I am now allergic to Polyester.
(bwwaaaaaa)That sentence makes me laugh because I know a lot of people with finer taste in clothing than I might say jokingly that they're allergic to Polyester but I never understood that notion. I have some really pretty shirts made of the Poly damn it! Aaaaand of course... I'm cheap.
Honestly though, if I put on a polyester shirt I have an almost immediate reaction to it - in my armpits.
Not a rash, no, nothing that simple, but instead my body makes some sort of chemical reaction with the fabric and 30 seconds later I start emitting a weird chemically B.O. that's practically nauseating. (I hope you weren't eating while reading this post.) No amount of deodorant helps and it seems actually the more deodorant applied the worse things get to smelling. In short - I reek.
Unfortunately it took me about 4 months after I gave birth to figure out the correlation and another month of being a weird smelly person to give up, give in, and get rid of my clothes. Who knew one person could have so many synthetic clothes btw?? SHIT.
Goodbye Polyester, how I loved you and your wrinkle free wonderfulness. You shall be missed but HOT DAMN I can't go on forever being the werido B.O. lady. Cuz damn. No. Bye Bye now.
The other strange thing gone awry with my body is closely related, it seems there are only a couple of deodorants on the market now that I'm also not allergic to. My old favorite, Suave Baby Powder produces the same weird chemical B.O. - not a regular B.O. - worse somehow - within seconds of application. I had one HELL of a time during pregnancy finding a deodorant that didn't do this to me but figured after I gave birth the phenomenon would go away.
Yeah no. It's worse now because now that I'm not pregnant the gel that worked while I was pregnant no longer works. Gels don't do shit for perspiring and it's 100 degrees here everyday now so you know, I need some help!
It took about 8 different brands to find one that works and a lot of time being a weird smelly lady during the process. It really sucks balls to have to start a new job and be starting a new friendship when you're going through a strange alien smelly phase. Kinda hard to impress people when you reek ya know? Asshole armpits.
Asshole chemical weird after-pregnancy-weird-shit!!
One cool thing though - my face is much clearer these days. I only have the occasional blemish now compared to the ever constant blemishes of the past. How cool is THAT?
To tell you the truth it's more than a fair trade. Goodbye pimples and goodbye Polyester, may you both rest in peace. There's more but this has been enough TMI for one post and I promise that if we ever meet in real life I'll wear my good deodorant and a nice cotton shirt.
Also, I promise to make my baby wear clothing. And do something with her hair. Cuz damn, baby be busted. Busted but sitting up! Go baby go!