Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Kidnapping Update

I posted HERE about my husbands brother and cousin being kidnapped by the mafia back in August. I feel the need to give and update and SAY something about it because how can I not SAY something about it - but nothing has happened. They're gone and ever since the last phone call a week after they were taken we haven't heard a thing and neither have the police.

It's been two months and I know damn well they're not coming back but I don't want to just up and close the book on them, how can a person DO that? I want to keep thinking maybe they'll show up one day. They were good decent people, hardworking and had nothing to do with any of the trouble that caused their kidnapping - why is the mafia so evil that they take innocent people to punish the guilty? Obviously the guilty people DON'T CARE. This whole thing is incomprehensible, I just, God it's just insane you know?

Chino and I don't talk about it. I don't know how to bring it up or even if I should. About a month after they were gone he trolled the Internet every night looking for reports of dead bodies found here where we live and across the border where they were taken and I assumed that he too had given up thinking they were going to come home alive. At what point do we accept that they are gone and that they are dead without seeing a body? Are we bastards for giving up after 2 months or is this normal? Should there be a funeral? I don't know how any of this works!

I can't imagine what this is like for Chino and his dad and other brothers and I wish I could know what's going on inside my husbands head so that I could do something to help him through this but I haven't a clue. I don't know if I should ask him - maybe he WANTS me to ask him so he can talk about it - or maybe he's thinking I'm some kind of crappy wife because I never talk about it and maybe he thinks I've forgot - OR maybe he's better being left alone to deal with it and try to forget about it. God, I just don't know anything.

Ok. Enough flipping out, if I don't stop myself I'll keep droning on for page after page and nobody needs that. Just hug your loved ones ok? I don't care if it sounds cliche - you NEED to be thankful for everyday you get with your family and friends - BE AWARE that you are thankful and BE AWARE of how much they mean to you and don't forget it - shit really does happen to normal people.


Krissyface said...

that is terrifying and I am so sorry to hear you haven't heard anything. I wish I had something positive to say...also, making a joke would seem inappropriate and there really aren't any so I'll just say thinking of you guys, Gringa.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissyface - :P I'm the awkward dorky idiot type that WOULD go with the humor route - and end up with both feet in my mouth :P Shit happens yo. Hell I don't know what to say either - and to my own husband!

Ritamg said...

This is something us midwest gals can not imagine. These things only happen in the movies, not real life, right? Damn, it's just not right. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry.

PuertoVallartaGirl said...

When I read this I thought Now I feel a little guilty for being devasted right now. At least he is safe in canadian immigration for no reason. But not in danger. that is terrifying. wow. you a very strong woman.

JJ said...

My opinion is to say something, without humor, to your husband to see if he DOES want to talk about it. I'd at least try, hard as it is. Maybe just ask him if he wants to talk about it and explain like you have here why you haven't. This is a terrible situation and I feel for the both of you, there can't be any set rules for how to handle it, on your end or on your husband's. I can't even imagine it. The best a person can do is let their partner know they are there for them. Suerte, Chica.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Rita - Us Midwest gals :) We never had THESE kinda dreams driving by the corn feilds :P :)

P.V.G. - He's in immigration? How did I miss that HUGE part of your blog? Goodness I'm sorry, it IS tough. When C. was in immigration jail it was horrid. Not the treatment, but just the fact that your sweet love is locked up, it's horrid. I hope he gets out really soon I'm so sorry.

J.J. - I've been leaning tword the same thing, he SHOULD know that I'm at least here for him right? I mean what else is a spouse for? Thank You.

Suki said...

I've only heard of two people being... gone and not coming back. One was a teacher's husband, another was another teacher's sister. It's been years and years for both of them, and I have truly no idea how they handle it :(.

Quiet hugs and major head-patting is the only thing that works, I suppose.