Friday, October 2, 2009

Midget at the Market

Yesterday in the grocery store my grocery bagger was a Midget. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to act cool and normal and like you don't notice anything different at all "Laa laa dee daa I see midgets every day laaa dee daa" and NOT STARE? I mean really?

Anyways, I just now decided that it's not my fault, it's society. Midgets have only been portrayed on t.v. and in movies and at the circus only as funny little objects TO BE stared at or laughed at and so therefore when I see one in real life it's just not my fault. I don't CARE if they have a reality show or have been on Oprah, that shit is all the same, exploiting them because of their size.

So there, I feel better.

Here in this part of Mexico there is a much larger than average population of these little people. I don't know if it's something in the water (of COURSE it is) or maybe it's just the fact that people here breed like rabbits and therefore a lot more of them make it into the world, but we see them all the time.

C. and I at the grocery store -

"Look, look look looklooklooklook over there"

"Eees that a meedjit?"

"I think so, right?"

"Jays." "Heeee! Look at heem walk!"

"Don't stare, don't stare."

"Oh jeah."

We're still not yet used to it and it makes me feel utterly un-evolved. Not that I'm the most evolved human being anyways but at least I KNOW when I'm being a 5th grader, that HAS to count for something. Luckily at the grocery store I didn't stare and I DID act totally normal - I'm not a bastard - but there was one hell of a circus going on inside my head.

I had my camera in my purse and wanted so bad to pull it out and snap a pic. (NO! WRONG!) I considered just asking but then remembered I don't speak spanish and that it would be beyond crazy and rude. I considered trying to be all Spy-Cool about it and pretend to just be dinking around in my purse and kinda creep it up over the side just a TAD, just enough, and then I remembered the flash. Thankyougod thankyougodOMG what would I have DONE when the flash went off? OH MY GAWWWDD. I'd die.

I need to get a midget friend, maybe if I hang out with one for a few weeks strait it'll be like Mexicans and I'll get used to them. Something, I need something.

(P.S. If there are any Midgets or Midget-family reading this I don't want any hate-mail for me typing "Midget" and not something politically correct. I'm a cracker and you're a midget - deal with it. I'm semi-racist to all groups and you're not special so calm your teensy vienna sausage ass on down. Thank You)


jenny said...

LOL!! You're so funny!! Maybe next time you could have chino "pose" and get the shot of the midget in the background?? LOL!!

Yeah, I knew some midgets, they were cool. I have to admit, I didn't know them well enough to ask how in the hell do they have sex with regualr size people? I mean that guy, mini-me?? He's at the playboy mansion ALLL the time, do the playmates really get it on with him?? I bet he gives good head.

Sgt said...

I love the Lindy anti-disclaimer at the end. Perfect!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny - I keep thinking it over but I can't for the life of me figure out why he might give good head. Girl head? Or do you mean like gay head and that he would be the perfect height? :P Do elaborate ;P

Sgt. - You are so sweet, but I just didn't want hate mail. :P

jenny said...

Sounds silly, but a midget is the perfect height to walk between a girl's legs and then chow down! Of course if he happens to be gay.. well then, that's good too.

Oh geez I can see the midget god just throwing lightning at me now. sorry sorry! LOL

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jenny - "chow down" Good lord where does that mouth come from out of this sweeter than sweet jam-jarring turtle saving woman? I love it !!! :)

jeremy said...

you didn't let him touch your food, did you? because gross.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Damnit Jeremy do you have any idea how hard it is to explain your comments to my husband? "No sweetie, he's not REALLY racist, he's just funny, like really racist funny, but not for real, like . . you know." Ah well, you still make me laugh.

Refried Dreamer said...

I said midget the other day while my kids were in the car... My 6 year old got soooo pissed off at me. "They aren't midgets, Mom. They DON'T like that." fine. what are they. "They are LITTLE people. LITTLE people. period."

Okay, my son for equal rights.... but threw a shit fit when the gay parade was out front of our shop. ???WTHell?

Nonetheless, hubby was relieved.

(If that sounded inappropriate, I apologize in advance.)

Sparx said...

Teensy vienna sausage ass?????

Upstate Broad said...

Refried is correct that most of them prefer "Little People." Personally, I find that a tad confusing, because a lot of people refer to children as little people. My best friend is a kindergarten teacher, who refers to her class as her little people. I've even heard pet owners (the freaky kind who have full wardrobes for their pets), call their furry friends little people.

Believe it or not, dwarf is technically correct and does not offend. What I've been told is that calling them midgets can be offensive because only some of them are midgets. Midgets are a specific sub-group within the all-encompassing category of dwarves. It has something to do with their limbs being in proportion to the rest of their bodies. Think of it this way: All Sicilians are Italian, but not all Italians are Sicilian. Likewise, all midgets are dwarves, but not all dwarves are midgets.

Now if it were me, I'd find dwarf more offensive. Dwarf conjures up some really silly stereotypical images. Nobody ever made a movie about Snow White and some midgets.

Sunshine said...

What store were you in? I gotta make sure not to go to that 4 yo will so call him out or say something very loudly about why is that person little or something!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Refried - Silly I think it's hilarious, you never really have to apologize for ANYTHING here. :P I love "the gays" (like my gramma called them) but my husband is the same way as I suspect yours - even though I think all mexican men are a little gay deep down. :P

Sparx - Works for me :) Wait, do they have those in Canada? Google it! :P

Upstate - I'm calling them Midgets, it's more fun that way and they can call me cracker all they want so we're even stevens. :P

And WHEW! I'm glad I only have 2 dresses, one pink animal print harness, one rainbow harness, a cheetah print collar, and 3 rinestone collars for my Chihuahua - That's not a full wardrobe and therefore I'm not a crazy person. :P (she is so NOT a person, hell she's not even qualified to be a dog)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sunshine - S-mart, and it was a lady :P Good luck!

Sunshine said... im not the only one who thinks that mexican men....have a little gay side to think that is a whole another post idea for ya...i would love to hear your opinion on this on!

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