Monday, November 9, 2009

Baby Angelito

I posted before about the other girl in our family here that is/was pregnant at the same time as me - the one that I shared a baby shower with. She's been a month ahead of me in gestation and this past week was her time to deliver. Thursday she went into labor, did her thing, pushed her baby out into this world and the doctor, the doctor delivering her baby, dropped him.

The doctor dropped her baby boy on his head before he even cut the chord. She heard it but couldn't see and asked panicked "Was that my baby!?" The doctor tried to lie and told her no, that it was the placenta and that the baby wasn't out yet. The placenta doesn't deliver till about 30 minutes after a baby - and did so - so she knew something had happened.

Little perfect Angelito lived for about a day and died on Friday. We had to bury him this Saturday and it, well it's just indescribable. I bawled inconsolably for about 24 hours and my poor husband was half panicked thinking I was going to stress myself into early labor. I don't know what came over me, I'm not usually so crazy emotional but I imagine it's something to do with the baby I'm carrying myself and the fact that the little boy she was going to grow up with is already gone. The other girl and I went through all of our first-time-prego-stuff together but for the life of me and as sad as I am I can't IMAGINE what this has got to be like for her. It surprises me that she's even breathing.

And people ask me why I don't just have my baby in Mexico and fix her papers later? In the U.S. if a doctor dropped a baby on it's head I imagine they would at least DO something to save it. They've got things to do and medicines to give if a brain is swelling inside the skull don't they? I know they do.

I felt like a big elephant in the room when we all gathered before the funeral. I've got a grand pregnant belly running around in front of me and we all know that I'll be delivering myself in the weeks to come. His family knows that I'll be delivering in the BEST hospital around over on the Texas side and I can't help but feel. . . not guilty, but some sort of guilt-ish emotion you know?

He was a big healthy beautiful baby boy. They had an open casket and I'll never in my life forget how he looked laying there. Never ever.

36 comments:

Upstate Broad said...

I don't know what to say. There just are no words. But I do think that if there's no way to sue the doctor, he should be hunted down and killed.

~ellen~ said...

That is so awful I seriously can't STAND it. I don't blame you for crying hysterically for hours, I'm crying right now.

Is there any way to sue the doctor or the hospital or something? That doctor shouldn't be allowed to do it again!

Sunshine said...

Oh...MAMA.....bless your heart....I'm in tears too....It's ok for you to let it all out....This is something that you'll need to work through before your baby comes....pray...let go of these feelings....focus on a healthy...positive birth outcome! We can talk if you need to!

Sandrine said...

Gringa,
It bring tears to my eyes.
Hugs.
Take care.
Sandrine

Suki said...

Oh my god.. :hug:

Please, please take leave off work or arrange for someone to drive you to Texas when you're due.

Lauren said...

I agree with Suki. Please please please!!

As for Baby Angelito..I have no words, just pure shock. I can't even imagine what his poor mother is going through. She will definitely be in my thoughts.

On Mexican Time said...

Wow - that story is so crazy it doesn't seem real... it is terrible.... We lost a baby a few years ago, and it's something you never get over, but for it to be over something that is so controlable is inconceivable. THANK GOD you are not delivering with that Dr at that hospital.That is something that you can now be rest assured you are doing the right thing. My thoughts and prayers are with you all....

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I am so very, very sorry to read about the loss of Baby Angelito. And I am so very aware of the fear and the guilt that comes with being in your situation. If you do nothing else, the next time you see his mother, ask her to tell you about her son . . . I cannot tell you how much it means to a grieving mother to know that her baby is thought of and that someone cares enough to want to hear about him. Hugs.

PuertoVallartaGirl said...

That is a huge reason why I don't want to live in Mexico anymore. I prayed for you, that God will envelope you and your family in a cloud of peace and love. God bless.

Crystal said...

OH no that is so sad. It makes me hurt for her just thinking the sadness she is feeling. All for a mistake of a Dr! There is no way in the world that the loss of a baby can be accepted by any mother, I don't know how to explain, but if it was me and that happened I would never be able to stop thinking what if he had not dropped him, what if I had went to another hospital, what if it was a day earlier or a day later. This was totally unexpected. On the other hand if a child is born sick and the dr's know that it will only be days or weeks before they go to heaven then atleast the mother knows that is what is going to happen. Either way is awful and terrible, but all her pain and suffering and lonliness for the mistake of someone else. I hope that she can sue him or put him out of business, but mexico is a totally different world! I have never heard of that happening. You make sure you are in the US when your water breaks or you have your 1st pain(not being bossy) Please tell her that I am thinking about her and praying that god helps mend her broken heart. That he brings some kind of peace to her during this tragic time. Also, I hope this "Doctor" never has the chance to hurt anyone else like this again. Mistake or no mistake if they saw their hospital could not save the baby they could have air lifted him to a US hospital. (Short story: daycare caught on fire in Mexico City and some kids were burned really bad. Life threatning if I am not mistaken they were taken to a hospital in California with their parent) I am planning on having another baby and was considering a hospital in Mexico so his family could be there. I think that this story has made my decision. Take care! sorry to be so long, but I am mad and hurt for her! Take care of yourself.

jenny said...

I'm so choked up right now. I'm so sorry for the poor little guy. Poor mama... Is there nothing she can do to sue?? Won't bring poor baby back, but maybe it will stop bad doctor from delivering any more babies.

jenny said...

BTW, I just gave my baby 5 millions kisses. I pray everything goes well for you and baby Daisy. (((Hugs to both you and poor mama)))

Refried Dreamer said...

*hug*

I'm so sorry.

*hug*

Stay positive. I'm positive that everything will go great for you and your baby. Big hugs and lots of prayers.

Margherita said...

This is so heartbreaking. unimanginable is truly the right word. I am crying too. I hope that this can somehow bring you and Angelito's mama closer together rather than farther apart.

Vadose said...

I just can't imagine. That's unbelievable. I can't imagine what that poor woman feels.

I had a terrific experience having my baby here in Guadalajara, but I feel like I had the most amazing doctor and doula team, and they're probably quite the exception down here.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling comfortable with your doctor in the US. I know you won't be able to forget this, and you shouldn't, but I hope for your sake and for little Daisy's you're able to stay positive and confident and feel safe and supported. Going into labor, please don't think about this sad tragedy, you can begin to remember it again afterwards. Instead, trust that everything will go well. It usually does. And you've got all your internet buddies rooting for you and your little baby girl. You'll be great, and pretty soon you'll be posting cute baby photos and telling us all bout her poopy diapers. :)

This is so sad - you had me in tears, but I hope this doesn't make you nervous for your own approaching labor. Stay strong, girl!

Yessica said...

WOW :( .. There are no words that can describe what happened. Does make me think that when I have my baby in Mexico. At least you know you and your baby will be in great hands.

My thoughts of with your family.

Kristi said...

That poor, poor mother. OMG, how devastating. and the DR, NO way. How could this happen? OMG. OMG. Sooooo sad, prayers to this girl and her family, prayers that you have a healthy safe delivery. omg

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Thank You gals for your prayers and thoughts and all of your comments, every last one. To those that are worried about me delivering in Mexico - no need I'll most definetly be delivering in Texas - even if I lose my passport I can always swim the river! :P

A lot of you mentioned for me not to be afraid of Daisy's coming birth and the weird part to me - is that I'm not nervous in the least. It seems like I would be but really, not even a tad. I'm confident that it's going to be fine and dandy and maybe even cool. (crazy lady!) :P

Fishsticks & Fireflies - I will do what you said, it really does sound like a good thing to do, thank you.

Ritamg said...

That is so unimaginable. My heart goes out to you and to the other family.

gringa_mexi said...

omygoodness...I am soooo sorry. what a horrible horrible thing to happen. I can not even imagine anything worse. shit, I would kill that doctor with my bare fucking hands. it is just so wrong. :(

Abby Lee Macias said...

It just depends on where you have your baby, just like in the US. Stuff happens here as well, but they have less resources in Mexico, so more of them die, we save more lives. A good private hospital is not bad. IN Mexico City there are so many, but it cost like 2000 USD to have a baby but everything paid for..It is worth it in my eyes! But I guess going to the US is easier!

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