Sunday, May 2, 2010

Pitbull Molested By Poodle

I woke up the other morning to see the neighbors poodle outside of our fence whimpering and pacing back and forth. My dog Pooper the Pit bull went up to the fence to make nice and they seemed to be hitting it off quite well. Every time Pooper would walk away the Poodle would stand on his hind legs like in the picture and wave his two front paws up and down in the air - it was adorable!!

Fast forward a half hour and I looked outside my window to see THIS. The little bastard actually squeeeezed it's way through the top half of the bars and came on over to make a bitch out of my dog!

Poor Pooper, he thought that the Poodle wanted to PLAY with him and kept trying to get something going but the Poodle had a SERIOUSLY one point objective.

For a while I thought the poodle was an in heat girl poodle that was a tad confused about how this process is supposed to work, and watched curiously to see if Poop would try and get on the bandwagon himself. After a few minutes though I notice - the Poodle had a DOODLE!

I had a queer Poodle trying to rape my poor baby Pit Bull!! I have nothing wrong with homosexuality - what ever floats your boat is FINE by me - but breaking and entering, then forcing oneself upon an Innocent is no good for any gender preference!

Look at my poor baby! By this point he was heartbroken that his new friend wouldn't play with him so he just gave up, sat down and let it happen.

Or, maybe he was smart and was hiding his cornhole, I don't know.

It didn't take me long to shoo out Mr. Doodles and unfortunately it took Mr. Humpity D. even LESS time to come strait back through my bars for another round.

I chased his ass out about 4 different times before I finally had to use the hose. If all else fails, hose 'em down.

LOOK AT HIS FACE!! Isn't that the saddest look you've ever seen on a Pit Bull??? He looks ashamed and used. Poor baby boy, Mama got rid of that ole hor.

Truthfully I'm not sure what the whole episode was about, we've lived here for like 5 months now and the Gay Poodle has never flown his freak flag before so I don't know what triggered this episode.

Perhaps there was a bitch in heat near by and his lil nose couldn't differentiate? OR maybe he was experimenting with long pent up homoerotic urges?? Shit if I know but he better not rape my dog anymore or I'll be forced to go to the neighbors and use my limited Spanish to bitch at them.

This is the best I can come up with with my limited vocab - I'll translate it to English - "Your dog in my yard. Inside my fence. Wants sex from my dog. Both are boys. My dog no want sex. Your dog is gay. Please no more."

It's the best I can do because Chino won't help me, he's embarrassed for some reason, I don't get it.


Krissie said...

Someone needs to teach that poodle that a no means no.

That, or teach your bloody pit bull to defend himself, for chrissake! (Perhaps hang a pepper spray on his collar?)

On Mexican Time said...

OMG - hahaha, and you still had time to grab the camera, classic!

Your poor pitbull, seriously though? What was with that fucking poodle??? He seriously wanted a piece of that to jump through the fence, how many times??!!!

Your'e lucky when you hosed them down the poodle doodle left!!! Usually when "doing it" they get all jammed up and nothing will break them apart!!

Ritamg said...

That ain't no pitbull you got. It's a Siberian Potlicker. The look on Pooper's face??? LMAO

Sgt said...

The poodles done a bit of time. It seen your dog behind bars and had some flashbacks. Don't worry, none of the other dogs will bother your pitbull now. He's protected.

Larry Prater said...

Your dog is so cute, I don't blame the poodle.

Anonymous said...

My girl poodles occasionally hump eachother. More often when one is in heat. Not sure what they're trying to accomplish, but it's very embarrassing in front of company haha.

Poor Pooper! :(

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - you'd think he'd be on the protection ban wagon being a pit and all. But lol now you know why I'm not afraid to have him with Daisy :D Maybe I should rename him "Pansy"

OMT - LOL OMG they didn't "hooked"!! That' would be horrible!! Can you imagine!??? OH MY GAWWWWDDD!!

Rita - fo SHO!! LOL~!!

Sgt. - You hor he's protected by a POODLE???? Damn it! :D At least he could have been propositioned by a German Shep or something - sheesh.

Larry - bwwaaahahahah you crazy man! :)

Gringa - My mom says when you have more than one dog in the home and they hump each other for no reason it's a dominance thing - but this was just weird. :D

Nancy said...

You are a fabulous storyteller! I was laughing out loud and then had to forward the link to all my pals with dogs.

Thanks for a laugh.

Sparx said...

Bahahahaa!! Not sure what's funnier here "protecting his cornhole" or the look on his face!

OK, so it's pretty much ascertained that homosexuality exists in the animal kingdom so perhaps the poodle is gay, however it probably is either a dominance thing or a bitch in heat elsewhere.

But gal, really, I know why you posted this. You just want more people to find your blog because they've googled 'doing it doggy style'...

Kellysmakeupandmore said...

this is something new for me ive never seen nothing like that!
poor little boy!

twistedsoda said...

too funny! Dogs are strange creatures. Actually I met a few men that would virtually hump anything that moved too. At least your pooch knew when to sit this one out! Hysterical!!!

Susan said...

Your poor puppy....He'll end up in therapy!

Sassy Blondie said...

The fact that you named that poor dog "Pooper" is enough to make him the neighborhood bitch....I'm just sayin'

Crystal said...

Instead of coming out of the closet that poodle was coming through the fence. I never knew dogs were gay.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Nancy - awesome, thank you! :)

Sparx - omg I'm way to afraid to even look at my sitemeter searches any more! :DDD

Kelly - learn something new every day! :)

twisted - lol poor boy, he was heartbroken :D

Susan - LOL! Doggy thearapy. RROOFF! How does that make you feel?? ROOFF!

Sassy - Dear heaven you're back from the DEAD! AND lol geeewwww RIGHT??? I mean... Pooper, poop hole, cornhole, poor boy! Luckily the Mexican dogs don't understand English, maybe the poodle is billingual. ;D

Crystal - maybe he was having a confused moment, you know, questioning his sexuality and stuff :D

The Blog Whore said...

Hilarious. Came here via 15 minute lunch. It seems so many have given up on blogging, at least the ones I used to read... You have a very entertaining take on things and for sure I'll be back.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Blog Whore - Love your name btw :D And I know what you mean, I've had so many come and go, stop writing all together or go so far between it's not worth it anymore. I SOOO hope J.V. never goes that way! :) And Thank You! :)

The Blog Whore said...

Thanks :)

I also have a pitbull, he's 11 now... I rescued from a fighting ring. They were grooming him for it at only 4 months old! He's the best dog ever. When he goes, I will totally get another. I feel "safe" with him on guard. No one knows he is a total wuss.

I simply love JV, been reading him for years now.

Keep on keepin' on and I'll be stopping by ;)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Blog Whore - LOL mine is a COMPLETE baby as well! We got him to be a guard dog but all he does is hang through the fence and lick anyone willing to come near - the whole neighborhood knows about him! :D It's wonderful that you were able to rescue yours - truly :)

The Blog Whore said...

I hear that! Mine looks and sounds threatening when someone is at the door but once we allow them in he is their best friend, lol. However, I think he would act differently if anyone meant us or our kids any harm. Very protective of the little ones.

He also still chases his tail at his ripe old age. Gotta love it.