Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Farmville: The New Afrodisiac

Tonight at the hoe-tell around 12a.m. I had a drunk guy stroll in the doors and ask me for directions. He stunk to high heavens but seemed docile enough so I didn't freak out too quick. Like a lot of drunks though he decided that he needed to tell my why he was drinking, where he was going and of course, part of his life story.
It turned out that Mr. Drunk claimed to be a drug enforcement officer currently working undercover up in a big city north of here, had a few drinks last night and decided that he needed to get home. BUT he was so drunk he couldn't figure out how the roads worked anymore and therefore needed my assistance in finding the highway.


I tried to get him off the road by telling him that there are tons and tons of police on this particular road and the highway that he's heading to and that I'd get him a good deal here at the hoe-tell but he started to freak out and beg me over and over saying "Please! Please just help me find the road, I'll pay you, here I'll give you a tip, just please help me get not lost." He then proceded to whip out a couple inches worth wad of cash that made me wonder if Mr. Drug enforcement officer hadn't gone a tad astray and started flinging cash at me.

I'm all for a tip now and then but when a dude with $1000 in cash is drunk and freaking out and throwing money at me it gets a bit weird. I kept pushing the money back to him and repeated the ONE TURN directions that would take him to where he needed to go over and over until he calmed down and started listening.

After repeating the directions to him about 25 times and assuring him that "Sure, yeah, I understand that everybody needs to drink once in a while." he FINALY looked like he was going to head for the door.

And then he hit me with the question of the night. Out of the blue - "Do you have a Facebook?"


Uhhhhmmm. Well yes, yes I do have a facebook and considering his drunk and ever increasingly nice attitude toward me I figured it'd be best to say "Yes" to facebook and avoid him asking for my number or god knows what else. Mr. Brilliant then proceeded to give me his FULL NAME and asked me to please please look him up on facebook. "You know, just as FRIENDS." The best part of the evening was this though -

"I have Farmville, I have Petville, I have Mafia wars!" "Look me up and I can be your friend and if you need a neighbor or anything I can be it!" "Seriously, My name is ...."

I just. I don't. Huh?

Drug enforcement officer comes in drunk off his ass admitting that he was going to go out and drive some more, gave me his full name, waved around an insanely suspicious wad of cash and then tried to hor himself out to me by luring me in with Farmville.

What a night.

And P.S. ? I totally ended up taking $10, come on, I'm not a saint.


Mama of 4 said...

hahaha...I LOVE Farmville! Your too nice, I would have taken the wad ;)

Ritamg said...

You lead a more interesting life or I am just too unimaginative to come up with better material for my blog. BTW, did you ask him if he was single? If so, send him my way. I need a hot date. Unless you want him for yourself.

Anonymous said...

WHAT? I so would have taken the wad of cash. He sounds like a stand-up guy.

Farmville is evil. I got so addicted I starting playing during part of my lunch hour.

I finally quit a few months ago when I realized I hadn't accomplished anything. I was just clicking on things to earn more money, which I would subsequently use to buy more things to click on.

Sunshine said...

Ok, so me and hubs think you should of taken more than just $10...girl he probably wont even remember coming in their and talking to next take more than $10. Ritamg....yeah and with that wad of'd have a good time. I bet he was single...hey gringa...shoot ms. ritagm his name and she can pretend she was you....bawhaaaaa..and you know what the funny thing would be....he wouldnt even remember....hahaha! ps..i would so be goggling his were not ALL!!!!

Yessica said...

LMAO I agree I would of taken more than 10 dollars you do have a extra mouth to feed. So forget about being a saint LOL..... Next time ;)

So do you have farmville? LOL I did but then I got sooooo bored. (I know it is said to admit too)

PuertoVallartaGirl said...

I didn't realize you were back to work. I need to catch up.

Upstate Broad said...

BWAAAAAHAAAAAHAAA! Saint Gringa! The very thought!! hehehehehe! I gotta run or I'm gonna pee myself from laughing!

Nancy said...

I didn't know you had to work nights; that sucks.

That picture of you and your doll baby on the upper left is great. She is just beautiful!

Sgt said...

I would have said it was:
$10 for directions
$20 for your facebook name
$30 for your real facebook name
$50 to pretend your friends and play farmers together.
$100 to not turn your crocked drunk arse in!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

You guys crack me up! LOL I can't set Rita up with a crooked drunk cop! :P !!

And no, no Farmville for me because I was sickly addicted to that Fish Tycoon came a couple of years ago and ended up like
Gringation where I had bought everything in the game and was just earning money for the hell of it, so sad. :D

And no, no saints here, dat be fo sho.

And dag gum you all are a greedy bunch! LOL I'll keep it in mind for next time ;)

Crystal said...

Are you having to work the night shift now? I bet you will get alot of strange people

Crystal said...

Are you having to work the night shift now? I bet you will get alot of strange people

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Crystal - You better believe it!