Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm a Tramp

That's it, shame, shame on me and my trampy ways. And what DO they call it when you can SEE yourself performing a certain act or behaviour, totally admit you're doing it, KNOW it's wrong, am even surprised at yourself but can't seem to stop?? What. Is. THAT!?

I had a guest come in yesterday here at the hoe-tell, normal dude, treated me like a human and was asking me for a bunch of things during breakfast - whatever, fine. He came to tell me they were out of coffee (we had plenty he just didn't see it, no biggie) and needed more bread and o.j. I showed him the coffee made some warm o.j. form concentrate (that's what my boss buys and the water from the tap is never cold enough) and told him that I was sorry but we were out of bread. I did what I could with what my boss left me to feed people (no bread, REALLY??) and went on about the rest of my business feeling laaammee that I personally can't offer better service from this place. I did what I could do and I was polite of course but it was still substandard.

Half an hour later and the man came back to give me a $5 tip. *snort* I didn't understand what he was doing, I thought he wanted me to make change for him - we just don't get tippers here and I'm not used to it. I'm such a dork I actually asked "What's this?" *head bang against wall*

He tipped me for a shitty breakfast and I couldn't help but feeling really unworthy but at least I didn't try and give it back. The last time a guest offered me a tip I tried to give it back because I was just being nice to him for he hell of it, I wasn't working for a tip and I felt surprised and embarrassed - but I ended up making HIM feel double embarrassed by giving it back. Why must I be so socially backward?

There are times when I go crazy-out-of-my way above and beyond my job and THOSE are the times when I wish people would tip me. Why is it that those people can walk away without saying even a "Thank You" and this guy will tip me for NOTHING. Gahh, he wasn't even being slimy or anything, just nice.

I'd like to say it was all guilt but I'm sensing some trampiness in my ways for my behaviour to follow. The man came back later to ask about getting a stamp (of course my boss does not have stamps) and you'd think I was suddenly Mrs. Martha Stewart/Cinderella Transformed so-sorry-ee-ing and poo-poo-ing and batting my lashes and offering him directions to the nearest post office along with "If there's anything else you need just call down here to the front desk!" *Eyelash bat* *beauty-queen teeth smile.*


Gag.


All day I was a smiling suck-up to this guy and all because he gave me a tip. If he wouldn't have tipped me I would have still been polite and givin him directions to the post office but there would have been much less poo-poo-ing and eye lash batting . Even as I was doing it I was thinking "OH MY GAWD you lil tip HOR you! Stop it! Act normal for heavens sake."

I was hoping he would be gone today but he was still here and I found myself suit up with my princess smiles and "Is there anything I can get you? How is your stay going? Let me get more juice, right away!" *Bat Bat.*

Batty is right. I didn't want him to tip me again, I was still in tramp mode for the tip he gave me yesterday. So I'm a cheap tramp, one payment and I'm at-your-service till you leave. Beautiful. He DID tip me again today (OMG right? Stop it dude I don't deserve it and you're turning me into a freak, please, just let me be nice to you for free.)

The weirdest thing about the tramp-costume? I can't seem to take it off and now I'm miss-light-bright to all of our guests running around being extra sweet and grossly polite. I'm always polite, but this is getting out of hand. Ah well, everyone seems to be somehow impressed and walking away more happy than they came so at least I can feel good about my trampdom.


$5 and I'm a tramp for everyone, I'm not just cheap - I'm obviously confused.

8 comments:

Krissie said...

LOLOLOLOL You!

But I actually know the feeling. If there's a regular customer who tips well (or at all), you'd do anything to please them. And not just because of the money, but because of the mutual respect.

Why you were being extra nice to everyone, though... That Part I don't get. :P

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - It's the I'm-a-freak thing I guess. I don't do well switching back and forth between moods/attitudes so I find one and stick with it for a while :P

PuertoVallartaGirl said...

you are the cutiest blogger I think I've EVER seen. I love this, LOVE IT.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

P.V.G. - Well then, I most certainly love you too! :P
Aaaand aw shucks *feet shuffle* Guffawwwwww. :P

Sgt said...

I agree with Krissie. It wasn't so much the money, but the token of appreciation for your effort. Little did he know, he made so many others stay more pleasant.

And I always make an effort to tip Krissie well. I mean come on, she's clearly the best dancer there! ;-P

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sgt. - Rhythm and Boobs - can't beat it. :P

Suki said...

LOL! I'd do a lot for $5 right now. The haircut cost hardly $2.25, but my new glasses... uh... about $70. That is big, big OUCH right now.

Yes yes, photos to come in 5 days, once I get them!

Karen said...

I'm learning. I went to the bathroom before I read your blog this time. Tired of the wet pants from laughing so hard. You are such a ho, but you are thinking from the wrong side of the border. You're not a cheap ho if you translate into pesos, $65 sounds sooo much better. Having stood on my head for tips, I know the feeling.