Saturday, February 20, 2010

Product Review: Bengay in the Bedroom??

I bought KY's Yours and Mine lubes for Valentines Day. Ahh, lube for V-Day, I'm quite the romantic ya know?

Anyhoo, I figured you all have seen the commercials and might be curious about it like I was so here's the inside scoop.

It was. . . OK.

Bastard cool ass commercials, they roped me in like the consumer cattle that I am and I was expecting something DIFFERENT and exciting and that it would be unlike other lubes that I've tried in the past. (I'm a bit of a dirty sex-store product fanatic.) But no, not so much different than anything I've ever run across.

The HIS lube is the standard warming gel that when applied to the skin gets all warm and . . . well I don't know, it just get's warm, that's about it. I will say that the KY actually stayed warm for a while which was nice, as most warming gels peeter out after about 30 seconds or so.

The HERS lube was the standard cooling gel and felt honestly like I had somehow smeared liquid ice cube all over my girlie stuff. It too had some serious lasting power, so if you're into the arctic vagina feel, you're gonna love this shit. I DID actually think to myself at one point "Gee this might be nice in the summer time when it's really hot out." Honestly though if you've got time to think "Gee..." thoughts while preparing to get it on, the product can't be all that exciting.

I was still holding out hope for when we "combined" products *cough cough* you know, insterted tab A into slob B, that something magical would happen, but . . . well? It honest to gawd felt like we were a couple of geriatrics-gone-wild and used Icy-Hot for some sex lube. Dear lord this stuff even has the same minty smell as Icy-Hot and Bengay and I once again found myself thinking during sex "Oh. My. God. We smell like old people and my Vagina can't make up it's mind WHAT is going on. Icy. Hot. Icy. Hot. Do I like this? Is this somehow exciting?" DO old people in old-people-homes get it on in secret and use icy hot as a sort of black-market old-folk-home lube? You know, like how desperate drunks will drink vanilla extract? That would be sad. If you have grandparents you should buy them some lube.

Moving on. It doesn't HURT anything but it didn't enhance the experience one bit. If anything it was distracting and I think I'm fine to do without it. PLUS, KY lube is forever LAME becuase it's water based and stupid and the slippery power never lasts more than a couple of minutes before it wears off and starts to feel grainy. I've said it before and I'll keep preaching until all bedrooms own a bottle - Astroglide is the best lube EVER. No, Astroglide isn't water based or "condom safe" but shit, who has sex long enough for the lube to start breaking down the condoms rubber? Not us bitches and we have some good sex damn it.

SO! There you go. Everybody's different so if your lady parts or you man parts get all freaked out and jazzed up over warming or cooling or the mixed Icy-Hot feel then shit and damn go out and buy this stuff cuz you'll LOVE it, but for me, nahh.

16 comments:

Suki said...

ROFL! I don't get "his n hers" lubes to begin with - they're gonna mix anyway!

That said, KY jelly sorta sucks. But that's all I've been able to find here :(

Nancy said...

I hope that was supposed to say "Slot B", LOL. Anyway, once again thank you for my morning laugh. I love reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

The review made my day! Also, thanks for the review. I saved money.

Having wound up with it on my scrotum, I'm not sure if Icy Hot is the way to go for lube. I'll stick with silicone based or Crisco.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I am not sure if I am laughing harder at your review or at Anonymous' comment - Crisco?! Sex should never smell like fried chicken.

And thank you for the review. Hubby always shows a bit more interest when the commercial for this comes on - I will let him know that he should save his money! (Not that he would be getting to use the stuff anyway.)

Refried Dreamer said...

haha... well, as a fellow "investor" I would agree that KY sucks. I think WET came out with a similar product... and it's not doing so well. They tried to combined two great products into one. Try Sexual Accelerator Gel by Cal. Exotics. Its a gel you put on 10 min. before hand, (icy feeling)and it's supposed to make you more sensitive. The "Hot" stuff is supposed to help hubby do the dirty a little bit faster.... but like you said, it's for geriatrics. Have him tie a rubber band around the package and handle your business... Accompany with some silicone lube and you can literally go at it for hours.... assuming baby doesn't need to be fed.

Ritamg said...

HIL-LARRY-US! I think my favorite part was Insert Tab A into SloB B. Was that a faux paus or did you mean to say that?

Sparx said...

I'm not sure what's got me laughing more... you thinking 'this might be nice in the summer time...' or me logging in to read about Daisy and suddenly finding you writing about lubes. Ah the good old days. And you are NOT a slob, my dear, I'm certain of it... slob b LOL

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Oh hell, now that you all busted me out on the "slob" typo I can't go back and change it. LOL right? Gaahhh! :P

Suki - listen to mama Lindy and order some Astroglide of the Internets, you won't be dissapointed :)

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jeremy said...

you sure that was really ky, and that you didn't accidentally buy some knock-off at that mexican drug store?

i know how the mexicans love their knock-offs. i've been to the flea market.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Anon - uhhhhh, I think you got the wrong blog, but hey, if you need advice on lubes I'm toally here for you.

Jeremy - No, it's not like my purse or my medications or diapers or well, everything else, it was the real deal :P

PuertoVallartaGirl said...

I just want to say, I bought something ultimately for my husband at one of those ladies parties for valentines too. #1 It came a week late and missed valentines. It was a way over priced muscle relaxer - for the back end regions.... and it does not work either. Can you believe they charged me $28 dollars. I'll never go to another one of those parties.... I like the sex toy store much better. I guess I am like you, I rarely fall for marketing and slogans but this one had my hopes up. well for my husbands sake.

Upstate Broad said...

Okay, I don't have a great sense of smell, but I never noticed an odor at all. After reading your post, of course I had to go open up the bottles and check it out directly, and yes, the pinkish-purplish bottle does indeed have a sort of menthol smell which I had never noticed during use. And the sensation has never struck me as cold, just as a mild warming. But when it "mixes" with the "His" lube, it gets a LOT warmer! All I can add is that, at 49 years old it's been many years since I have had the urge to turn to the Big Guy and ask "Feel like going again?" but that's exactly what happens when we use this stuff!! Now, if I could just get him to cooperate...

On Mexican Time said...

lmao - hahahaha - i love you! Hahaha, I also love how Refried was able to assist and be of assistance!! Who knew when I started blogging I'd get so much information in one place! LOL!! Thanks ladies!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

P.V.G. - Ahh a kindred spirit, dirty love potions for Valentines. :D Who needs love poems anyway? And awwww sorry that didn't work out too well, and well, sorta EXTRA sorry because that region can get all the help it needs!

Upstate - Well I am GLAD to hear that it works well for some folks! Everybody's stuff works different and I'm happy it does good for you! :) Now we just gotta slip some viagra in hubby's dinner and call it good :D

O.M.T. - Isn't it great!? Refried is the ultimate sex-knowlege cool chick and blogging is just so wonderful I can't live without it :)

Karen said...

Been out of the blog world for a few and come back to this, jejeje. I got some of this very expensive nothing too. And all we felt was a slight warming, not even as much as their regular "warming" gel. I didn't even get any really cool feeling, just a tiny little bit for a minute or two. I have had the bottles for 3 years now and we only used it the one, boring and distracted (i was watching for sensations), time. The bottles are kind of cute though, maybe I will start some plant cuttings in them soon.