Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Nose Strips in Mexico

You know those nose strip crazy glue doo dads that you put on your face to rip off a couple layers of skin clean your pores? My Dad is an old hermit hippie and HE'S used them so you guys must know what I'm talking about. Check out the lady over here to your right. Those things. And by - Thank You - to this lady, I found you via Google Image Search and I don't know who you are, but I looked just like you yesterday. So thanx.

I'm here to inform you in case you didn't know that they don't exactly work when the temperature is above 90 degrees with 90% humidity. 90 degrees is like a spring breeze down here in Mexico but the nose strips just don't give a damn.

I picked up a box yesterday after noticing I look like a crack-headed monster my unsavory image in the mirror. I got home with about 30 minutes to spare before I had to go and pick up C. from work and decided to start a makeover. Mmmmmmm maaakkeeeovvvverrr. In the past these strip-ee-doo's never took longer than 10 minutes to dry, but here? Huh Uh.

I ended up with no time left and still wet strips when it came to pick up C. from work and decided screw it, I'm not wasting $2, I'm gonna make the drive to his work with them on. I figured the breeze during the drive would do the trick and I could rip 'em off right before I got to C's so I wouldn't frighten his co-workers.

I'm sure I didn't look like a freak at ALL driving through the packed side streets filled with people staring at my be-decked face in all it's strip glory. You would THINK that this would be the one day that I would actually go without being whistled at from men on the street - but no, they wouldn't want to discriminate I guess. One whistle did seem to die off halfway through, maybe he had second thoughts. I kept trying to decide if I looked like I just had plastic surgery or if I looked like a burn victim but I'm still not sure. Maybe just plain freak would apply.

Anyways, the drive to his work didn't work and I couldn't bring myself to embarrass the shit out of my husband so I did suck it up and pull off the still-gooey-glue strips from my face and try to act like everything was normal.

Pregnant, married, nose strips all over my face and I'm still a hot ticket here when I drive down the street. I'm starting to think the heat does something to peoples brains here.


Sparx said...

Hey, it's not your face they're after though, let's face it... lovely though it is (nose strips and all...)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sparx - I'm so dumb I had to read your comment 4 times before I got it. I kept emphasizing the word "your" instead of "face" in my head and couldn't for the life of me figure out just WHO'S face they would be after. :PP *idiot* And thank you :) :P

On Mexican Time said...

Hahaha - I can just picture you driving now!! LOL!!

What I don't get is that in a couple of years I'll be 30, and I still get ACNE and blackheads. The only thing - I can't put on lotion here because it just sweats right off!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

On Mexican Time - FOR REAL !!!!! WHY is it that I'll be that crazy-30 in like . . . 2 years too and it's the SAME THING! Wasn't this supposed to be a teenage thing? Why do all the other adults look adult-y and I look like an idiot kid and can't leave home without concealer??? Growing up is false advertisement.

Krissie said...

I have got to move to Mexico.

Sunshine said...

It's those pregnancy hormones...and the air quality in Reynosa! Your skin will clear after the baby is born! Ohhhh sorry mommy!
Tons of water and rest! TI will get better!

Anonymous said...

Can you still get those things?! I so need to hit up the drugstore! And I'm with Sparx . . . I am sure the only way any one would notice is if you had them plastered across your chest or your ass.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - I'd love to have you :) AAAAAANNDDD the mexicans would love to have your boobs around. :P

Sunshine - lol "air quality" :P

F & F - Sure they do! They're so fun. :P

Suki said...

See, you're ALWAYS hot :D.

Suggestion from perpetually 90+ Kolkata - use soap(no, not the moisturizing face wash things) or toner or something to dry off your skin before applying the strips, maybe? Then you'll sweat anyway, so just enjoy the steam bath you're getting automatically.

I lost about 4 pounds this summer, because my room gave me 12-hour steam baths. Just saying.