Last week at the border I was had an interesting experience with a border gaurd. Interesting and. . . different.
I cross Mon - Fri in the early morning hours to get to my job and crossing the border is just a part of the daily routine. The border gaurds that have to question me range daily from asshole to respectful, wierd to normal enough. Last week I got my first. .. well I'm not sure what he was, maybe a freak or maybe just a dork, freaky dork perhaps.
I drove up to his booth and handed over my passport and he took it without saying anything, scanned it and looked at his computer screen. All-was-well this is what they do. But then he turned to me in my car and looked strangely at my passport. He looked really close at it (I thought what did I get chocolate on it? shit!) and then brought it up to his nose. And sniffed. Repeatedly, and he looked all serious about it.
Border gaurds are really into thier jobs and I was thinking "Damn is this dude smelling for drugs? Is there some baby powder or something that looks suspicous on there? CAN humans smell for drugs? I don't have anything illegal but this is scary just what in the HELL?"
At this point he had still not spoke to me and what could I do? I just stared at him while he turned it over and flipped through the pages. Finally he spoke.
"Heel-huck! This smells goood!"
"UHhoool your passport I mean, it smells nice!"
He was grinning and kind of chuckling and really damn happy and I wasn't sure if he was embarrased or not AND I was so shocked I was still speechless.
"I mean, it's got your per-fume on it, it smells nice."
Finaly I spoke -
"Dude you were smelling my passport!"
Eloquent I know. I would normaly be shocked that I said such a thing to a border guard but hell he was laughing too and already telling me to pass and have a nice day.
He sniffed my passport. HE SNIFFED MY PASSPORT! If I were my passport I would feel violated.
That was the first day I ever wore that particular body lotion and I haven't worn it since, I feel it's just too potent. I'm saving it for my husband. Cuz damn.