Monday, September 14, 2009

Why Are People Afraid of Clowns?

Because Clowns are ger-crapping CREEEEPY. I can't STAND clowns, they freak me out and give me the icky chills. WHY am I such a weirdo? You can't really see their face, it's all painted up to look like they're smiling all the time but maybe they're not -and I need to see a persons face to be able to read them and feel safe with them. I can't even stand people who talk to me while wearing sunglasses - I HATE that - because I can't make eye contact and I can't read their eyes and tell what's really going on behind what they are saying. I don't care if it's sunny out, take your damn glasses off and LOOK at me asshole.

I don't have a clown phobia or anything spectacular like that, I just really reeeeaaaaly don't like them and avoid them as much as possible. Avoiding clowns was simple back home, it's not like they just walked down the street or lived next door, but here in Mexico it's different. The freaking bastards are everywhere. GAHHH.

They preform daily in busy intersections honking their nose and juggling and then coming to your car to shake you down for some pesos before your light turns green. (this is the same intersection as the fire-breather post from last week, it must be lucrative) These guys are extra scary because their make up and clothes are all home-done and a tad dirty from standing in traffic day in and day out and I KNOW they're not smiling and happy beneath the paint because it's 100 degrees out and they're juggling in the sun. My doors are already locked when I drive but for these guys the window goes up.

THE CREEPIEST experience with clowns here (gaaaahhhh I don't even want to talk about it) was when Chino and I were downtown walking around one day and we came across a clown show in the plaza. There were a lot of people standing around watching him do his thing and he didn't look horribly scary and he seemed nice enough to the children so we stopped to watch for a little bit. (far in the back though, thank you) After we had stood watching for a bit we were suddenly interrupted by a shake-down-clown that came out of nowhere.

All of a sudden this guy was in my face and I didn't even understand what was going on! All I knew was that there was a dirty scary looking clown 1.5 feet from me and he was nasty and his clothes were old and his makeup was all blue and dirty white and it wasn't painted with care - it was painted kinda scary almost - and he looked drunk and was for some reason fixated on me. The horror, I was frozen so thank God for my husband. Chino knew that he was the shake-down-clown and that we had to give up a couple pesos for him to go away. He took the pesos and hung around a minute I swear just to intimidate me - or probably because I was a white girl staring at him like stammering idiot - we'll never know which.

SUPER CREEEEEEEEEEPP !! GAaaaahhhhh never again!

Besides the intersections and parks the damn things seem to be all over the place here. You'll see them walking down the street or even in the grocery store shopping for eggs just like the rest of us. I guess yeah, I stop at the store on my way home from work too, but if I were a stripper I'd put some clothes on and if I were a damn clown I'd at least wipe my face off.

I dressed up as a clown for like 4 Halloweens in a row during my adulthood and I actually loved it. At first it was a face your fears thing but then I realized that the outfit and big shoes were just really damn comfy. But it didn't change a thing, when I volunteered at church for the kids Halloween thing there was another clown there - a lady I knew well - and SHE still managed to freak me out. Gah, I HATE not being able to read someones face and that's THAT. I guess along with mace I should carry Noxema wipes - just in case.

12 comments:

Krissie said...

Before I read, SCREW YOU FOR HAVING PENNYWISE JUMP AT ME WITHOUT WANING LIKE THAT! Ugh.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

omg no you DI'INT !! EEEEEK, for real - it looks like he was standing behind sheets blowing on a clothesline - and I HAVE TO HANG MY SHEETS ON A CLOTHESLINE and now I'll be afraid to look behind them - revenge complete!

Krissie said...

*smirks*

Kristi said...

I have been a long-time lurker of your blog (used to read your dirty blog too! lol) and I just have to say I HATE CLOWNS!!! Totally creepy. I swear I had Ronald McDonald look in my bedroom window when I was 3 years old and I have not liked clowns ever since! The movie IT freaked me out as a kid too!!

Blogget Jones said...

I blame it on John Wayne Gacey. Ewww.

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

OMG i dont like those things either AHHH no way...when I was younger I had to sleep with the light on...due to those thing im still scared of them til this day they FREAK me OUT!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Kristi - HHHHIIII!!!! I swear it's like Christmas morning when lurkers delurk! :P And all it took was a post about clowns, who knew? Gahhh Ronald McD, I knew I was supposed to like him but I just couldn't get up the gumption, and I sure as hell never EVER wanted the McD's birthday party where he would come and hug you - omg no.


Blogget - I had to Google that name and EEEK what WAS that guy? No more googling clowns, just no more.

Kelly - Why WHY do we subject CHILDREN to them if we don't like them ourselves? It's an epidemic I swear, the tramps need to go.

Vadose said...

"Shake-Down-Clown"! Hahaha! Noxema wipes! I feel your fear, but your post had me laughing!

Crystal said...

What does the shake down clown do if you do not give him pesos? Does he really try to shake you down?? That is scary!! I will stay clear of clowns. I hope there are none on the ranch where I am going to be staying. The movie it scared me also. I can stand the clowns at the circus and fair, but seeing them walk all over twon would be too weird.
My cousin is terrified of them. Her boyfrind put one in the drivers side of her car and asked her to go get the coke out of the car and when she did she was screaming and running all over the yard. I thought she was acting dramatic, but I guess some people are scared of them.
By the way, shake down clown probably was drunk.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Vadose - :) EEeeee!! I love it when people laugh and are happy to be here! Makes my day :)

Crystal - This particular Shake-em-down-clown just WOULDN'T go away. He would stand IN your face till you gave. At the intersections they leave you be but just give you dirty looks You said you're going to stay on a ranch? Well, I've never seen any country clowns so you should be safe :P Your poor cousin! At least I don't scream, that would suck :P

Ritamg said...

I have the same sentiments as you about these sorry looking clowns I've seen around town.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Ritamg - That's a relief. :) I was thinking earlier this week that this blog is the first impression you would have of me as a possible aquaintance - and just how bad that could be. *chuckle*
Ohh dear.