I went for an ultrasound yesterday and they did the 4-D scan thing. It let's you actually SEE the baby's shape - eye's, mouth, nose, lips and even little tiny fingers - it was pretty damn neat. To tell you the truth though I felt like I was cheating somehow. What generation before this one ever got to see their baby's FACE before it was born? Does this not feel like cheating to anybody else?
SO, here's the thing. Ummm. Shit. How do I say this? How does one say "My baby is ugly?" Don't hate on me people, you didn't see her nose. It's gigantic, my baby has a nose that's 2/5ths the width of her entire face. Huge. Gigantic. Flat and when they showed the side view it's even crooked over and down like a witches nose. She got my husbands nose. It's one of those big flat noses that came strait from the Aztecs and all I could do was stare at it.
I'm a freak I know. I was seeing my baby's face for the first time and all I could do was stare at her nose, speechless, and think "HOLY DAMN THAT'S A NOSE!"
I'll totally love her and her nose and I'll never tell her she's ugly so don't worry, I'm not THAT much of a psycho. I'll tell her she's unique. An individual. I'll tell her she has "interesting" features that set her apart from the common girls. I'll feed her so much bullshit she'll smell like a cow field and that's that.
Maybe she'll grow into it. That happens right? Wasn't Brooke Shields ugly when she was a kid? SOME people really do have interesting faces that aren't ugly. You know, like the kind that makes you do a double take and think "Huh. She's not ugly, she's just. . . different. . . like, kinda. . neato? Huh"
She's only 3 pounds right now maybe she'll grow into it by the time she's born.
I'm betting it's Karma. My Mom and I love seeing ugly babies. Most people think ALL babies are beautiful but we know better - some babies are just plain oogly - and we get the biggest kick out of it. If we see one on t.v. or in person we get all giddy, giggly and goofy and start making our little comments to each other. "OOoooo that's a good one, poor little thing. "giggle" Maybe she'll grow out of it. "Tee-hee." " "OhmygoddidyouSEE that baby? Jesus I wonder what the father looks like!?" It sounds horrible typing it out but it's all in silly fun and only with each other and we don't make fun of handicap babies or the truly deformed, nothing like that, we're not evil for God's sake.
In polite society we OF COURSE adhere to the rule that when speaking of someones baby to anyone other than ourselves that the baby is certainly 100% beautiful. Every baby I've ever viewed in the company of it's mother is just the cutest thing I've EVER seen. I'm not a monster.
But Karma sees all I guess and now I'll have to pay. I called my Mom yesterday to tell her and she told me "OHH NOOO, you're going to have a BEAUTIFUL baby, you and Chino couldn't make anything else! She's going to be just lovely. You'll see, just wait."
I've lost her.