.

~ellen~ said...

Aww, so sweet! That made me a lil weepy. :)

Whenever things are settled and everyone knows, you can go ahead and have a reception! Don't think that there is a time limit or an expiration date -- a marriage should be celebrated, and you can do it any time and any way you want.

Have a big giant ceremony on your anniversary one year, and create the wedding ceremony you didn't have! :)

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

You little HOR! Oh, wait, can I say that here?! I have been meaning to comment for quite some time - I have been reading and keeping up with all that has been going on, and am so glad that you and C. are going to be together (even if it does mean moving to Mexico!) Hubby and I did something very similar to what you and C. did - and I too don't regret it! Out of necessity, we were married at the county courthouse on April Fool's Day, but told nobody, including our families - they all think we were married later that year at a ceremony they all attended. To this day I don't regret that decision, and I love that it is a secret between me and him - I remember more about that day and about the vows that we shared than I do about the day everyone else thinks we got married. I suppose that a time will come when we will have to come clean - mostly because I would hate for something to happen to either one of us and for our families to have to learn the truth through dealing with paperwork and such. Maybe someday you and C. can have a real 'wedding' that you can share with your families - they get the wedding part, you get the gift part, and it will be like renewing your vows.

(P.S. It's Driving With the Brakes On - I needed a fresh start!)

jill said...

I LOVE knowing you guys are married! And I LOVE that you just dove right in. Nice new blog. Prayers and good thoughts heading your way.

Lindy said...

Ellen - :) YES ! And acutually it was part of our agreement that he would have to someday when we're settled down a bit to properly propose and marry me again - all the romance and girlie stuff I always wanted. So yes dag gummit there WILL be a party ! :)


F & F - (Hi !!! Glad to see you're around !!) Oh my gosh ! YOU and your hubby too? :P Ah ! :) You know, we had planned the same thing, to get married a year later (here at home in Mi) and had already told my parents. :P Hell he even asked my dad for his blessing. BUT! Things get changed, but yes :) we will have our day. Thank You for sharing :) !!

Jill - you are so sweet, thank you thank you thank you :)

Krissie said...

OMG!! You're MARRIED???!

Oh wait. I knew that. Old news. Pfft.

xoxox

Lindy said...

Krissie - :P Yeah YEAH you know you KNOW. :P

Ima Wurdibitsch said...

Belated congratulations, Lindy! I'm glad you could tell Chuckles and I'm so very happy for you and C.

Lindy said...

Thank You Ima :) Very much :)

Sassy Blondie said...

So you finally outed yourself??! Tell everyone...you're grown! :) XOXO I feel honored to have been on the shortlist of those you told earlier. :)

Lindy said...

Sassy - You and Krissie :) My gals :)

I don't FEEL grown, do you ever FEEL grown around your parents?

Sparx said...

Hey! That gave me little goosebumps - so very very sweet and cool. I guess some very belated congratulations are in order now - well done you. Now you have NO excuse not to get knocked up as all hell.

Lindy said...

Sparx - "knocked up as hell" AHHHHHHH!!! You make me laugh so MUCH ! And yeah, :P one of these days we'll get us a couple of half breeds - partly thanx to you and your blog - and you KNOW it, you, you, you baby-mind-changer-blogger-YOU. :P

Upstate Broad said...

Girl, you and are are so similar in the most peculiar ways. Yeah, the Big Guy and I got married on the cheap because we just really, really wanted to be married. Two years later when we could afford the ceremony we wanted, we had it. Even then it was relatively small (70 peeps), but most of them don't know to this day that it was actually our 2nd anniversary they were celebrating. We waited till the week before the 2nd ceremony to tell our families, and my brother-in-law's response was to turn to their father and yell "See? I TOLD you so!" Don't be suprised if the parental units already have some suspicions of their own.
Congratulations and best of luck from the high side of 23 years and counting!

Lindy said...

Upsate - For real ! We've got so many little (or big) things in common - I hope a long and happy marrige will end up being another one :) So your family didn't freak out? (lol that's so funny about your BIL !) How did your mom and dad take it? That's what concerns me the most.

23 years :) MMmmmmmmm LOVE IT! Congrats and 23 more to you :)

Upstate Broad said...

My Mom was cool. My Dad wasn't thrilled, but he didn't want me to marry the Big Guy anyway (the whole black-white thing - did I mention Dad's an asshole?). The hardest one was the aforementioned B-I-L. He was a bit pissed that we hadn't made him a part of the first ceremony. He and the BG were VERY close, and he didn't like the fact that we would keep that kind of secret from him. If your folks are okay with C. in general, I think they'll be okay with it when you let them in on the situation.

Upstate Broad said...

One more thing: I knew within 2 weeks of our first date that I was going to marry the Big Guy, so I totally get how fast you committed to C.

Jane said...

Very similiar to my situation - to the horror of my family, we eloped almost 20 yrs ago after being together for 8 months - and Immigration was the push behind us. I love your blog - just came across it, and my god, I have had some laughs here getting all caught up - you are so hilarious and brutally honest! I look forward to reading more! Oh, and you crack me up with the way that you type out the accent of your husband - my husband's spanish accent used to be like that when we first met! Hilarious!