Saturday, September 5, 2009

Weird Pregnancy Shit They Don't TELL You About !

******UPDATE: I've honestly learned a lot just from the women that have commented on this post and I wasn't expecting any more prego-surprises! I just want to say Thank You for those that have been so honest and have shared - I honest to goodness apreciate every last word! *******

I always heard about morning sickness and cravings but there are other things pregnancy freaking DOES to you that nobody mentioned. Once shit started to hit the fan and I ASKED former pregnant ladies just what the HELL?? They fessed up to a lot of it, but I'm still surprised more don't talk about it. Well I'M gonna tell you, in case you don't know. People need to know this shit.

Sense of Smell: Sure, you hear that pregnant women have a "heightened sense of smell" but SHIT FIRE nobody mentioned it would be so extreme that I would smell things that NOBODY else can. For some reason, the first 4 months of pregnancy our Kitchen smelled to me like some foreign alien death. I would gag every damn time I walked in there, and sometimes puke! I could never pinpoint where exactly it was coming from and I cleaned it and searched like mad! Chino? He couldn't smell anything. NOTHING, and he thought I was bonkers!! It was not cool.

Even worse was that I could smell (and sometimes still can) the air that my husband breathes out. When we breathe out it's not just air but water and all sorts of impurities and shit our body feels like getting rid of. I don't know what in GAWDS NAME is wrong with that man, or what it is that he eats a lot of but honest to God, I could barely come near him, and I would gag if I had to kiss him more than a peck. For 4 months. There was no sleeping with my head on his shoulder or cuddling or making out - try having sex and not getting close to your mans face, or trying to explain that you really really
really don't want to "do it" because his breath is going to kill you. It was terrible and he spent many lonely nights being all rejected and pitiful, no matter how much I explained it. There was no change in his breath, no halitosis or condition, my nose had just gone MAD. 6 months in and a couple times a week he still has queer rotten alien breath and I hate it.

Sometimes I don't even know if it's just ME or if a bad smell is something the whole world can smell.

Deodorant! WHO THE CRAP KNEW that my body would go CRACKERS and all out of balance or something and have a crazy creation to deodorant? When I use regular deodorant my skin has a nasty smelly chemical-y reaction to it the second it hits me and the smell is so bad I have to wash it all off. I have NO idea if it's just my spidey-sense of smell or if it's something others can smell too, but it's so bad it doesn't matter. I'll get sick to my stomach from the chemical stench if I don't wash it off. THANK GOD I tried 10 different deodorants and when I broke down and tried one of those gel deod's (that do nothing for sweat!) I discovered paradise. AND for what ever reason I don't sweat with the Gel kind anymore and, well, God bless GOD, I'm not a disgusting mess.

None of this SHHIIIIIT is in Prego books! What the CRAP? I have more to share but this is enough for one day. (ok I've got stuff to do and I can't write anymore) :P But listen, PREGNANT LADIES (and men) and previous pregnant ladies !!!!!!! HEY !! Would you please SHARE this stuff?? I had trouble finding info on the breath thing even ONLINE and what the HELL is not online these days? OMG! Please for the love of pete and poor inexperienced prego girls - OPEN UP!! Bloggers love to air dirty laundry so don't wimp out on me now. I don't care if people think I'm goofballs I'd like for the next knocked up sap to have some warning.

Ok. Thank You. xoxoxox's :P


jenny said...

I wrote about that once, with my prego-spidey sense of smell. I couldnt stand the smell of the office, it would make me gag every time I was in it and I was ready to GUT the room! (I didn't know I was pregnant) The garage had the same reaction from me, and even just leaving the doors open the smell would waft into the open windows and I'd close them as fast as I could. When I realized I was pregnant, it all made sense to me!

I was the same with Hubby's breath. I couldn't stand sleeping on his shoulder in bed anymore, his breath was horrible and as hard as I tried, I couldn't do it.

Couldn't wear perfume anymore (still can't); got sensitive with laundry soap; even brushing my teeth was different! I usually like to brush my tongue (weird I know) after I brush my teeth, just a quick brush over the tongue and then spit out the toothpaste.. when I was pregnant, just putting the brush on my tongue made me gag and it's not like I was jjamming it back there!

Your feet get bigger, too, did you know that? All those cute strappy sandals you might have? You probably won't be able to wear 'em anymore.

Your vision gets a little blurry, too. You're supposed to wait until a few months after birth to get your eyes tested for new glasses.. it's true with me.. my vision was blurry for distance and then a few months later, it finally cleared up.

That's all the stuff I can think up for now.

But the sex is great, isn't it?? I had way more orgasms when I was pregnant and they were emtional ones, too. Made me cry like a baby! sheesh!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny !! LOL on gutting the room - but not realy. Dag gum isn't that WEIRD? Sensitive to laundry soap - horray I managed to avoid one! :P The gag reflex, that's a fun one too - I tried to put a pencil in my mouth to hold with instead of putting it down - nope! :) Sex? What sex? My vagina has closed up shop, it's SO not cool. But YES ! When I make myself do it for my husband and things actully feel good down there - WATCH OUT! Holy moly who's the one coming too soon NOW!?? :P (hell I'll take em when I can get em though!) :P Thank You for sharing :)

Monkey Girl said...

Oh yeah, but what they don't tell you is that sometimes the super smell sense never goes away. My kids are 11 and 16 and I still have such a keen sense of smell that I can be literally overwhelmed by smells to the point of migraines.
When I was pregnant with my baby, our neighbor had the worst smelling breath that you could smell from 10 feet was just god awful.

As far as cooking smells, well, I stayed out of the kitchen for months. Going in there was just torture.

Our bodies hormones and chemicals change in such a short period of time. My hair got less curly and thinner (still is), I can't wear earrings anymore without my ears feeling like they're burning. All the face cream and wash had to be changed. It was terrible.

Congrats and good luck.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Monkey Girl - well crap it sounds like you and Jenny BOTH had stuff that STAYED bad. I didn't know that at all, I thought it would all magicaly go back to normal after giving birth. I'm an idiot. Oh hevens to betsy this nose CAN NOT stay like this! I'll take one of the other wierd symptoms, like the fast orgasms, can't I just keep THAT one?

jenny said...

I've heard people say that the reason the super smell stays with you is a 'mother-protecting-her-babies' kind of thing. You can smell something bad and you keep your kids away.

*sniff* I smell gas, go outside kids!

*sniff* Who pooped?! Better change that diaper before you get a butt rash!

*sniff* Honey, I smell something, smells like something died and it's rotting. It smells like it's coming from under the cabinet. Honey, I still smell it, DO something! Oh, I'll do it myself! *thwack thwack thwack! (sound of hammer)* Honey! See! i TOLD you there was something dead! Look! There's a dead mouse under there! (true story!)

Anonymous said...

I too had a hyper-sensitive sense of smell . . . poor hubby went through several brands of toothpaste before I would allow his face to get anywhere near mine.

I had lots of food aversions when pregnant, although I lost almost all of them after the baby came - the only one that has stuck around is a new distaste for chicken.

Here's one nobody will tell you: should you chose to breastfeed, your milk will come out of more than one hole in your nipple! There are like 4 or 5 different little, tiny holes, and milk will squirt out of each one.

And on the topic of breastfeeding . . . while there are lots of good reasons to give the kid a boob, the single greatest reason? Nursing orgasms. Seriously . . . the kid latches on, and Momma needs a new pair of panties. It's not every time, but it happens often enough to make the fact that MILK COMES OUT OF MY BREASTS worthwhile. (Because seriously . . . the fact that MILK COMES OUT OF MY BREASTS is still weird to me.)

Leslie Limon said...

Oh my did I ever experience the spidey sense of smell. And it just gets worse with each pregnancy. At the end, I couldn't even stand the smell of dish soap. It was horrible. I would walk my kiddies to school and return home sick to my stomach because of all the nasal contamination. I told everyone about it, but no one knew what the heck I was talking about.

I had the same problem with the deodorants. I didn't know what to use, because they all smelled gross. But a good, Mexican friend of mine, suggested I use half of a lime for deodorant. It actually worked and didn't make me sick! Go figure!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny - Protection, I guess I'm cool with that, that makes it a little better :) And WHAT is UP with prego's having to do everything themselves?? You had to take apart a cupboard?!? Dag gummit boys - we are GROWING something here, a little help please??? :P Lol whenever Chino is feeling lazy I get huffy and say "FINE make the PREGNANT lady do it!" :p too bad it only worked a couple of times, dag gummit.

F&F - OH!! CHICKEN !! Chicken is EVIL right???? LOL for real though! I used to cook it 4 times a week for dinner and now I loath even the sight of it, and when I tell people that I SWEAR I won't like it even after the baby is born they foo-foo me and say "OH Noooo that'll allll go away and back to normal." But I really REALLY don't think I'm ever going to like chicken again. Thank You for sharing that! For REALZ ! And breastfeeding WHAT???? B.F. orgasms? Nuh-Uh. Honest to god? Like just out of knowhere? Yep this is definetly NOT in the prego-books, holy cow! I don't even know what to say, that's just amazing, thank you agian!

Leslie - If I run out of the gel stuff you better believe I'll be running for some limes! How neat is that? And talk about natural. And your sense of smell got worse with each pregnancy? Oh lordy if I have too many kids I'll have to get a job as a drug dog at the border, I swear.

Krissie said...

IF I ever get pregnant by some weird chance or miraculous circumstance, I am so gonna treat your blog like an Encyclopedia Pregnantica.

jenny said...

Krissie!! OMG! LOL!! (my kids just came in asking me what was so funny!) God! I LOVE this.. This is so fucking funny!

My mom had an aversion to cat food and bacon when she was pregnant and to this day, she's alright with the cat food, but she still can't stand the bacon.

I couldn't stand hotdogs while pregnant, and I'm still a little iffy about it now.

My BFF couldn't go in the food store when she was preggo, she couldn't stand the smell of the meat dept.

Fishsticks-- really?? You had orgasms? I had cramping every time I nursed the first month or so, and then afer that, nada. Lucky you! (there's another fact for you-- most people, though not fishsticks apparently, cramp while breastfeeding.. it helps the uterus get back to smaller size after shooting out a baby.)

Crystal said...

Ok, I had weird things happen to me too when I was pregant. Like... for a while I could not stand the smell of food cooking.. imagine that. Me outside waiting for dinner. Another one was I could not wash my hands enough. I did not want to be around animals, but to me the weirdest was public restrooms. I do not like public restrooms anyway, but when I was pregnant I could not go in them to use the bathroom. I would get sick. I mean literaaly sick to my stomach! Good thing I had friends and family around. If not then I would go to a place that I knew the restroom would be clean, like a hospital or something.

Vadose said...

I was shocked when I was 7 months along and my labia got all huge and swollen. Seriously. And I was just constantly sore down there for the last few months of pregnancy. As soon as my baby was born it all went back to normal, though.

And my nose would get all stuffed up, but only at night.

And instead of feeling hungry, I'd just feel sick when my blood sugar levels were low.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - Pregnatica - you're hilarious :P AND HA! MUUAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAA ! That's exactly what I used to tell SPARX ! And look what the hell happend !!

Jenny ! - DAG GUMMIT I was looking forward to my Orgasms! NOW I get cramps?? Aw no fair. LAAAAAAAMMMEE.

Crystal - You crack me up! I'd rather go to the bathroom in a GAS STATION than a Hospital :P Hospitals FOR SURE have sick people! But wow, that would seriously suck to not be able to go anywhere! And you could eat the food AFTER it was cooked? Isn't that something? Just strange strange.

Vadose - OH ! The labia! Thats happened to me like a couple of times now, just for a day at a time but WOW is that weird? Well hell, it doesn't even seem THAT weird considering how all the books and doctors preach about the increased blood flow, but STILL, it's like "Oh wow, they inflate!?" And you had to have them for two months? Dang.