Friday, May 21, 2010

Best Baby Teether

Hillbilly pacifier?
Or maybe just po-folk?
Or practical folks?
Crazy people?
It's GREEN if you think about it. No plastic!

Anyhoo last week after we grilled out we were eating at the table with Daisy in my lap and she was waving all around trying to pull the food off of our plates. I asked Chino to clean up a bone for her so no pieces would fall of and we gave it a go. The result? She freaking LOOOOVVVVEED it. I couldn't even get her to smile for a pic because this was serious business.

I don't think she's ever been so skilled with her hands - no poking her eyes out or sticking it up her nose on this day. She was so into it that she chewed on the bone giving it her full attention longer than she's given to anything else -ever.

Who needs fancy teethers and Baby Einstein videos when a plain ole chicken bone keeps her happier longer and brings out new super baby skillz? Baby Einstein didn't teach her to hold an object steady or fix her attention for longer than 30 seconds. Baby Einstein can officially kiss my ass. Dear lord have you ever tried WATCHING one of those things anyway?

GAAHHH it's horrible! If I wanted her to grow up a monotone human being with the humor of a mole, then I'd let her watch them - but no. Why do baby movies have to be so tedious and laaaame and boring? Daisy likes to watch Mexican Soap Operas, not a rubber duck floating across the screen saying "Duck. Duck. Duck. One...Yellow... Duck." Shoot me.

Of course, if we continue to let her watch Mexican soap operas the consequences of THAT might be far worse than the boring duck. She'll think it's normal to dramatically stare off into space for 40 second pauses after every conversation is finished. And when she hears that her husband is her brother and has just killed their mother who she thought was her housekeeper but who is actually a witch pretending to be a male priest - it won't phase her at all.

She'll break into song, (after a 40 second pause to stare into space) dance around the room and end the day with her lover - the gardener (who is actually a millionaire in hiding from the Argentine police.) Ah well, she'll have an exciting life.

Chicken bones are better than bologna right? At least I'm not giving her bologna - I'm not that insane. And SPEAKING of bologna - confession time - I have to sing the b-o-l-o-g-n-a song to spell "bologna" or else I'll type it baloney - every time.

(And p.s. I promise someday I'll put up a picture where she's actually wearing pants. I just have to buy some pants.)

(And P.S.S. at least I don't give her DOG BONES like my Mom did to me - it was a Milk Bone at least but... well come on.) :D I've got the pictures to prove it and I guess.... well it IS sort of a good idea.....


Vadose said...

Pants = over-rated.

She's got a shirt on, which is more than my kid right now. Unless yogurt counts as a shirt.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Vadose - Ok, I promise to stop telling you that I not-gay love you, but just this one more time ok? Because YOU ARE SO FREAKING AWESOME it's ridiculous! LMAO "yogurt" Do you ever wonder btw how Mexicans consider yogurt to be like... a staple like Americans eat...potatoes and it's no big deal - not a "health food" here but awesome and a treat and an everyday thing to them - yet in the states it's a total HEALTH food and 1/2 of the population thinks it's gross? Long sentence? I don't get it but thank god because the way they eat pork rinds - I'm sorry - chicharrones - they need something to even it out! :D

Krissie said...

"When I was little, I was so ugly, my Mom had to tie a bone around my neck for our do to play with me."

That is all. What?! It's not entirely off topic.

Jaime said...

just a question, down there do they put signs on the stores/restaurants "no shirt/no shoes/no service"? and who needs needs pants anyway?? Less Laundry!

Sunshine said...

at least C's family hasnt encouraged you to give her a rabbit carcus...yes...rabbit skull cooked rabbit skull!!!Of course that is for pain because she's teething! Bless her heart....wait till she tries american corn....ohhhh yes with butter and salt...she will fall asleep with that thing in her hand!
And mind's got to be the sweet stuff...not the elotes the guy sells off his bike!
sooooo adorable

Refried Dreamer said...

I still give my kids chicken bones to keep 'em quiet.

Can't ruin a good thing!

obladi oblada said...

I like the chicken bone idea. I have to sing the b-o-l-0-g-n-a to spell it too! Although, I must admit, I dont have many occasions to spell it. Now I have to check out a baby Einstein video to see how terrible it is. Sounds painful!

A Write Life said...

Ha! Ha! Loved your post. Yeah for chicken bones! P.S. I have to sing the song too.

raúl said...

"And when she hears that her husband is her brother and has just killed their mother who she thought was her housekeeper but who is actually a witch pretending to be a male priest." ... Gurl, I laughed out loud. That is FUNNY! I liken the Mexican novelas to C&W songs on depressive steroids. Everybody cries. The women, the men, the animals... Those things keep the glycerin companies in business. Reminds me of Madonna's reaction video of MTV's 10th anniversary of MTV music awards. "Glycerin! I need more Glycerin."

Cdn Cat said...

I must say...a bone sounds much better than what my mom used to let me teeth on. Are you ready for this one? "A Dill Pickle" Seriously I think the bone is a much healthier choice. Oh...and about the pants, I'm surprised you are not forced to make her wear those frilly little dresses. Come on...I know you want to....

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie - lol I've heard that before - where does that come from? LOL you crack me up as always :D

Jaime - Nope not here, the people here have to much pride to go in a store like that, it's just the way they are (unless they're drunk and then all bets are off)

Sunshine - MMMMM AMERICAN corn! LOL it's like a novelty right? :)

Refried - that's hilarious considering the ages of your kids - you're so damn funny :)

O.O. - LOL for real you too? HAHAH wonderful! ANd nooo, skip it and watch "Date Night" instead - That's something worth watching! :)

Write Live - HHAAAAA I can't believe another person has to sing it - that's awesome :) !! :D

Raul - LMAO "the animals" omg SOO true! Either the dog howls inconsolably or the cat ... lays on the grave till it dies. And cool, thanx for the link!

Cdn Cat - I trump all I believe because I have pictures where I was QUITE enjoying the DOG BONE (at least it was a Milk Bone) they gave me to gnaw on. LOL I'm going to go back and add that to the post. :) OK and LOL a dill pickle for real? SALTY!! Now, where's my baby, I've got a jar of pickles.

On Mexican Time said...

Gringa - when I saw the title to the post in my blogroll, I'm not going to lie! I was like what is this gal up to now! Hahaha - I was thinking more of a Samantha off Sex and the City! Remember when she used her dildo to rock Charlottes' baby to sleep? Jajaja - that was classic television!!!

There aint' nothing wrong with chicken bones and pantless... :)

Kristi said...

What are you still doing at that hotel? You should be writing soap operas for goodness sakes!!

Vadose said...

Hell yeah! Everyone eats yogurt down here. Except they've got some different ideas about what it can me mixed with. Yogurt w/ bananas is ok, but yogurt w/ mango is not? And does your husband call it "jogurt"? Because mine does, and I think it's adorable. I ask him, "Baby, is your jogurt jummy?" And he says, "jes. It's very jummy." And then I tee-hee for a while, and he has no idea why!
And word on the balancing out of chicharones!