Sunday, September 27, 2009

I Feel Like a Stunt Woman

One of the new D sized bras I bought in celebration of moving up the boob alphabet another step away from my sad little B (thank you pregnancy) is one of these wide-straped-lot's-o-support-comfy-deals that's made in chartreuse and with lace to try and keep it pretty looking. This is the kind of bra that I used to put on my head in Walmart and say to my gal pal Jaime "My GOD I can wear it as a hat! It's huge! LOOK!! Look at it on my head!!" She would run away from me in embarrassed horror, I would laugh and fun was had by all.

And damn it now I'm wearing one.

This thing is monstrous and I feel so supported and tied down and strapped in I'm pretty sure you could hook the back of it to a crane and fly me around like tinkerbell in all of my pink laced glory.

What's going to happen to me in another 2 1/2 months as these bitches continue to grow? Am I going to have to buy playtex 18 hour bras? I don't want to do that, somebody tell me I don't have to because those things come in a BOX and you can't even SEE them or try them on before you buy them. What's the deal do they have leprosy? I don't want a lepor bra. Why can't I at least touch it before I buy it?

This big boob thing is confusing.

32 comments:

Ritamg said...

I see you didn't say the same mistake I made a year ago at a party in McAllen when I mentioned that I went shopping with my "girlfriend". In the next breath some guy asked me if I was a lesbian. Not that anything is wrong with that..... I assume it is better by Mexican standards to say gal pal instead of girlfriend. Now I say "My friend and I went shopping" and let everyone guess the gender of my friend.

Ritamg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Ritmag - lol I actally wrote that and then backspaced it, it's kind of an older saying that doesn't always fly right any more :P

a Proverbs wife said...

lol, thank goodness my boobs never grow during pregnancy. they turn wierd colors but they never grow.

when i have a son they may grow though. so i'll keep my mouth quiet lmao.

don't worry, wait til they start leaking like mad and you don't even know it until your legs are wet LMAO! :D

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

A Proverbs Wife - Maybe I should actually BUY some of those breast pad-soaker-upper-dealies I've been eyeing in the store huh?? :P

Suki said...

Don't fret, in your country you actually GET bras bigger than a D, though they're shit expensive.

Me? Stuck with a teeny-weeny ribcage and D-cup boobs in India where all bras are between 32B and 38C. I need my stuff tailormade or altered. Joy of joys!

(Welcome to Big-Boob Hell!)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Suki - That's horrid! Does nobody have boobs there or what? I just can't imagine, ah well, the price you pay for being a hottie :P :)

Suki said...

Hmph, that's exactly what my boy says. "My baby's high maintenance" and all that. He isn't the one having to deal with a figure you NEVER get clothes for!

Actually, bras are still something of a luxury item in India. They're worn by only upper-class city women between the ages of 20 and 60, for the most part. That makes hardly 5% of the population.
Out of that 5%, how many would have exceptional boobs? And how many would realize that their bras don't fit - in spite of quadroboob and such evils? With all forms of traditional dress conveniently covering the boobs with ample amounts of loose clothing, bras just don't matter to most women. Sad plight I'm in :P

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Suki - Oh WOW! I had nooooo idea that's what it's like! And OUCH for the middle/low class country women - I imagine (?) you'd get used to it, but going braless, even for smaller chested person doesn't feel nice. Btw - quadraboob - lol - too true AND funny. Mexico is crazy-poor but the women still find some $ for bras, I'm guessing because they don't have the traditional dress like you all might - and would end up looking scary here. :P

Upstate Broad said...

Gringa AND Suki - I'd like to refer both of you to either Playtex.com or JMS.com (Just my size). Sorry to say I've been forced to wear the bra-equivalent of a chastity belt for many years, so I'm a valuable resource on the subject. Even better, if you can bite the bullet, LaneBryant.com. I have a whole wardrobe of the MOST comfortable bras, made from what is basically t-shirt fabric. Don't even need the big, fat "comfort straps."

And Gringa, whoever told you that you can't open the box and look at it? And take heart, for most women the boobs return to normal after the baby is weaned. Unfortunately for some - like my poor Mom, she actually ended up smaller after had 3 children than before.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Upstate - Well thank you ! And, OK I've thought about opening the box and peeking inside but I'm afraid of looking like a shoplifter or like I'm doing something shady. If it's in a box it's in a box! :P

Suki said...

@Upstate: Thanks :D. I manage, since we do get Triumph here and their 32Ds fit me just right. But for most of the population, Rs 500(that's about $10) is absolutely out of reach. For a bra, it's really expensive - you get cheap local stuff here for the equivalent of a dollar.

I do a fair amount of research, but when I get to live like a king on $400 a month - who spends 40-60 on a single bra!

And, G'n'M, going braless isn't tough for those who've been doing it all their lives. Heck, I go without a bra at home all the time! Actually, the saree blouse is like a bodice, so it covers and restrains the boobs without pinching your breath away. Here's a pic where you can see the tight-fitting blouse - http://bp3.blogger.com/_A0jCyvcQJyI/SHMV1IvuRvI/AAAAAAAAAdI/516DCYwORcM/s400/Madhuri+Dixit-3.jpg

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Suki - The pic on the link is SUPER cute! It makes me wonder why Americans haven't started copying it yet. :P

Refried Dreamer said...

Quit bitching! D boobies??? Au natural? Argh! i LOST my boobs with both kids... After they were sucked dry, i had two mosquito bites and hips wide enough to birth a cow.

Don't get me wrong, children are great and all, but it cost me a lot of 'special time' for hubby and another $5K to get my d's back.

Enjoy them while you have them!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Refried - *sensing some hostility* *backing away slowly*

:P Damn girl I'm sorry - they WENT AWAY!!??? WTF? I'm expecting mine to deflate and become pancakes but I never thought they'd just dissapear on me. Not cool yo.

Karen said...

OMG! You are so funny, and your friends... You are always making me cry. I have been in a 36 DD for most of my life. My daughters the same. My oldest actually went to a K while pregnant.hHer doctor told her to wait 'til she had kids and they would be smaller. After #2 (the K baby) they only went down to a J. You wanna talk expensive! She had them "reduced" more than 20 lbs. She is happy now as a C/D.

Here in the lower half of Mexico they seem to take a page from India. Bras seem to go up to about 36 C. And a whole lot of women are a whole lot of woman. Having your boobs hanging out or bursting out doesn't seem to faze most of the women. You see a lot of boob in Mexico. That is why they have so many pretty, frilly, wonder bras. Just not very many big ones.

Suki, a friend in the states was like you. Tiny little thing, but BIG. She went down a size with each of her four kids. She used to say she had to roll them up on a pencil to fill an A cup.

Refried Dreamer said...

yes, Gringa...*sniffle, I'm still not quite over it yet. ;)

jenny said...

Did anyone tell you your nipples turn brown while pregnant or shortly after birth?? Then after breastfeeding, the pink nipples slowly come back. As for boob size, I have a hard time finding a nice reasonably priced bra, too. I've been pretty lucky at target, I can find D cups that fit me for around 10 bucks.. my problem is after pregnancy, the one bigger boob seems to have gotten bigger so one boob is a D and the other is a C.

No woman has a perfectly sized pair of boobs, they're all uneven, unless they were worked on. But damn... I hate that mine are so uneven now. The husband likes them, and it's become sort of our inside joke that if he's in the mood for a little boob or a lot of boob, I got 'em both! LOL! You can see how we ended up with 4 kids LOL!! :oP

And yeah, you can open the boxes, just be nice and put them back in neatly.

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

Yea i hope u don't have to buy one of those, I did and they SUCK they are ugly and dont feel as good and they say or a suppose to be,

and u can just open the box or the mean old sales people will give u and ugly look and think u are stealing, I mean dang haven't they ever wanted to see what it looks like ugh

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

Yea i hope u don't have to buy one of those, I did and they SUCK they are ugly and dont feel as good and they say or a suppose to be,

and u can just open the box or the mean old sales people will give u and ugly look and think u are stealing, I mean dang haven't they ever wanted to see what it looks like ugh

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Karen - HOLY WOW your daughter was a K ??? That's a SIZE? And they took TWENTY POUNDS off when they reduced!!!?? OMG ! 20?!? THAT is amazing, just daaaanggg. Good for her on the reduce! And you're right about the cleavage here, and even more so where I'm at is the see-through type shirts that seem so popular. There's no keeping Victoria a Secret when it's under a see through shirt. :P That and bra straps!! Nobody cares if a strap shows here and I kinda like it. I'll still piss my pants if mine is showing, but maybe I'll come around one of these days :P

Refried - But hey, 5K well spent, I thought you had a nice rack in your picture.

Jenny - LOL my lefty would still be happy in a C while righty is falling out and begging for D. I want so bad to use your lil inside joke with my husband! LMAO, that's cute :) OH !! So they WILL go back to being normal colored again? Cool! Honest to goodness I was staring at them last night thinking "Holy damn where is the sweet rosy pink? And when did the circles become desert plate sized??" Will the areola go back to their old size too? I feel like I have african boobs these days. :P

Kelly - So they're NOT so comfy? Well thank you! I wouldn't want to buy it if it's not. :)

jenny said...

LOL!! Yeah the nipples go back to being pink again. At least mine did. As for nipple size, I think mine are the same as pre-pregnancy, so if yours got bigger, they'll probably go back to normal afterwards.

Oh! And be my guest-- make your own inside joke with Chino on the boob size! LOL!

Krissie said...

Man, if someone could guarantee me only my right boob would grow, I'd get myself knocked up immediately.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny - Good, I like the pink, this . . . muddy pink is just no good :P :)

Krissie - Let's do a boob swap, I've got a D and a C, which one do ya need??? :P

Blogget Jones said...

Okay, so I wear a DD. 38DD. That's good ol' BJ.

I didn't want to breast feed, but this friend of mine was about militant about it. She said to me one day, "...and if you breast feed, you get to enjoy a larger cup size for awhile!"

I blinked, pointed at my endowed self, and said, "Have you met me?? That's not a good selling point!"

That was the end of the argument.

Krissie said...

I have a B and a C. So one will be OO, and the other O°.

Sgt said...

I don't wear a bra, but I just felt an overwhelming urge to be a part of this conversation!

Not sure why...

Odd.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Blogget - Whhooooo you would have ended up like an H or something! Yikes :P :)

Krissie - well, when I get back to normal - if that's in the cards, I'll take that B if you want my B-and-a-half righty. :P

Sgt. You're just a naturally supportive type of man. ;)

Sparx said...

Ah the big boob issue... mine went up to a 'J' but are back down to an 'E' now... they seem just the same as they did before... but enjoy your trip into the Land of Boob, it's not so bad really!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sparx - my God you're an E ??? PANTS ! ( :P ) And I'm complaining about a regular D, not even a DD. What do we DO with the giant bras after the boobs go away?

Sunshine said...

After my first two kiddos...i tooo like refried dreamer...had to spend awhole lot of special time with the hubs and he also spent a few $k to get me from a AA to a DD! Then i got prego's again and them suckers grew so darn big! To a 36H...OMG bras were $60! For one! Right now the boobage is under control and i'm sitting pretty at a 34F....lol....im still nursing my little ones...so thus the overage! Ill help you with the boobage issues! I know all about how to measure for a bra with breastfeeding!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sunshine - FOR REAL!!??? Having seen you in person I would have NEVER EVER guessed that you had some. . help :P No way! Just wow :)