I'm back. And I have so much to say, so much bottled up after months of silence that I've been staring at my new laptop for 2 days not knowing how to start. I set it up yesterday, put up wallpaper, played solitaire and turned it off again feeling like the biggest Christmas morning EVER has finally come, and all of a sudden I don't want to play with any of my toys. I took a nap.
I've wrote blogs in my head, tons of them. At work when I'm alone or at home doing dishes and lord only knows the countless words and paragraphs anecdotes that spill out of my head while I'm trying to go to sleep.
Ok ANYWAYS. Chino and I were robbed, again. This time not in the Mi Ghetto but in a decent neighborhood in Mexico. They didn't take anything we couldn't live without but things like X-box, mp3 players, nice jewelry and a laptop no longer existed in our house. It was the week that we FINALY found a company that offered internet service in our area and all of a sudden there was no more computer.
Back home we would have been pissed, bummed out and then just went shopping. But here, things are different for us and things aren't so easily replaced anymore. We have these crappy things called priorities that come first now - food, electric, gas, rent and fixing the endless string of crap that seems to be happening to my car - so I can get to work to PAY for it. Ok it's not like I've never had bills before and it's not like my spending was unlimited before, but I guess we're like so many other americans right now that are learning to be ok with cutting back.
Gawd enough Boo-Hoo right! Gag ! Let's talk happy things and funny things and say naughty things and laugh and swear!!! That might come across as sarcasm to some who don't know me but I'm being serious :P
One happy thing I don't even know how to deal with is that my Mom sent me the money for this laptop. Before I left for Mexico my parents bit not the bullet, but for them, the atomic bomb and bought their first computer. They've been swearing off computers for as long as they've been home accessible and probably never would have got one had I not moved away. HA !! But the allure of the Web-Cam and talking to each other for free and SEEING each other was strong, and I felt so special and loved and so proud of my parents when they told me before I was going to leave that they wanted to get a laptop. I was flabbergasted by the surprise but really damn excited too. :)
So anyways, when it came around that all of a sudden I had NO computer access (for months and months) my parents had absolutely no use for their computer. Off to the safe it went and in the safe it stayed.
My mom asked me a few weeks ago when I would be able to get a new one, and I had to tell her not very soon. That hurt. I felt bad that they went through all the trouble that they did and then all of a sudden it was all for nothing, and I couldn't do anything to make it better. It would have taken me probably another year to get a decent laptop, and I didn't want to admit that to my mom, I don't want her to worry about us or feel bad.
So here we are a few weeks later and my mom sends me a care package - she is so sweet - and tucked in the box is a plain envelope with small exerpt in her letter explaining that oh-by-the-way I've sent you a rediculous amount of money to buy a pc. I about shit my pants.
I don't think I've been a spoiled daughter, or well, maybe I have been, but I know I don't ACT like a spoiled child. I'm not a brat and I don't expect things and when my parents do something so crazy nice - like send us a water heater - or send us Christmas-in-a-box, I get all squirmy and I don't know how to say thank-you enough. I REALLY don't know how to say thank-you enough, or to let them know how much I apreciate them and the terribly nice things they have done or how special I feel and a bunch of other things that I just don't KNOW the words for - the things that make me squirm - and so I squirm and end up tounge tied and feeling half retarded. And then I worry that they'll think I'm not grateful enough and then kick myself because I don't think my parents would ever really think that I'm ungratefull, but what if????
I am a spaz.
So now, I guess what I can do to show my apreciation is to bother them as much as possible to turn on their computer and come see me on the internet. :)
God it feels good to write again. I have a dam ready to break and finally a way to get it out.