Thursday, October 1, 2009

How To Make a Flour Tortilla

Ok, maybe how not to make a flour tortilla. Chino got a bug up his butt last week to make a big ole batch of homemade flour tortillas. We normally buy them fresh off the griddle from our tortilla lady for 15 pesos a pack, ($1.25) and I think he realizes now, what a steal that is.

He whipped up a batch using an entire bag of flour and proceeded to guilt me in to helping roll the blob into little balls.

"Jew could hale-p, dat way jew can learn."

"I remember from last time. I'm good." *smile, eye lash bat*

*stare*

"Fine."

He started getting bent out of shape with himself when he couldn't get them to roll out into perfect circles and couldn't get them to roll out thin enough, he really hates a thick tortilla. I had retreated back to the couch for the rolling and cooking part. To roll them out you have to be all bent over the table rolling them out one by one, it takes forever and after you get 3 done you have to go into the 110 degree kitchen and cook those 3 before you can roll out more. Don't hate me but this was his idea and I wanted no part of it. My back doesn't take well to me bending over much (*snort*) and I wanted to stay in the air conditioning and not die in the kitchen.

After he cooked the second batch he tasted one and realized that he forgot to add salt.

Yuck, they tasted gross so he took all the dough, flattened it out a little bit, sprinkled on salt and tried to work it in. Bless his heart.

SO, dough kinda fixed he got to it and about an hour and half later he had about 25 homemade tortillas. Part way through he was so pissed at his lack of ability to make them round that he took a tupperware lid and started cookie-cutting them out into perfect circles, I think it made him feel a little better.

The picture is the ONE tortilla I volunteered to roll out. I thought it was pretty damn nice but he told me to cut it with the tupperware lid so it would be perfect.

"I made it, it's nice the way it is."

"Use dee leed so eet will be round."

"No! It's just fine!"

"Don't be lazy."

"Lazy? What?? You need to except my tortilla for who it is. It's beautiful the way it is and it doesn't need plastic surgery."

*stare*

"Fine.*

We'll be buying them from the tortilla lady again, we love her.

22 comments:

Krissyface said...

you're fucking hilarious.

jenny said...

Yeah, I make our own tortillas, not that hard to do, but damn if the kids won't eat it!

"is that the store one?"

"No, I made it."

"I want the store one" *pout*

I finally got the bright idea to save the bag the store ones came in and keep the home ones in there, fooled them!

Home ones taste better than the store ones, but if I had a lady down the street that sold them for 1.25 a pack, I'd buy hers.

Sgt said...

Yeah, I made fresh tortilla once. The time spent cleaning up the mess probably cost way more than the savings.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissy - :) :) :) :)

Jenny - I used to love store bought! And then I was ruined by fresh-made and it's all over. Chino is so spoiled these days that we don't even buy more than a day's worth at a time, that way we have fresh made for every meal. :P So you make your own though? WOW! I see you mentioned green tomato salsa - do you have a good recipie for it? If not I'd be happy to point you in the right direction :) I use the tomatillos all the time but never thought to use actuall green tomatoes, I would imagine (???) It'd be pretty similar. :) Good luck!

Suki said...

Gawd, my chapatis(Indian unleavened bread thing) end up like the world map. I swear. I haven't tried rolling them since I was six years old.

Time to start?

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sgt - RIGHT !!?? A whole bag of flour, the lard, plus 2 hours of work and an hour of gas burned by using the stove. That cannot be less than the $2 it would have cost to buy the same amount.

Plus. They sucked. :P

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Suki - No. Not if it's cheap to buy :P

Krissie said...

You may not be bending down over the tortillas but you are SOOOOO bending over for your husband, hor! HE STARES YOU DOWN! I am so laughing at you now!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - Lil bastard he totally does and it's NOT fair because I can't do it back. I try but he laughs at me so I have to use more extreme tactics if I really want my way. Punk.

jenny said...

One of my other blog friends posted a green tomato salsa recipe that he swears by, so I was going to try his. If you have one, I'd love to have it!

I've had tomatillo salsa, I guess it would be similar.. Hmm.. should try it!

You didn't use the pregnant lady excuse???

Ritamg said...

Oh, my God, I am pissing my pants. I haven't met Chino yet, but I can already hear his voice.

Upstate Broad said...

Okay, somebody tell me, what is the female equivalent of a guy who's pussy-whipped, because I'd say that Gringa is that, whatever it is.

Damn, girl! I have never been stared down by my Big Guy in 24 years, and he got you twice in one conversation?!! I figured you were made of sterner stuff than that!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny - I TOTALLY did for the rolling out part! That's too much bent over *smirk* time, but I couldn't get out of the rolling into little balls part. (little balls, bending over, tortilla making is dirty :P )

Ritamag - You're so cool :) I'm not sure what's at the Cinopolis this weekend but we should go! Or rent, I love renting. :)


Upstate - Aaaahhhhh see, the thing is, these were teeeeensy little things and I value the VALUE of making him feel "in control" or having him think that he can "get me" sometimes. THAT way he feels we are on an even playing feild (HHHAAAAAAAA) and I'm more likely to get my way when I REALLY want my way. Not that I won't ANYWAYS, but this makes it easier and less time consuming.

Sparx said...

Bahahaha! I love that he used the tupperware to make them round... that's such a guy thing to do - perfect or no go... but girl, $1.25 a pack? Why even turn on the stove?

mwah

Leslie Limon said...

Your hubby talks like my hubby! Too cute!

I like homemade flour tortillas, but they are a real pain. I'd rather buy them!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sparx - Exactly! Thank You ! :)

Leslie - I imagine you're actually GOOD at making them, I just don't have the patience and I like to cook more flashy things :P I made my own salsa-roja to cook into pork for pork taquitos the other day - and used the ancho chiles and the chiles de arbol that you "taught" me how to use. It was soo good my husband is thrilled and I STILL can't thank you enough! :)

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I am now crossing "Make homemade tortillas" off of my list of things I want to try someday. Love that he HAD to have them round.

Sunshine said...

I know how to make them round...perfect circle...you need one of those tortillas presses....they make perfect round tortillas....we got to get you one! They have emm in progresso for a few dollars

jenny said...

I have a tortilla press, it ain't worth shit! They end up too thick and I end up rolling them out anyway. Pooh!

At 1.25 a pack, you're better off buying them!

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

HAHAHAHAHA if u are married to a Mexican or ANY Latino for that matter
they will try this on you

OH COME ON LETS MAKE SOME IM TIRED OF BUYING THEM IT WILL BE FUN AND U HAVE TO KNOW HOW IF UR GOING TO MEXICO BC MY MAMA WILL WANT YOU TO HELP HER

WHAT?

I CANT EVEN TALK TO HER BUT TO SAY HI AND BYE AND HOW ARE U DOING AND U WANT ME TO MAKE TORTILLAS WITH HER

and they talk u into it
or they give u a face that u cant say no to well I can never say no to anything UGH i need help lol

i hate to see him when we have kids
instead of having one i will have 2 oh man my gray is already peaking through HELP!!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

F & F - Hey maybe you'll be good at it, you never know! :) And the round thing, I know right? He's so silly :)

Jenny & Sunshine - I have a tortilla press but it's only for the corn kind, I didn't know they even make one for flour :P :)

Kelly - Nah the Mom would never ask you to help, it's a tortilla family pride thing, they'll do it themselves unless you BEG to help. :P

La Familia Garcia said...

I like this one too! Cause someties I just feel like I'll never be the perfect mexican housewife. I mean geesh! I can only imagine..