Not that I had really planned on it but you know, just in case.
The other day driving home from work I took a new route and passed one of those lawn ornament store places here on the Mexico side and saw this Jesus standing out on the sidewalk as the store mascot.
What you can't see in THIS picture though were the two men standing in front of cee-ment Jesus at the time I drove by. One of the men was standing and staring into cement Jesus' face (about 5 inches away) as if it held answers to some pretty important questions he had going through his mind. Either that or he was pissed, getting up in cement Jesus' face and was about to punch him out - one of the two, but for the sake of his hand let's hope for the former.
The other man though - holy crap - he was standing of to cement Jesus' left side and was pleading with cement Jesus - I'm not sure for what - but he was pleading intensely placing his hand on cement Jesus' arm and started praying. Then to my horrified surprise he started getting REALLY into it and started pounding on cement Jesus reeeaaaallyy trying to get his point across. He was obviously having quite a spiritual breakdown moment and I felt for the guy but crap-on-a-cracker yo, he was in the middle of an intersection beating up a cement Jesus!
I wanted to take a picture but figured I might get a strait-to-hell pass for that and waited till the next day when nobody else was around.
Does anybody else think that cement Jesus looks a LOT like a Disney Cartoon?? I mean really if you're going to do JESUS couldn't you at least try and make it look believable? Not that it apparently matters to folks in Mexico - they were truly diggin cement Jesus - but it bothers me.
Another reason that I could never personally have a cement Jesus in my yard is the fact that when I had access to my neighbors Christmas lawn-deer she might have woke up more than a few times to see them in some.... interesting positions. Add in a candy cane yard ornament and things really turned out dirty - good thing she was a cool neighbor with a great sense of humor.
for the sake of not going to hell it would be a good thing for me to not buy a cement Jesus and a Cement Mother Mary. I'm not looking to tempt myself into the ultimate sacrilege and have the neighbors burn down my house. The stripper boots on the cross was bad enough, I need to be careful. (Side note about that - My Husband says he didn't put them on the cross and that he thought I did it! So now we have no idea how they got on there -weeeeiiirrdd! And p.s. they're back in the house now and the cross is de-defiled.)
I'd have poor cement Jesus in a dress and holding a beer can so fast that God would have to work quick to send that bolt of lightning out of the sky to fry my butt. And I LIKE Jesus, it's just that I wouldn't be able to help myself. There's just something about screwing with inanimate objects on display that trips my trigger, Lord only knows why. Nothing is immune, stuffed animals, little statues and even my refrigerator ornaments, always ending up in compromising positions and situations that prove that I'm a demented pervert.
Nope, no lawn ornaments for me. How sad.