Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Shrinkage? Lady Part Shrinkage??

Ummm..... This is not a post that either of my Dad's should be reading so if you're one of my Dad's, please wait till another day. Mom and Step Mom? You may proceed but. . be warned this is a Vagina Post.

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I think my lady parts have shrunk. The Lady Labia of all things. Does this happen? Doesn't it seem like I would have noticed this some time in the past month?

The sad part is it wasn't even me that figured it out! My husband was (mom and step mom I hope you've dropped out reading by now) down there getting to know her once again and actually had to tell me. Well, more like "Where deed jyour leeps go?"

"Say What?"

I thought Geeeez it's not been that long right? Can he really be SO out of practice???

"Let me see."

"Huh."

"Oh no shit! Where did my stuff go??!"

"For real when did this happen?!"

"I don't know, jew don't let me see anything forever."

"Don't you think I'd NOTICE??"

*silence*

Poor man. Anyways this was totally unexpected. Do they come back? When I was younger and insecure I actually dreamed about a lady part reduction but after seeing labia extender weights in a dirty adult shop (you google it for the pic cuz I'm not gonna) I started to get kind of proud of my stuff. After meeting my husband and seeing his obvious approval I never had a second thought - and NOW all of a sudden they've half disappeared! What the HELL?

I want my shit back you stupid horomones!

It's horomones right?

What the hell pregnancy, just. . . what the hell.

8 comments:

Blogget Jones said...

Afraid I'm useless on this one.... I had a c-section, so nothing in the nether-regions got disturbed!

Sure how this rights itself soon....

:o/ BJ

Vadose said...

Gringa - you're not alone. Yeah, doesn't having a kid kind of just mess with your whole body? In sundry and unexpected ways. I could write you a long list of what got bigger, longer, darker and what got smaller, flatter and drier. Ha! Sorry. I'm beginning to understand that women do give up a lot to become moms, apparently your impressive labia are a part of that list. I'm only a few months ahead of you in this game, so I can't tell you what might or might not revert to normal. Sometimes I feel a little cheated by this whole mommyhood thing. It's really hard, especially without help or other mommy support. Luckily for me my baby has some kind of sensor of when I'm about to lose it, and that's when he stops crying, gives me his most charming smile, and then finally falls asleep (probably for only 20 or 30 minutes, but I take whatever I can get). I'm sorry to hear of the reduction. But remember, size isn't everything.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Blogget - LOL just because you had a c-section doesn't mean you didn't have a baby and go through all sorts of horomonal changes! Don't short change yourself :P But nothing different huh? Huh, who knows.

Vadose - The whole motherhood thing is hard as hell right? OK and HAHHAHA "size isn't everything" gufaawwwww :P

Sunshine said...

OMG...i need to take a look at mine...maybe thats why i dont get downtown visits any more...shit...shit...shit!

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Regina here, for ExpatWomen.com.

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Sgt said...

If I had to venture an educated guess (you know.. being a seasoned explorer of the nether regions) I would say what happened was that as your began pulling itself back together, it probably pulled "your lady flower" a bit more inside.

Just think of it like those little rubber head stress toys. The baby coming out is like squeezing the toy. Everything gets stretched, then ones that pressure is gone, it starts shrinking back down pulling with it everything that protruded.

I suppose if you preferred it the other way, I'm sorry. Just think... some women pay lots of money for a labiaplasty. Yours was free... so to speak.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Sgt - gag, that just brings to mind a pucker mouth old person with no teeth.

Sorry, but huh, you could be right! I keep wanting to google it but. . well no. :P

Sparx said...

Either what SGT said or perhaps the area around it (what my friend likes to refer to as the 'hairy area' or, when she's worried about her age her 'snowy owl') is a little swollen? That would kinda shrink 'em maybe...