Monday, November 2, 2009

My Neighbor Uses Viagra

***** I wrote this post last week and but didn't get to post it because of the robbery post - SO - here it is a little late - a proper farewell to my old house and neighbors. ;)*******

I didn't need to know that my neighbor uses Viagra either but I had no choice in finding out so I figured I'd share with you all. Our neighbors never tie their garbage bags shut so we've got a continuous stream of odds and ends garbage that flows down the street and ends up in front of our house. Some days a plastic bag, maybe a paper cup but today I came home from work to find this box here to your right in front of my gate door.


Nice choice there neighbor, hope things worked out ok for you.


Considering I have the maturity of a 6th grader I'll not be able to talk to them anymore without having a total meltdown on the inside. (Good think I've moved because after the robbery we went to thier house to ask if they saw anything and all I could do was stare at the man and think to myself "VIAGRA OMG HE USES IT AND I'M TALKING TO HIM AND DOESN'T HE LOOK YOUNG?? VIAGRA VIAGRA VIAGRA ect - I'm a freak.) Too bad I'm not cranky about the garbage situation - this would have been a GREAT opportunity to knock on their door to return their garbage and inform them that they might want to tie their bags better and to remind them that they need to go to a doctor if an erection lasts for longer than 4 hours.

Don't take me the wrong way about any of this Viagra business - I'm 100% in favor of men using it if it helps them - BY ALL MEANS please your women! (Or parter ;) ) It's just it has something to do with the S-E-X and therefore I'm incapable of not joking around.


I'm pretty sure I'd be worrying if I had a boner for more than TWO hours. Well, no, considering I'm a girl I'd be freaked out over any type of boner I guess, but never mind. Do you think if a man called after a 3 hour woodie that the doctor would tell him to wait another hour and see if it goes away? What is this magical 4 hour mark?


I'm not Googling it, I've got a feeling that wouldn't end up a productive search. Lesson of the day? Tie up your damn garbage or the crazy girl next door will tell the entire world about yo bid-ness.

9 comments:

Refried Dreamer said...

haha. we found out in a similar matter that we have a male whore house in between the tattoo shop and our sex shop. The trash bag wasn't tied up and was strewn throughout the sidewalk. When our guy went to sweep the front, he found a little more than he wanted to. He pounded on their door and refused to clean up mounds of dirty, used condoms and all their shit to do coke.

Awwwwwwwwkwaaaaaard!

You could have taped the box to their door as a discreet n friendly reminder. ;) I'm sure they'd appreciate your attention to the cleanliness of your community!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Refried - AAAHHHHHHHHH tape it to their door - squeeeeeeeee!!!! :P
So. Tatoo's whore's and sex toys?? Sounds like a fun street to me! :P

Sunshine said...

You know...yalll...galls...ONLY...ONLY......In Mexico...there is something special about us ladies who live here...we gotta...we must...have a sense of humor...cause if we didnt...man...our blogs would be no GOOD! Bawhhhhhhhhahahhahh
Love yall

Sparx said...

Oh I love you so much, you are SUCH a child. I'd have told all the neighbours in a second.

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

that is SO FUNNY, well i anit never found nohting crazy like that YET!!!!

Krissyface said...

Did he have a boner when you were talking to him? I bet he totally did.

Mama of 4 said...

hahahahah.......... I too am immature and would totally make funny faces to my hubby if we were standing in front of your neighbor ;)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sunshine - LOL we def. have the capability to be some depressing ass writers :P But NO! We're opitimists damn it! :)

Sparx - OMG If I actually KNEW any of the neighbours, like I was friends with any of them - I totally would have squealed.

Kelly - Just wait, your day is coming :)

K-face - LMAO - no - BUT he is a TOTALL hands-in-pockets-at-all-times guy. Do they not know it looks weird??

Mama - AHHHHHH that would be fun but it would backfire - my husband wouldn't remember and would just blurt out "Are you ok???" in front of them. And then I would have to say that I have gas. And then the neighbors would think I'M the freak. :P

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