It turned out that Mr. Drunk claimed to be a drug enforcement officer currently working undercover up in a big city north of here, had a few drinks last night and decided that he needed to get home. BUT he was so drunk he couldn't figure out how the roads worked anymore and therefore needed my assistance in finding the highway.
I tried to get him off the road by telling him that there are tons and tons of police on this particular road and the highway that he's heading to and that I'd get him a good deal here at the hoe-tell but he started to freak out and beg me over and over saying "Please! Please just help me find the road, I'll pay you, here I'll give you a tip, just please help me get not lost." He then proceded to whip out a couple inches worth wad of cash that made me wonder if Mr. Drug enforcement officer hadn't gone a tad astray and started flinging cash at me.
I'm all for a tip now and then but when a dude with $1000 in cash is drunk and freaking out and throwing money at me it gets a bit weird. I kept pushing the money back to him and repeated the ONE TURN directions that would take him to where he needed to go over and over until he calmed down and started listening.
After repeating the directions to him about 25 times and assuring him that "Sure, yeah, I understand that everybody needs to drink once in a while." he FINALY looked like he was going to head for the door.
And then he hit me with the question of the night. Out of the blue - "Do you have a Facebook?"
Uhhhhmmm. Well yes, yes I do have a facebook and considering his drunk and ever increasingly nice attitude toward me I figured it'd be best to say "Yes" to facebook and avoid him asking for my number or god knows what else. Mr. Brilliant then proceeded to give me his FULL NAME and asked me to please please look him up on facebook. "You know, just as FRIENDS." The best part of the evening was this though -
"I have Farmville, I have Petville, I have Mafia wars!" "Look me up and I can be your friend and if you need a neighbor or anything I can be it!" "Seriously, My name is ...."
I just. I don't. Huh?
Drug enforcement officer comes in drunk off his ass admitting that he was going to go out and drive some more, gave me his full name, waved around an insanely suspicious wad of cash and then tried to hor himself out to me by luring me in with Farmville.
What a night.
And P.S. ? I totally ended up taking $10, come on, I'm not a saint.