Friday, November 6, 2009

Green Bay Hor

We had a former Green Bay Packer player stay here at the hoe-tel for about 5 months. I didn't KNOW he used to play for Green Bay, all I knew was that he was currently playing for the Arena-league team here and that he was a total and complete man-hor. BEYOND man hor, I'm talking dirty, dirty slutty man-type-hor with no shame at all. The most slutty sex obsessed human I'd ever met. But polite. He still hit on me on a regular basis - even after proclaiming how big I was getting prego-wise and asking repeatedly if I was SURE I wasn't having twins, but otherwise really polite (and open) about his hor-ness.

The housekeepers complained about the crazy amounts of used and unused condoms in his room plus the wide array of porn mags and DVD's he left laying around. Women came and went on a daily basis but hey, he was polite to me so whatever, what do I care? He would hit on anything that walked so I routinely warned the new girls that he would be hitting on them and if they couldn't fend of his charm to FOR GODS SAKE wrap his shit up because he was surely sporting a lab technicians nightmare of miscellaneous std's or lord knows what.

ANYWAYS - He came back to stay with us yesterday after being gone a couple of months and one of the housekeepers brought in some stuff for him to sign. She's a total football freak and informed me of his career stats and such. Green Bay? Who knew? Now days he's playing for some new football league they have, It seems like I should be impressed or something but I can't find it in me. I feel a little weird that I'm not - but damn it the man is a GIGANTIC HOR. LOL I googled him and he's also a motivational speaker. He IS very motivated *snort* I'll give him that.

This morning he came down to ask me to unlock the pool area and when I came around the counter I noticed he wasn't wearing any pants.


All I could think to say was "Darling. You're not wearing any pants." He was wearing instead some of those teensy spandex boxer brief deals so technically he was covered up, but come on, he's a gigantic muscled black man 6'4 feet tall and 325 pounds - what were those things really hiding?

He just smiled and said, "Oh, I like to wear my tights, they're comfy." And went on to ask me when it is that I'm due to have the baby.
Like I said, strange and hor-ish but, polite. I shooed him off toward the pool to soak in the Jacuzzi as quick as I could - wouldn't want to scare any children - and wished him a good day.

I couldn't believe all the things I read about him when I Googled him. All of these wonderful articles about him beating the odds coming up from the streets, making it big, all of the volunteer work he does with children, the motivational speaking and such - and yet - he's just so unbelievably DIRRRTAAYY.

I just.
Who knew?


Sparx said...

OK, I totally googled this to find out who he is... but you didn't drop enough hints!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sparx - Well duhhhhhhh :P But he can't be THAT big of a deal, I don't know ANYTHING about football but even a freak like me remembers Brett Favre - and this is definitly not Mr. Favre. Or Barry Sanders, there SEE?? I know TWO football players names :P Peyton Manning? Ok 3, look at me, you'd think I watch the sports channel. :P

Sandrine said...

Found him, OK I know too much time on my hands ;0)
Take care.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sandrine - For realz?? Nuh UH!! :P :)

Crystal said...

hey, not about the post, but I never noticed this before. on your page is that a picture of chino sitting in front of a gigantic mocajete of guacamole?? Man.. whatever that is there is alot of it!

Sunshine said... are sooo damn funny. So I drove by where you work today....I almost stopped by....but was in a hurry to get home! I'm so not stalking you but.....i thought it was super cool!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Crystal - Yes it is! LOL that was in Monterrey in one of the pulgas and it's sooooo good. We go search it out every time we're there. :P

Sunshine - Stalker, you crack me up :p