Sunday, April 18, 2010

Poop Swimming

When I arrived to work last night I was surprised to see that the first floor of the hoe-tell-all was a couple inches deeper in water - pooey water - than when I had left the day before. Surprise much???

I guess the overload of water from the flash flood killed the sewage plant or system or SOMETHING but whatever the case, houses and businesses all over the city were surprised by having any availiable route in their building leading to the sewer - floor drains, sinks or toilets, suddenly become fountains of poo water. RAW poo water - honest to god there were toilet paper squares floating around!

It was my new managers first day - previously he worked there as a front desk clerk like me for 7 months - and by 11p.m. the owner and everyone else had gone home for the night and left him to figure everything out.

We did our best to re-route guests, take complaints and even start cleaning the lobby floor up (or at least
I was cleaning) so that the second and third floor die-hard guests that wouldn't leave would be able to get out of the place in the morning without wading through poo.

I armed myself with garbage bag covered socks inside my shoes, ( my shoes were gonners from the get go) a rubber water pusher thingie and set to it. The flood specialist people wouldn't come till the next day and nobody actually TOLD me to clean but. . . well there was nothing else to do and I was bored and thought it would be good exercise. Plus, my friend (the new manager) was busy having a heart attack about everything and I figured it would calm him down to know that we wouldn't have to CARRY people out in the morning.

Would you ever believe it though we still had walk in guests coming in - walking over poo watered floors - and asking to rent rooms? Not people who had reservations or flooded houses or anything, I'm talking the after 2a.m. crowd. We had at least 6 different couples come in not deterred in the LEAST by the poo fest and were all pissed that we had to turn them away! "But don't you have rooms on the second and third floors??" "Don't you have ANY rooms?" "Well it doesn't smell UP stairs does it?" "We can't STAY???" These questions were after we told them that the hotel ACROSS THE STREET had clean floors and vacancies!

People never cease to amaze me, I love it.

(We did end up letting one couple stay at about 3:30a.m. but only because they were so drunk we didn't want to send them back out on the road.)

Anyhoo, around 6:30 a.m. one of the housekeepers showed up and started helping me shoo poo water out the door and I was really getting into it - when it happened.

I've mentioned that I'm clumsy before yes?


I fell.

I fell flat out on my entire side - FACE included - onto the poo water floor.

*crickets* *chirp chirp*

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OMFG I FELL IN SEWER WATER!! BWAAAAAAAA! OMG it still cracks me up! Of all the people I should have known better. I DID know better! I even told my boss at the beginning of the night that I'd most likely fall. After I wiped my face off - I didn't fall on a turd or anything really, just turd water at this point, I clocked out and told my boss I'd be off to take a shower. I was laughing about it but for some reason the others (the next shift girl had shown up and the housekeeper was still there) were hushed in apparent horror.

I tried to let them know it was ok, I wasn't hurt or anything and we had the floor a lot clean up by that point, mostly just clear water from the rain where I had fallen, and that they could laugh - but no dice. I said - "It's funny!" To which my manager replied by leaning forward and honest to god whispering - "It's sewer." to me.

Perhaps he thought I'd forgotten?

LOL the housekeeper went back to work and pretended I was gone and the front desk girl just kept asking me if I was going to be ok and was trying quite successfuly in her horror to bulge her eye's out like a gold fish.

Shit happens yo. I guess I'm not easily phased? Who knows but I would have laughed at their asses - or at least WITH them if they had the sense to find the humor in it!


Ah well, I'm showered and haven't grown any third legs or sprouted a staph infection yet so all's well that ends well.

Happy Poo'ing.


Upstate Broad said...

Yeah, I'm always amazed by people who can't find humor in these situations. I mean, we all do it, let's not behave like it's some ugly secret they've been keeping from the world. And I find those same people tend to be the same way about sex. I've gotta assume that they've never pooped in the woods and wiped their butts on a leaf. Or had sex there, either. You and I grew up country, kiddo, we think different.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! ROFLMAO!! STILL!!! I mean it, I can barely type I'm laughing so hard. You have to remember you are in a whole other relm than back woods Michigan!! If I was there I would have laughed then realized I was supposed to ask if you were okay, then started to laugh again. I will laugh with you now, since I can't seem to stop. Others reading this may think I'm heartless, but hey what is Family for other thatn to laugh at/with us. Don't worry Jason says I too am accident pron. I tend to disagree with him. Just not too much otherwise I tend to prove him right!! Anywho, a little poo water never hurt anyone. God I love you Lady!! Happy Swimming!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Upstate - You're my people fo sho. :D And lol I HAVE pooped in the woods and wiped with a leaf! And true dat on the sex too - a fallen tree trunk can make for quite the position-maker - lots of options! :) Just when I don't think I can like you any more than I already do - and here ya go. :)

Corey - YYYAAAYYY You're the best!! And dude I would TOTALLY do the same thing - laugh first, slap my hand over my mouth to stop, ask "You Ok?" and laugh all over again!! :) Good, now I can smile and feel alright about it. And you? Clumsy?????? NOOOOOO. Just ask my Dad, I'm sure he'd agree ;)

Vegas Linda Lou said...

You fell flat on your face into sewer water and LAUGHED? You kill me. I'd be rocking in the fetal position in a psychiatric hospital. You're a better woman than I am.

JJ said...

Holy mother.

Krissie said...

SHIT HAPPENS INDEED. Never has a saying been more appropriate.

She-She said...

After finding out that I had an NSF from helping my friend cash her insurance check I read this and felt so much better. I may be 10 dollars in the hole but I didn't fall face into sewer water. Boy did I ever need a good laugh and you definitely gave me one. As far as pooing in the woods I've done it-stepped in it and from changing diapers wore it on my face along with getting hosed down by the little boy. What's a little poo between friends, eh?

Oh, uh...I woulda laughed!

Sandrine said...

Hi Gringa,

Check with your doctor if you need a tetanus or hepatitis B shot.I know, I maybe overreacting, it's the mother in me. ;0)
Take care.


Kristi said...

Holy SHIT!!!!! LOL
You kept it pretty cool, I think I would've died!!

Anonymous said...

Amazing!! Is there security-camera footage???

Sad your coworkers didn't see the humor. They probably think you're gonna die or something. My Mexican friends scold me for walking around the house barefoot, and for not covering my water pitcher in the kitchen. can't imagine what they'd have me do if I fell into shit.

There's been some poo water coming up out of the sewers in my neighborhood. We had massive rain 3 days ago, but why now? No idea.

jill said...

You crack me up! I would have laughed had I been in either position, either the faller or the spectator. Although probably harder if I was the spectator.

Larry Prater said...

I think it is due to cute little Daisy that you can now deal with poop so well.