Friday, August 21, 2009

Of Conception and Pastry

I remember exactly when and how we concieved. And the conception? Um... :P well it was good but let's just say it wasn't in the most ... romantic of...ways.

Is this something many people who have kids remember? It's our first kid, I was thinking it would be special and romantic and you know... missionary. Ah well, passion is good right? :P I'm afraid though when she's around my age now I'll end up telling her. Ok so I have a big mouth and I KNOW I'll tell her and that's no good. I wouldn't want MY mom to tell me. I'm ok thinking the stork came or they stole me from a hospital - anything but the truth. Screw being adult, I don't care.

I told Chino I was knocked up about 2 weeks later (I knew we screwed up, *cough* er...created a blessing, the day after.) I was thinking about all these cool ways to do it, since it's sort of his life's ambition to reproduce and I wanted it to be special, but I couldn't wait.

I came out of the bathroom and found him at the kitchen table standing there with a coke in one hand and pastry in the other. He took a bite and I just blurted it out. He threw the pastry on the table, sputterd out his bite onto the floor and and hugged me. "Jour going to be a maahhhmeee!" He turned misty eyed and I got all fidgety and didn't know what the hell to do with myself but stand there like a knocked up dummy.

I had bought a shitty ass prego test here in mexico - that cost me about $20.00 U.S. and it's results were so lame I almost didn't find out I was pregnant. $20.00 is a LOT here and it was still the cheapest test they had. These people have a lot of damn babies, it seems like they'd fight for cheaper tests you know?

Anyways I peed on the stick and just the one line popped up right away. One line means the test worked right but no baby and I looked at it and thought "Oh thank God thank GOD!" But I kind of lingered and hung out for a bit, I couldn't figure out why but I was a little dissapointed. I went into the kitchen for something, sat on the couch - still acting wierd and dissapointed - and decided to go back and check the test again like 10 minutes later.

And, lo and behold, there was the faintest damn second line. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit" about sums it up and I took a flying trip back to the pharmacia and bought the better test, the $28.00 test (bastards.) It came up right away and there we have it. Back to almost choking my husband with pastry.

One little canine romp, and here we are.


Amanda said...

This is to funny, I love how you wrote what you husband said with his accent. Can you believe my husband doesn't have the cute little accent. Well we don't remember the position but with my first which ever it was I was on back feet in the air right after because we were trying to get pregnant. lol And with the second it was one of my first nights after moving to Mexico so who knows its more like which time. We were so happy to be living together again. Hey Im glad you found the world of blogs.

Blogget Jones said...

That's hilarious! I love it! And I love these kinds of stories.

See, my daughter wasn't supposed to be possible. Son is adopted. But I missed a period. I knew the doctor's office would ask if I had taken a test. So, I went to Wal-Mart and bought a test...and tampons and pads. The cashier looked at me funny, and I said, "Don't ask."

I didn't need the tampons and pads for a loooong time!

Keep me updated on how it's going! I'm excited for you!

;o) BJ

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Amanda - Thank You! AHH you are funny too! What a memory about trying to conceive, that is so cute :) And how wonderful to conceive when you were first back together, that's special :)

Blogget - That's so cool about your daughter - and funny about the cashier. I actually still buy pads once in a while if they're on super-duper-sale, everyone says you need a LOT of them after giving birth so I figure what the hell, might as well get 'em cheap :P

Vadose said...


Leslie Limon said...

2 of my kids were conceived in Mexico. After making 6 babies (we lost the first 2), I can't recall the positions! That's pretty funny and cute that you can!

It's much cheaper to go to the local clinic or laboratorio to get a blood test than to buy a pregnancy test at the farmacia!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Vadose - Hi :)

L.L. I never would have thought of that! :P Congrats on your 4 children, and I'm sorry about the others. I lost one when I first came here and it was devastating, I can't imagine 2. But we'll thank god for the ones we have. Thanks for the visit :)

jenny said...

Oh I remember mine!! We got back from a wedding and my dress was driving husband crazy! Showed cleavage and everything! We got home, took a quick pix of the two of us in a suit and dress (we NEVER dress up!) and then the clothes came OFF! We did *ahem!* several positions-- missionary, doggy, on top... and it was a VERY good night. I quit smoking then, but if there was ever a time for a cigarette, that would have been the moment!

I asked my mom when I was conceived, and I was my dad's christmas eve gift to my mother!! yup-- I rode in on christmas sperm! LOL

Crystal said...

I really like your blog! I was looking at Recipes by leslie and somehow found it. AWWWW.. you are going to be a mom. I am moving to Mexico soon, well in February. I am a little nervous. You know it is good you live close enough to the US to work. I am going to miss working. I am used to working, I like to work actually. I have a blog- la vida de cristal and also my email is

Krissie said...



(If I keep repeating her name, it should make it more real.)

DO YOU ANT TO RUIN DOGGY-STYLE FOR DAISY GRACE? Wait. Did that make you uncomfortable just now, thinking about your daughter having sex? THAT IS HOW SHE'LL FEEL!!

Aaand done.

Upstate Broad said...

I find it very interesting and more than a little funny that for someone who swears she didn't want kids, and who's immediate reaction to pregnancy was "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit", you're already referring to her as "our FIRST kid."

I'm not not quite LOL. How does one snicker on line? Teeheeheehee....

jill said...

I just checked your blog and you're BACK! Yay! I got caught up and laughed a lot and you still sound the same. I LOVE the name Daisy Grace (I would have named my boy either Daisy or Grace had he been a girl. Funny.). Great of your mom to send in the world do we get by without our computers?! Glad you're back.

Refried Dreamer said...

BWAHAHAHA!!! I love it!!! haha.. telling my baby's daddy was similar... except we were fighting at the time and I couldn't hold it in. He didn't know what to do. I do remember the position though... :)

How exciting for you both!!!

Well, welcome aboard blogger.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Gawd Jenny you are HILARIOUS!!! EEEEE!!!! Christmas Sperm!! LMAO!!HHHHAAAAAAAAA :P And isn't it COOL that yours was concieved on such a good night? How nice :)

Crystal - Thank You, and I can't wait to check you out! I don't blame you for missing work but don't worry TOO much - here in Mexico you can always have a little store in or infront of your house. (SOOOO many people have them!) You can sell clothes, shoes, popsicles, food - you name it! Or if you speak enough spanish you could always teach english classes :) Good luck, be seeing you soon!

Krissie - I know right? eEEEWW That would ruin doggy style for her wouldn't it? Didn't think of it that way. Nah it doesn't freak me out as much as it should, I just don't want her doing it at like, 12. Poor kid.

Upstate - Right? RIGHT? SHIT AND DAMN! It's that damn husband of mine he's a brainwasher and I didn't even realize it. I should be calling her my "first and last" but I'm not am I? God save me.

Jill - HI !!!!!!!! I am still somehow the same huh? I guess that's cool, Mexico can't take the spunk and swearing out of me. :P I don't KNOW how I got along without all of you and my computer! I lost a lot of sleep that's for sure, there's just something about writing it all down that helps me sleep. Too cool. Thank You for stopping IN !!! :) !!!! OH!! And thank you for liking her name :)

Refried - Ha! What a way to end a fight! :) Thank You btw and thank you again ! :)

On Mexican Time said...

Hahaha - When I saw the header I wasn't quite sure what I'd be reading! It lived up to my hopes! LOL!! I too love the way you threw his accent in!

No kiddies for us, but will keep this post in mind when we start "trying"!

Welcome aboard the blogosphere... That really sounds wierd, but seems to be what everyone said to me!

On Mexican Time said...

Oh and congrats on the baby!! Hehe forgot about that part!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

On Mexican Time - :) Why thank you :) It's funny, when he reads over my shoulder he never says anything about the written in accent. I have to wonder if he just thinks I can't spell :P Good luck when you decide to "try!" :)

Sgt said...

Congratulations (on all the things I've missed)!!!!

For the records, I don't think it was the position which caused the conception, more the lack of obstruction.... but then I think you've probably had that conversation before.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sgt - ahahahaha :P I'm guessing I might have known better. :P You are hilarious as ever btw. :)