There. I said it. I've been holding out on this subject because I've scared off all the male readers I ever had with the prego-stuff already and the 2.5 left I was hoping to keep. (Hi Sgt) Admitting that you're not having sex doesn't help to keep male readers but I can't stand it anymore I MUST SPILL THE BEANS. I can't NOT spill the beans it's just the way I work. (I have a big mouth)
I USED to get laid a lot. I loved it, I remember it, I wish it would come back to me and I hope it will after I do the whole giving-birth thing, but for now it's like I didn't pay the water bill and someone shut me off.
What the HELL pregnancy? Just WHAT is your problem with SEX? Sex was how we GOT pregnant and now you shut me down like a cheap wind-up toy? Screw YOU pregnancy and your stupid hormones DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND that my poor husband is a TAD fed up with this? And DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND that I can only be convinced to do so many hand-jobs and "other" jobs before it just gets damn OLD??
PISS OFF AND GIVE ME MY VAGINA BACK YOU ASSHOLE.
I'm sorry but you got yourself into this mess in the first place. YOU made me forget to tell him to put on a condom and now you're knocked up and screwy and weird and pissy and confused all the time. GOOD JOB. This once-a-week crap is getting old and I'd appreciate if maybe you could ignore pregnancy once in a while and help me put out more. I'm not asking for a miracle, maybe just one more day a week? I'm not asking for a lot here, just something a little more reasonable.