My friend and co-worker back home made this for me about 3.5 years ago when I had my very first one and only stalker. It's an axe handle that broke off one day at work that he so smartly drilled out and filled with lead and black-taped to hide the evidence. I was complaining that the price of bats were too much for my cheap ass and this is what he came up with.
Pretty cool right? Did you guess that Frankie's a Mexican? Actually he was my best friend for the 4 years I worked there and one night when he took me to a Mexican bar he dropped me like a sack of potatoes off on some guy he said was "cool" and "safe" so he could go chat up a hor. I thought the random guy was cute and he could speak some english so it was ok, I was always rooting for Frankie to get laid.
Little did I know he dropped me right in front of my future husband. I met Chino in a bar. I find that to be so humiliating and cliche, but what can I do? Leave that part out! We tell everyone we met through a "mutual friend," which IS the truth, just minus the bar part. Gawwd.
Shit, anyways, moving on. A few weeks ago I moved my rib-crusher from our house to my car as I was a tad paranoid about the whole Mafia thing. What I failed to remember in doing so is that I cross the border twice a day and such an object might not be considered undesirable.
I never even thought about it till last week when I received a secondary inspection by U.S. Customs. Secondary is when they take you to the side and REALLY inspect and go through the nooks and crannies of your car and ask you 100 questions. Actually, for me it wasn't that bad, the 4 guys searching my car all recognized me and pretty much left me be while they did a small search. It was the last guy left that noticed my lil weapon next to the passenger seat.
I saw him pick it up and thought "Oh shit. No I didn't. Shit. Shit. CRAP." After he picked it up he just held it, blinked at it, stared at it, blinked again and put it back, never asking one question. All I could think was "No fuckin way, that dude is cool!" He told me to have a nice day, and that was that. I'm still really surprised but maybe he just "gets it." Who knows.
I didn't have another thought about it till today when I got inspected by the soldiers on the Mexican side of the border. This guy picked it up immediately and I thought "Ruh-Row." He didn't speak any English but we did ok with my lil Spanish. He held it up and stared at it a while smiling and then making motions of bashing someones head in and asked my "Why?" I was shitting so all I could do was tell the truth and said "Security!" He shook his head at me laughing, told me I didn't need it, but put it back where he found it and told me to have a good day. No jail! No confiscation!? Cool dude yo.
If someone tries to kill me I'm damn well going to try and kill them first. Fair's fair damn it.