That's it, it's settled, I'm either disturbed or a pervert.
Yesterday morning in hotel-scary I was standing at the front desk minding my own business when a priest walked in the door. A real priest in the black outfit with the white collar and everything. I've never seen one in real life, only in movies, so when I reacted the way I did it was kind of a surprise.
He smiled at me - just one nice warm priest smile - and I melted right there on the spot thinking in my head "Hey Hey Haaayyyyyyyy! WHOOOO Lawwdy what a sexy man!" "MMMm mamma likes a man in a suit!" "Hey Priest! Chh Chhh SSssssss Preist! Priest! Over here!" "Where's my fan? I need a fan." "Sexy Muthah. . . " Aaaaand STOP.
WOW! I never knew that Clergy could send me over the perv deep end, but here we are. A group of previous grouchy-hateful-mean-old-ladies that gave me dirty looks and acted like I was going to steal their purses that morning when I brought them more coffee ran up to the priest miraculously transformed. All of a sudden they were glowing, smiling and fawning old ladies instead of beotches. I can't blame 'em of course, and who knows, maybe they could sense my oncoming priest perversion and that's why they were so rude to me.
He was only there for a few moments before taking the ladies off in a church van but those moments were enough to convince me to stay being a Protestant. Cuz damn, priests have enough trouble these days with kids, they don't need some crazy gringa comin' after 'em too. Lawwwwsi Mercy.