Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Not Wearing Pants

Last night eating at the dinner table.

"You're not wearing any pants."

"What?"

"You're not wearing any PANTS."

"What's so deefferent? I drayz like dees all dee time at home."

(He was in lil boxers)

"Yes but you never wear a shirt with them so it just looks different, like you're HALF dressed but just not wearing pants."

"Oh." *goofy smile* What eef I go out like dees sahmtime?"

"Hell, I don't care, as long as your happy and I don't look retarded."

"Ohhhhh jeeaaahhhh? And all dee girls can see my peetoe and be like "WHHEWWWW!" "


*stare* "Tramps. You're MY husband, so I would throw a fork at their face." *points fork at him*

"Me or de Girls?"

"The girls"

"Oh."

*resume eating* Next subject. :P


Chino's family threw a surprise baby shower for me and another pregnant girl in the family this past Sunday. It really was a surprise because C. forgot all about it. Luckily his cousin called him a couple hours before to tell him what time to bring me. (I keep wanting to type (idiot) but I don't because I love him)

He told me they wanted me to come over to their house for the other girls shower and since she's a month ahead of me I didn't think much of it. When we got there I didn't have a clue, even though they pinned a gigantic pink-flower-lace-corsage-dealie-thing on my shirt. I asked why nobody else was wearing them and they told me "because they're not pregnant." I started to feel a little funny because I thought it was just HER shower and I didn't want to be taking any attention from her on her day. (who's the idiot now?)

As I was walking back over to stand by C. a stranger came up to me and handed me a gift. I said "Oh here, I'll put it on the table for her," and C. said, "No, dat's for jew." I stood there bewildered because now I was getting gifts from strangers and really taking attention away from the other girl. (lordy) C. FINALLY looked at me and nonchalantly said "Eet's your pahty too."

I back-handed him in the stomach. I didn't mean to it was just one of those crazy-girl reactions, but his family thought it was pretty funny and laughed at him so it was ok. At this point I finally realized that there were both pink and blue decorations up (she's having a boy, me a girl) and I stood there super-geek style and stared at my hands and shuffled my feet. I'm not big on attention.

The crazy part ended up being that the other girl in the family lives here away from her family too. She, like me, has no family or friends here so the invitations got a tad . . strange. There wasn't enough women in our family for a proper party so our cousin throwing it called in extended family, neighbors and her own friends. The other shower-girl and I ended up not knowing any of the people at our shower.

They actually brought us gifts and we didn't even KNOW them! I was so flipped out and feet-shuffle-y and anxiety riddled that I was barely able to stay in my own skin. I imagine the other gal and I made quite a pair - she's not married to this guy in our family that's got her pregnant, and I'm white and don't speak spanish. My God the kindness of strangers yes? The strangers in attendance were at least speaking to the other girl but they all avoided making eye-contact with me. That whole not-speaking-spanish-thing was really rearing it's head and causing some awkwardness. Nice.

BUT ! A few embarrassing party games later and things started to loosen up. Once you have to stand up in front of a room of strangers turning in a circle and have them eye you trying to guess how much length of toilet paper it will take to wrap around your belly - and then have them come up and actually wrap the toilet paper around your belly to see if they're right - thus bumping foreheads with a couple ladies and getting a boob accidentally felt up by another - you sorta have to loosen up. The boob-feel-up really made the day.

After that C.'s cousin took me back to where C. was hiding from all the women and had him translate for me - "When was your last menstruation?" That's a question I was expecting to be asked. He didn't explain till after I took a wild guess (how the hell am I supposed to remember?) that it was for a game in which they would all have to guess my due-date. "OHHhhhh. Okay."

Anyways, the night went on and we did end up having some fun. I came out of my freak out enough to realize that everything was ok and I could appreciate what they had done for me and the other girl. They know we're alone but they didn't want us to be left out of this right-of-passage part of life, so they did the best that they could for us. I've got a pretty cool family here in Mexico, I really do.

15 comments:

Sgt said...

so let me get this straight...

In Mexico, they have parties where women wrap each other in toilet paper and feel each other up?

Greatest.. place.. ever!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

AND you don't have to wear pants. I think you'd fit in just fine. :P

Upstate Broad said...

Hey, if you haven't been to parties like that here, you're just not going to the right parties! And the Big Guy's always sitting around in his boxers.

I don't know about your own family, but after as many years as I've been married, I've actually come to prefer most members of his family to most members of mine. We each have a few homophobic conservative Republicans in the family tree, but for the most part his relatives are just the coolest! Sounds like once you conquer Spanish, you might be find the same to be true.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Upstate - they are pretty damn cool - at least I THINK so - who knows what I'll learn about them when I can understand them :P

jeremy said...

i think i was in line behind all those strangers when they were buying your presents at the wal-mart.

they paid cash.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I am laughing to hard at Sgt's comment to even think of anything witty! I love that C.'s family is so embracing of you and are clearly so thrilled to have you there.

Suki said...

LMAO, I wanna move to Mexico!

I think Spanish is the ultimate sensual language, although the Boy votes for French. Ah well.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Jeremy - Well jackass, that's what you get for going to Walmart.

F&F - Isn't Sgt. Funny !? :) And yes, me too, I'm very greatful for how cool his family is to the gal from the North. :)

Suki - I think Spanish is sexy if it's spoken by a Puerto Rican. Well, sang by a Puerto Rican. Well OK, there's this Reggaetone singer - Calle 13 - and HE'S mega hot and I'm in love with the way he does his thing. Youtube - "Pa'l Norte" OR "Un beso de desayuno" OHHH lordy.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Suki - Ok I just realized that if you or anybody else actually took the time to check out those songs - you've got to stick in there for a few (20?) seconds before HE actually starts singing. MMmmmmm I wouldn't want anybody to miss out on him.

gringa_mexi said...

ok, this is toooo weird. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the guy from Calle 13 and I was watching him TODAY!!! I think we are alot alike girlie.soo freaky...
I was also thrown a surprise baby shower by my husbands sister and I almost died. I'm the solo gringa and there were like 40 mexicans at his sisters house and I was mortified! I never got that many presents at my gringa baby shower for my first son 15 years ago!! It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It's amazing how giving they are to strangers. We had our daughters Bautismo(are you ready for that huge ordeal? lol) and more than half of the same women were there. It was soooo cool. :)

Sunshine said...

Oh..i want to come!!!!!i want to do a baby shower for you! Ok..who can we invite?...lol...all the gringas....hey i like that idea!

~ellen~ said...

They're so sweet! I am so glad they love you so much. Happy shower!! :)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

gringa-mexi - OMG isn't he HOT !!???? Yowza! :P And that is so cool they did that for you too! How sweet and kind, besides the Mafia and Ladrons there are good people here. :)

Sunshine - I hope you're having fun up where you are! :)

Ellen - Yes and Yes! :) :) :)

Suki said...

Oooh, that's HAWT :D
As it is, the reggaeton groove gets me swaying no matter where I am - and I have two left feet! That voice is absolutely yummylicious!

Crystal said...

That was so sweet of them. I know what you mean, I do not like alot of attention either and I speak Spanish, really more than English. Well, I speak Spanish 85% of the time and English when I am at work or when I talk to my grandmother, aunt, etc. I am nervous about the "attention" that I will get when I am in Mexico.. needless to say I am not a public speaker.
It was sweet and thoughful of them, you know they care and were thinking of you and daisy.