After giving birth I've decided that I'm a virgin again.
Honestly though, it's been so long without doing it - over a full month even before giving birth per doctor instructions - and now, 3.5 weeks later with things down there still being strange and sore and generally busted, I've got the same kind of fear I felt about sex way back when before I ever experienced it.
Just like a virgin I don't know myself down there, it's a strange and uncharted territory once again. Just like a virgin I'm once again afraid it's going to hurt when I "do it" and just like a virgin I'm not even sure when will be a good time to go for it.
Hell, I've even got the over-eager-teenage-like man to go along with the whole experience yet.
"Can we do it yet?"
"Are you ready?"
"Can I touch it??"
"Are you ready now?"
And even at 3rd base he's gone all fumbly and retarded like way-back-when and seems to have forgotten where things are located. It's not been THAT long so I don't know what that's all about but he better figure my shit out before he gets back in my pants.
AHAHAHHAHAHA Gross TMI coming your way (men, skip this part) - Like a virgin I'm even afraid to wear TAMPONS.
Lord help me. Well, no, help my Vagina.
I'm pretty surprised about just how long it's taking things down there to calm down and slow up on the hurting. That's retarded because just LOOK at what came out of there, but I'm sort of in denial about that, hence the surprise. (omg what a pigglet!)
Will it be like this if he knocks me up again and I give birth again? Will I be a virgin every time or is this it? WHY am I considering that he might ever knock me up again? Being a virgin and choosing abstinence IS the only sure fire way of not getting pregnant - the public service announcements tell me so - and I'm thinking there might be something to that whole deal.
Riiiggghhhhhtt. Once a tramp always a tramp but at least I'm a tramp that will be buying extra condoms in the future and won't be running off all helter skelter and doing it without birth control. I might be a virgin again but I posses a newly wise vagina.