Let's all smile today shall we?
Last night I was watching Pooper (still need to give him a name) puppy walk around and I noticed his widdle puppy penis was all red and funky looking. Before my brain could process what it was seeing all I could think was "DAMN IT! He's going to make it, I've nursed him back to health and now he has a BLOODY DICK! Damn it!"
After a couple seconds I realized I was merely seeing a dog boner. "Oh. Not bloody. . . Just a boner. A puppy Boner? Huh. Well, that's nice, he's functional I guess."
Seeing his wee-willie reminded me of something from back when I was a kid. Growing up we had male dogs and male horses that educated me sight-wise fast and early about the apparent workings of penises. I'm sure you've seen a boy dog or at least a horse or elephant on t.v. with it's inside penis protruding out in the air from it's outside penis covering. (Don't they always look so relaxed during those moments?)
Red Rocket and all that.
I remember one summer staring at our Great Dane's big red shiny dinker a hangin out and trying so hard to superimpose the same image on to the boy that lived down the road. I wondered if it hurt the boy down the road when HIS red shiny thing came out of it's outer thing and sympathized that it would be pretty sensitive a deal to be carrying around with him while he played.
I had NO idea that men were different than animals in the penile respect. For years. YEEAAARRRS. In fact I'm not sure when I realized that things were actually different but I can say for sure I was way WAY older than I'd probably like to print. In fact, oh damn it, I remember being in 5th grade when they showed us a diagram and thinking "Where's the red thing?" And when they showed us a condom, wondering "Does it come off the hairy part and onto the red thing? Or does it just go on the red thing? Is there room for it all?"
I didn't have sex but I did TOUCH a penis for the first time when I was 16 and I'm not for sure or not if I expected the red thing to come out or not. I don't imagine so but I'm not going to say that it wasn't in the back of my mind.
Now you know.
SO! For those of you out there with kids and boy-dogs you might want to somehow approach this subject. Please, before you've got a 13 year old boy wondering when his red rocket is going to pop out and before your daughter asks her first boyfriend just what is wrong with his dingle-doo because it's obviously not functioning properly.
Do your kids a favor.