Saturday, July 31, 2010

Year and a Half Jack Ass

I've been living and driving in Mexico for one year and ten months. When I first moved here I thought it was important to learn fast the meanings of different traffic signs. I say "thought" because now days I know that it doesn't really matter what the signs say, we're all going to drive the way we want, but never mind that for today.

One of the street signs - "No estacionamiento" - I remember vividly because it was such a big word and at the time impossible for my non-Spanish-speaking tongue to get out of my mouth correctly. I went around for two weeks mumbling "es-ta-see-own-uh-me-en-toe" slowly and deliberately under my breath - driving my husband nuts having to re-ask over and over "How does it go again? Esta-see-what??"

I can actually remember where I was the first time I got it right and how thrilled I was at my accomplishment. Chino and I were down town Reynosa in the car and I was practicing and all of a sudden it started flying out of my mouth quickly and correctly and I was thrilled and clapping my hands and repeating it while my husband shook his head in awe of my.... specialness.

Fast forward a year and ten months or so to the past two weeks and I've found myself facing a number of the signs you see - above to the right - every day I go to work. Because of the flooding here I was forced to find a different route to the border - at night time, alone - and for what ever reason my brain failed me the first night I ran across this "No-E" sign.

I was one block away from the street I needed when at a stop sign I looked across the street to see the "No-E" sign and thought to myself "Oh SHIT!" "No Entrance???" "But I don't know how else to get to the street I need! And it's dark! And I don't want to go around getting lost and what am I going to do because if I go the wrong way and enter that street with the NO ENTRANCE sign the Transito is going to get me and WOE IS MEEEEEE!!!!"

And so, for the past two weeks I've been taking a goofy ass twisted up route to get to the border to avoid the dreaded "No-E" signs.

I noticed that many drivers ignored the signs and drove down those streets anyway but figured that they were merely more brave than I and didn't fear the Transito. Or they didn't see the signs. Or whatever, the fact is I saw them and nothing clicked.

The "No-E" sign of course doesn't stand for "No Entrance" it STANDS for "No estacionamiento."

No Parking.

Oh. My God.

I thought the no parking signs meant no entrance and have been avoiding them all over the city trying to make my new route to the border.

Because my dildo of a brain ran low on it's double d's and mixed up the English "E" for the Mexican "E" I've been driving around the city like a psycho rat in a cheese maze with no sense of direction, merely on a a tunnel vision mission to my border prize.

I don't know why I finally realized, it just all of a sudden clicked and for one moment all the systems in my brain and body shut down for a second of stunned silence at the awe of my.... specialness.

I'm a very, very special gal.

God Help Me.


Monday, July 26, 2010

Property of Hey-Soos

The first thing I saw when I entered the front desk area last night was this in the pic to your left. Apparently Jesus works for Comfort Inn and forgot his hammer. Silly Jesus, he's a good hard working carpenter but I guess a tad forgetful. I'll make sure to give his sledge back to him when he comes in in the morning, but not till he answers a few questions about the meaning of life for me. Maybe what heaven is really like and if my name is written in "the book of life," that sort of thing.

Seriously though, Hispanic Catholics do NOT play around when they name their kids after biblical folks. Why go with Noah or John or Paul when you can head strait on in and name your kid Jesus? I wonder if they ever feel blasphemous when they're pissed at their kid and say "Crap! Jesus is being a real asshole today!"? Or what if you were married to a Jesus and got in a fight and said "Go to hell Jesus!" ?

Somthin' ta think about.

I'll be naming my future-not-yet-conceived son "Noah" by the way. I decided that today. Chino doesn't know yet but I'll tell him eventually. It was the same with Daisy, I knew what her name was going to be about four months before she was even conceived. (Please god don't let me get knocked up in four months -amen. And please forgive me for making fun of Mexicans naming their kids after you but...well come on - amen)

Speaking of my little piglet, she's taken not only to drinking and driving, playing with her jewelry while driving - but texting while driving as well.


Teach 'em young.

At least when she's texting and driving she's NOT driving over to the garbage can where she may or may not have taken out a dirty diaper to chew on. *ahem*

She's worse than the dog.

Also - Look at her bad ass form still trying to learn to crawl, she's working so hard!

Check out that form - go baby go!!

Granted, she always ends up like this -

*Aheherrrm,* yes btw she is indeed not wearing a diaper - WHO NEEDS 'EM?? Lol no, just playing, she had some diaper rash starting to form and the only way to keep it from spreading like wild fire is to let her go diaper free as much as possible. If she happens to pee on the blanket (we have extras in case) we wash it, she has a happier booty and everybody's happy.

After the flop she'll quickly degrades to this.

Poor baby, and mommy just takes your picture.

"Hold that pose, yes, good face baby, this'll be nice for mommy's blog. Just a second that one was blury, let me take another and I'll pick you up then - just holllllldddd it!"

I've got the motherly love thing down pat!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Bruja Sausage - Chorizo + Eye of Newt

I eat eggs with chorizo (mexican sausage) about four times a week - if not more. It's delicious, a different flavor, makes eggs less boring, quick and my husband adores it. We eat the shit out of it ok? Alright.

So. I've been on a reduced carb diet for about a month and a half now (down 12 pounds, applause please) and have been happily carrying on eating my chorizo because it's low in carbs. The other day at the hell-mart I decided to take the time to read some labels and see which brand was the lowest in carb and got side tracked and decided to look at the ingredient list.

I figured it'd be like hot dogs where it says "mechanically separated meat" parts or whatever and was fine with that, but what I read instead stopped my brain in it's tracks.

I honestly went blank for a moment in complete shock. Take a look -

"Beef salivary glands, lymph nodes & fat (tongue & cheeks), paprika, soy flour, vinegar, salt, spices red pepper, garlic, sodium nitrate."

At this point in my blog I would normally start swearing and using a hundred or so exclamation points and italicising everything but for once, I think I'm too in shock to do anything but keep reading the list over and over.


SALIVARY GLANDS!!??? OH MY GAWD!! Lymph nodes!? LYMPH NODES. Do you know what I think when I read or hear lymph nodes? I think CANCER. Because whenever someone gets cancer the first question is "Has it spread to the lymph nodes???" Because we all know that after it gets to the lymph nodes it goes to the rest of your body and you might just be kaput.

I stood there in the store irrationally thinking "What if the cow had cancer??" I can't eat the cancer spreading glands! Irrational, I know but come on, what was my brain supposed to do? If it were a PC it would have crashed. Just sayin'.

I just googled lymph nodes and came up with this - "Lymph nodes function to trap bacteria that may penetrate the intestinal wall." Well shit, if that doesn't scream nutritious!

And who the crap knew that there is FAT in tongue and cheeks? (lol tongue and cheek - get it?) But for real, the tongue and cheek meat is too good for chorizo? WHERE IS THE CHEEK MEAT GOING? Did you know there is such a thing AS cheek meat?

(lol "cheek meat" sounds like booty)

(Ok, I googled "cheek meat" to be an asshole and put up some horrific pic of magled beef face and ended up coming up with some really nice looking cuts of beef. Tell me - if you didn't know what that IS you'd be thinking "Mmmm looks like a nice cut!" Lol it seems there's all sorts of fancy restaurants featuring cheek meat. Who knew?)

How the hell do they get to the salivary glands and lymph nodes anyway? Is there a guy who's job it is on some assembly line to sort through the dead cow's head and yank out nodes and glands? WHERE CAN I APPLY??

I just. Damn you know? If it would have listed only one of these ingredients I might have been fine to go on eating my chorizo, I could forget about just one horror show ingredient, but there's nothing ELSE. It's ALL nodes and lymph and eye of newt and spleen of rat! I'd be OK with spleen!!

I bought some you know. I stared at it, picked up all 7 varieties they had and read the same ingredients on each package, and decided that I'm a grown up. I'm an adult and I've been enjoying my Halloween sausage for years and I need to just forget about the ingredients and remember that I love it.

But alas. I can't. My purchase has been sitting in the refri for a week now and I stare at it every time I open the door. I can't seem to find any sort of craving for it. I'm NOT an adult. Or at least, an adult capable of eating horror film sausage any more.

Asshole ingredient list.

For craps sake where do the beef butt holes go!!?? Dog food? What's left for the dog food!?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Time to be Thankful!!!

A few years ago I started a blog all for myself (but of course public) that I could go to - and made a promise to myself to go to - to write down things that I was thankful for.

When I was posting on it a lot it brightened my outlook no matter the circumstances because when you're actively looking for things to be thankful for - even when things are crappy - you FIND them. And the more you think about being thankful and the things you're thankful for - the more you find.

It snowballs and it's kinda great. And I forgot about it!

After reading comments from fellow blog-friends lately, comments where they have shared part of their life when things were going wrong, I felt a new sense of...I don't know how to put it in words - but I realized that things could be a lot worse!

The grateful concept has been dinging around in my head for a week or so and I've been trying to find a way to implement it so that I can record being thankful every day or so - a way to make myself REMEMBER to be thankful - and lol today I remembered I have a blog from long ago devoted to just that!

Great memory I have. :)

Anyhoo, I'm going to start recording the little things in life that come by and trip my trigger - and the big things too - so that I'll get back into the spirit of being thankful and not negative. Don't worry you don't have to read it, but it's public just in case a soul comes along that needs to see it.

I'm excited to be doing this again - I remember how it made me feel!

Along with this I've also been reading the book "The Secret." My suuuppppeeeerrrr cool friend here in Reynosa let me borrow it and she said that it changed her life - literally - so I had to give it a go. Has anybody read it? Thoughts? It's a lot about positive thinking, and maybe a little out there - but maybe not. I'm not gonna judge it till I give it my best!

Try to screen your thoughts for an hour or so today and be honest with yourself about the positive/negative aspect of those thoughts. I'm here to tell you the truth that if you make an effort to change them to the positive and start being grateful - you'll find more and more to be positive about. It's easy to forget so if you want to help yourself write things down in a lil notebook or on your Facebook or start a blog! :D

Try it for a week even if you're super skeptical and I swear you won't have reason to come back to my blog and tell me I'm looneytoons. Mexpats honor!!

Lol and btw I swear I'm not smoking anything or have ingested any questionable substances today - I'm just feeling UP and want to share. I want you to feel UP too!! :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Speedy Gonzalez!

My baby is attempting to crawl. She's not exactly good at it and pretty much ends up like the picture to your right at every attempt - FACE PLANT - but she's giving it her best damn it! (btw I wasn't waiting for a face plant pic, I was trying to get a pic of her up on her arms and got this instead ;D ) Last week she rolled over for the first time, she's trying to crawl and she can even stand up all by herself. How did this happen? Wasn't I just pregnant? Weren't I just freaking out about giving birth and how I was going to keep her alive?

You do realize I'm turning into a mommy blogger.

I'd appreciate if someone would slap me.

But she's so cute... I want to put up pictures of my cute baby and brag and make fun of her.

*i will not become a mommy blogger i will not become a mommy blogger*

But she can STAND!!??? Isn't that NEATO?? LOL will I give a shit with the next one? Like, will I think any of this is great or will I just drag him around like an old blanket because he'll be old news?

"He." Wishful thinking for my husband.

We took her to Burger King to play in the play place (lol doesn't work so well for one that cannot crawl or walk) and we gave her her first french fry. NICE Lindy, start her young on the road to obesity! LOL it was only one though and then she moved on to her vegetable cookie and watched Mommy set a good example by eating a salad. Ok, and maybe Chino broke off pieces of his double whopper and fed it to her but WHATEVER it was only once and strait back to oatmeal and green beans the next day.

We tried going to the zoo today but the roads were flooded. Before I had a baby I used to think it was retarded to take babies to zoos and parks like that but now I get that you're not going so much for the baby to learn or remember or be enriched - you're doing it to get the dang thing OUT OF THE HOUSE so it won't be cranky and have yourself be amused in the process.

We do all sorts of stuff that we never did before just to get the baby out of the house so she won't be bored and although she might be amused riding the carousel and playing in the park it's my husband and I who are truly having the good time.

It's kind of neat that she's forced us to come out of our shell and get out of the house. The first year we were here in Mexico we didn't go anywhere, like... ever. We were bummed and scared to go places and didn't KNOW of any places TO go but after the baby was born we'd been here longer, were a tad more brave and quite frankly HAD to find places to take her. Now day's we know about parks and the mall and a zoo and water parks and all sorts of fun stuff that we never did before having a baby.

Backwards? Perhaps, but it's working out fine. :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I Like My Tea Green

I have no idea what the Tea Party Act... thing... is about. I seriously have zero time to watch t.v. - news included - and I'm not exactly a political-type person soooooo.... well I just have no clue. Every time I DO pass a television someone seems to be screaming about it and so therefore I'm a tad curious and I imagine I should probably care, but I don't.

I could be Googling it right now and reading all about it but I think it's more fun and a better use of my time to write about the fact that I'm clueless just to boggle your mind. ;P

It's funny how cut off a person can become when a baby comes into their life and I think expats like myself end up a tad more cut off - for the plain fact that nobody around us speaks English or cares much about English T.V. or U.S. politics. To tell you the truth though, I don't mind a bit. Whenever I'm at work and a customer starts up a conversation about current events - plane crashes, bombings, shootings, natural disasters and such - I thank my lucky stars I DON'T have time to watch t.v.

My husband has somehow figured out a way to bribe the baby into sitting and watching t.v. by his side - I HAVE NO FRIGGIN CLUE HOW THAT FREAK DOES IT - and so he's caught up on things, but we don't talk about it. Instead we talk about BABY. We talk about our baby or maybe the latest high-jinx of a friend or what disease our dog needs a shot for this week or how we're going to get our asses out of our current jam, but mostly -BABY.

Baby food in, baby food out, how cute baby is how evil baby is, baby's toys baby's stuff, baby's smile, laugh, fart, busted ass hair - ect.

Sometimes I think we need to get a life. Or is being all-consumed with one's new baby HAVING a life? Am I allowed to say a seven month old is a "new" baby still? When does the new wear off? Once again, I'm clueless. I DO know that I don't mind it though, and that that fact seems astronomically weird.

What the hell did we talk about before having Daisy and why do I not miss it?

What the hell do babies DO to a persons BRAIN!? Besides fry it all to hell. Fried. That's why we don't care about other things, we're freaking FRIED. Will we become un-fried 18-30 years from now when she moves out? WHAT THE HELL WILL WE TALK ABOUT THEN???

Who knows, but I'm damn sure it won't be the Tea Party.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Baby's Not Retarded and My Husband is Not an Alcoholic

***************** UPDATE - Right after posting this happy post I found out that my debit card had been stolen - again - aaaaaannndd they half emptied my account. Screw you world. Really. In the meantime, thank goodness for the Chase insurance guy that said they would return the charges - eventually I'll be looking for that bridge now. Thank You.***************

Last night I was playing with Daisy on the bed, trying to work with her in her frustration to learn to crawl and all of a sudden, for no apparent reason - she rolled over. SEVEN MONTHS OLD, she can sit up and even stand all by herself using the couch but she couldn't roll over until last night.

Bwaaaahahahah she's not retarded!!!! ;D From last night till this morning she's figured out that she can roll over left to right, right to left and from tummy to back and back to tummy. Lol she might be a late bloomer but at least she's caught on quick!

So there, a good thing. Theresa's comment on my last post about her past life in Las Vegas brought my self-pity to a dead halt this morning. The single sentence about her ex-husband being an alcoholic slapped me in the face and back into reality. *THWACK* Just like that and the fog was gone from my brain because I happen to have a wonderful husband. I have a wonderful husband that I CHOSE to move here for and deal with all of this for and he's still worth it. He's out right now walking around trying to get our vehicles fixed so we can both go back to work tonight.

I even have two friends here in Reynosa - TWO! TWO whole friends (and that's not sarcasm) that are wonderful and sweet to me and THERE for me and are more than willing to help me if I'd ask and would even drive my sorry ass to work if it came down to it.

And, my baby is apparently not retarded. So you know... that's cool.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Somebody Kick Me

A couple of months ago my Chihuahua Sassy accidentally ran away. I was too sad and too much in denile thinking that she was going to come home to blog about it. We put out around 500 fliers all around our neighborhood and searched for days and never heard a thing. I was never going to post about it, just one more downer thing that I'd rather avoid, but today I'm so sad once again that I'll have to either write it out or jump a bridge.

Today, my little sweet 35lb pit bull Pooper got out, got lost and aparently couldn't find his way home. We realized really quick and my husband went after him not even ten minutes later but he couldn't find him. Chino came back to the house to see if Pooper'd returned but he hadn't so we packed up the baby and set out to find him in earnest. Driving around looking for Pooper reminded me so much of looking for Sassy, it was just about too much.

We were only out searching about twenty minutes - and Chino's truck broke down.

The car still isn't fixed so we were stranded, no car, no truck and no way to go and look for our dog. Chino had to be off walking and trying to find another mechanic and parts and things for the truck and so I was in the house watching after the baby. I would have gone out and ran the streets, but when it's 100 degrees and full sun you can't exactly go out prancing around with a baby.

It's almost 10p.m. and we still don't have a vehicle and never got to go looking for Pooper. He still hasn't come home. He's not GOING to come home and I know it.

I managed to get the baby in her stroller and go around a few streets after the sun went down and even more - managed to get myself BIT IN THE LEG by some bastard little yippie-dog a few streets over. Little asshole just ran up and bit me for no good reason and if I hadn't been too busy screaming I would have kicked the shit out of him. I imagine, with my luck, I have rabies now.

I'm just about out of steam. I just, I don't know you know? How much does a person have before they split in two and flip the lid? The scary thing to me is that I feel like I've got a LOT left in me and I wish I didn't . It'd be a lot easier just to go looney toons but aparently my genetic makeup doesn't make that possible. GOOD FOR ME.

I want my family back, I want my friends back, I want my great job back and my home where there are trees and no cartels and no shootings and to be where it's not over 100 degree's four months a year and where our house isn't robbed every three months and there aren't cockroaches the size of rats. I want my cats to be happy again and to have working vehicles and be able to go to a church that speaks English so I can pray for all of these things and today, today I want my dogs back. I want my sweet gentle dogs that are part of my family back in our house and begging for scraps they don't need and knocking over vases and reaking havoc and licking my face.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Stud McNugget

Remember THIS GUY and his lady friend? The chicken couple that live across the street on the side of my neighbors house?

I've noticed over the past month and a half or so that the Rooster doesn't keep around the same hen for very long. One girl for a few nights or maybe a week, he'll be alone for a day or so and then he's shacking up with a new chick for a few more days.

He's a Rooster Hor.

Rooster Gigolo*, Male escort, STUD MUFFIN, (Stud- McNugget?) - a.k.a. Rooster Sperm Donor.

Who knew?

Cock fighting is a big deal down here (Ok really, can ANYBODY keep a strait face reading the word "cock fight" and not imagine two dangles slapping each other around? Cuz I cant.) so I guess it makes sense that they would want to pass on genes from a particularly good fighter. Like horse racing studs, you get the point.

Or maybe it's that he's really pretty? He's a pretty boy stud?

I don't have a clue. It's even more confusing that the hens don't stay around longer than they do. I mean, they only lay one egg a day so if they only stay 5 days that's only 5 eggs and wouldn't that be a bit of a small number to incubate?

I wonder if he's just really expensive and is paid by the lay..

I guess this makes my neighbor a pimp. Too bad he doesn't have a pimp hat or a pimp stick, cuz that'd be cool.

I don't know. All I DO know is that I have a male hor living on the side of my neighbors house living in a cage, getting paid to screw different girls every week and I get to see it all in technicolor vision. Chicken porn - and he doesn't even have a fluffer!

I'm gonna get him a red light for Chirstmas.
*Thank you to Spell Check for fixing my spelling of the word "Gigolo" what would I do without you??

Sunday, July 11, 2010

First Time Alone - With The Police

Last night on my way to cross the border to get to work there was a big detour going on because of the flooding here and I didn't know where to go. I was throwing around ideas in my head of which street to take when I noticed an officer across the way directing traffic. My mind said "YAY! Officer Friendly! He'll show me the way! Yippeee!" and over I drove to ask him directions.

He had been directing other people in the same situation pointing here or there and sending them on their way but I... got pulled over to the side. At first I thought he was just being extra friendly because he realized that I'm not from around here and that I don't speak much Spanish but my brain came to an abrupt "Oh Fuck" when he asked to see my license.

All I did was ask for directions and I found my self effectively "pulled over." Another car pulled up to ask him directions and when he turned away to answer them (them and their lucky Mexican non-white asses) I saw the back of his shirt - "TRANSITO" - and proceeded to contemplate shitting my pants.

Instead, I did what I always thought I might do if this situation ever came to pass - me alone with a Transito officer - and I played dumb. I pretended not to understand what the word (I'm going to write everything in English, but we spoke all in Spanish) "license" meant and proceeded to bat my eyelashes and smile and repeat "Where is the border?" "I need to go to the border?" "I'm sorry, I don't understand much Spanish."

He was intent on seeing my license though and I had to figure a way out of it because my license has been LOST for a couple of months now. I keep thinking it's going to pop up somewhere but yeeaahh I'm pretty sure it's long gone. ANYHOO, if I admitted that I didn't have it on me or couldn't find it I would have been in sooo much trouble. SO, I kept playing dumb saying I didn't understand until he got frustrated and said "I.D. Identification" - at which point I smiled REAL big and said "OHHHH I.D.! I have that! Here's my passport!!!" WHEW!!

So, he looked at my passport and started with the questions. "Where are you going?" "What are you doing here?" I told him that my husband lives in Reynosa and his eye's lit up, his next question being "Where does your husband work?" (He was sizing me up for how much I was worth, how much my husband would be able to pay to get me out of Transito-Limbo) I told him the truth and lol - he laughed at me! He was thinking maybe I was with a rich husband from the U.S. that heads a factory or something and that he was going to get a lot of $$ out of me. HAA!!

Anyhoo, on with the questions but at this point they were more out of curiosity like "Why don't you speak Spanish?" "Does your husband speak English?" (DUHHHH) "You live in the U.S. and he lives here?" At one point I think he wanted me to call my husband so he could speak to him - he hadn't quite given up on some $$ but I pretended not to understand and asked for the 20th time "Where is the border?"

The entire time he was asking me questions car after car pulled up and asked him directions - many asking the SAME thing that I was and he'd send them peacefully on their way. I didn't let on that I understood the peoples questions or his answers for a while but soon got tired of the questioning and got confident that he wasn't going to take me in on some trumped up charges and said "Ohhh!! It's THAT way! You told that man it's THAT way to the border! Thank You!" He of course ignored me and went on talking, I think at this point I was a fun diversion for him so I pretended to get worried and urgent and told him that I reeeaaaallllyyy needed to get to the border so I could get to work.

At last he relented, handed me back my passport and sent me on my way. All of that because I forgot that "Officer Friendly" isn't so friendly here. All of that over asking "Which way is the border?"

Gahh. A lot of fellow expats - those of you down South might be freaking out because no, he didn't have the right to ask for my license or take my passport or ask me 50 questions -and I know that - but here on the border things are different. There ARE no rights. "Rights" here on the border belong to who ever has the biggest gun or the best cartel hook-up. Here if you disobey or refuse to pay or lol - ask for a ticket - you might get your ass drug out of your car and beat or robbed or both. No matter how loud you spout out the rights for people in the state of Taumalipas, they'll still drag your ass in, take your money, maybe hold you for ransom and steal your car. That's why we pay the 70 pesos to the Transito officers and bid them good day. Sorry Southern Mexico folks, Chino and I aren't young or naive, we're merely saving our ASS.

But tonight, ahhhh tonight I played my best I-don't-speak-Spanish-but-aren't-I-cute card, got an officer that wasn't feeling too bastardy, and got off lucky and scott free. Tonight for the first time we didn't pay a bribe and I did one hell of a happy dance in the truck on the way to work. Tonight I WON!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Thank You LAUREN!!!

LAUREN a.k.a. lolo_pimpschitt - a fellow blogger and FB friend of mine contacted me about a month back and offered out of the blue to send me some baby clothes that her daughter (her daughter who btw is cuter than Daisy, like amazingly cute) has grown out of. I was totally surprised and flattered and to tell you the truth - thrilled - because my lil fatty was fast outgrowing everything I had for her. I was also all feet-shuffly and socially backward feeling because it was such a kind offer and I'm goofy when it comes to excepting gifts.

Since then she's mailed me not one but TWO boxes of clothing for Daisy and OH MY GAWD what NICE clothes!! They're spotless and adorable and couldn't be better sizes if I'd picked them out myself and it's seriously been like Christmas around here! She even sent a couple of bathing suits, shoes, hair bows and even adorable baby tights. I'm so flabbergasted by her kindness - she sent A LOT of clothes, and feel all around... I don't know.... it's just REALLY neat that an almost stranger would do such a nice thing you know?

Anyhoo, I've been wanting to do this post for a while but not until I could tell her that HER box is on IT'S way! She of course didn't ask me for anything in return, but I wanted to do something so - Lauren, your Mexican candy is on it's way!! Lol I'm totally excited about that, I hope she likes them. :)

All the pictures in this post are Daisy wearing her new clothes (See I DO put her in clothes sometimes!) Lauren sent me so many lovely outfits that I've not had to buy a single thing for Daisy in over a month -and won't have to for quite a while. Considering our financial situation right now I can imagine that you can imagine just what a huge blessing that's been. HUGE!!

So, anyhoo, I just wanted to say a big-ole THANK YOU to Lauren, and show her how much it's been appreciated and USED around here! :)

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Likes to POOP,

In the pool.



Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Dolla Dolla No Holla! Wait.... HOLLAAAA

Here on the border in Tx there's an insane amount of shopping available because of all the Mexicans that come over to buy. A ton of the stores offer super cheap wares - some a good deal and others you know... like, wear-it-once and if falls apart. I love it! I buy most of the things that my husband sells in Mexico in these stores (They all seem to be owned by Koreans?) - only the decent products of course - and love shopping in them for us as well.

Anyhooooo today I went shopping for hair irons ($8.75 when I buy them wholesale!) to take back and was lured over to the super cheap jewelry section. I've been wanting a new necklace and since all jewelry is a dollar I figured what the hell.

I picked out a 6 strand 28 inch seed-bead necklace that was sooooo pretty I had to buy 3 more. Purple, Green, Yellow and Blue, I figured I could wear more than one and mix and match - I'm sorta colorful like that.

I'm babbling, anyways, I wore the purple and green to work today (Ok I wore the blue too, so shoot me I LIKE RAINBOWS.) and about two hours after I arrived one of the strands on the green necklace broke. Ah well, that's what I get for buying it for a dollar and what the hey, I can just re-strand them... but wait.

When I looked down at my chest to inspect the green necklace I noticed that I had purple coloring smeared all over the front of my shirt and ALLL OVER my chest and neck! Bwwahahaah the purple necklace it seems has a dye-problem and rubbed off it's purple all over me making my shirt a disaster and my skin look like I've got a horrid, severe, purple-ish sun burn - in a circle around my neck and chest.


LOL, luckily it comes off with soap and water and scrubbing so my shirt is fine (thank god it was black and grey) and my skin is back to being paper-white. I laughed at the purple necklace and figured ah well, what the hell, I'll just rinse it off and no harm done.

Three hours later and I'm still rinsing.

Ok, so I only rinsed for about five minutes and then gave up but I've been soaking it in an ice bucket and going back every now and then to swish it around, dump out the pink water and fill 'er up again.

Some of the beads are staying purple and it seems that others are going ... clear. Lmao who PAINTS on color?

So yeeeeaahhh, the $1 necklaces are apparently like the sandals that only last a day and the tea that's out of date but ah well, I STILL think it's a good buy for all of those beads! I'll re-string the green and keep washing the purple until I get my DOLLARS WORTH thank you very much.

(p.s. it's been a few days since I wrote this post and it took 2 days of soaking and washing to finally get out all of the dye on the purple beads!) :D

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Waters Rising

My very first Hurricane, Hurricane Alex came on through this past week and lucky for us he went far enough South to not do much harm. He did however drop a shit load of rain on us and as I've blogged about before, with the drainage - i.e. NO drainage system - here in Mexico, it was quite the fiasco.

There are only three roads that lead out of the neighborhood where I live and by the time I'd left for work yesterday two were already impassable. Chino and I scouted out the third route earlier in the day and though it had a spot where there was a huge downward slope, it sported a nice big ditch at the bottom that was taking away the water from the road and making it so there wasn't a lake at the bottom.

After nine more hours of rain though, I had a pretty bad feeling about how it was going to go. Some of the roads on the Texas side were flooded and for me that meant that Reynosa was going to be a huge poo-filled water park.

I drove home facing one road lake after another and before crossing any of them waited for someone else to come along and go through first. You never know when the seemingly flat road might actually hold a 3 foot dip (in the space of about 10 feet) for no apparent reason, or there might be a missing man-hole cover or a road washed out - SO - I watch other folks try it out first.

I finally came to the ravine with the big ditch at the bottom - my only way home, and was surprised to see that the ditch hadn't yet given up, jammed or overfilled and that the road was still fairly clear. The road leading downward to the bottom and to the ditch was a nice flowing river but it wasn't that deep so I headed across. No problems at all! I was so pleased and therefore all the more baffled that the farther UP the hill I went the deeper the water seemed to get.

When I got to the top and the land flattened out the water reeeaaalllly seemed to get deeper but I kept trudging along because my brain couldn't wrap around the concept that it could be possible.


Anyhoo, the Super-Scort started going slower and slower, started to sputter - and quit. It gave up and told me to go to hell. The first picture at the top is facing out in front of me where there should be a wide road with fields on the sides. Instead, it was a lake. My car doesn't like lakes, it's kinda bitchy like that.

I couldn't seem to get a hold of Chino on his cell so I opened up my door to see just how deep it might be and was faced with the second photo. The water looks so turbulent because it was swiftly making it's way down the hill I'd just come up and I was thanking God it wasn't another inch deep or it'd been inside my car. It was however deep enough so that I could FEEL it under my feet on the floor boards where it was gurgling underneath the car. That's truly a creepy feeling in case you were wondering.

I said never mind to walking and started bombing Chino's cell until he answered me. He came to my rescue in his truck soon after and pushed me home bumper-to-bumper.

Today we tinkered and fiddled and dried and prayed for a couple of hours and thank God the dead-scort was super once again. Chino got to use the new tool set I bought him for Fathers day and feel all manly so all's well that ends well.

Next time around that we get that much rain I do believe I'll stay put at work and sleep in my car. I'd much rather sleep in it than kill it. :D

********Update. The day after the flooding incident on my way home from work My car's engine decided to attempt to reproduce itself asexually and preform a little binary fission. (i.e. it blew up and split in two) Lol I guess there was some water in the engine after all. I'm currently spending the $$ that took me a year and half to save to fly home and see my family and for them to meet Daisy before she's like... a year old. I'm also pouting and have made the decision to be a brat and not think happy thoughts and am trying to figure out a way to tell my Mom that I won't see her in 3 weeks. I'll get over it in a couple of days but for now I would like to reserve the right to be pissy. Thank You.**********

******Second Update - Shit happens, it's been a few days and I'm not so pissy anymore, I've got too much other stuff to be thankfull for!******

Friday, July 2, 2010

I Was Born On A Pirate Ship

I was standing in line at a gas station a couple of days ago when two younger teen or 12yr old boys came up in line behind me. They were a bit loud and and playing that good-ole childhood game where you hold your tongue out with your fingers and say "I was born on a pirate ship."

Never done that? Go ahead...I'll wait.

(I was born on a pile of shit) There you go.

Anyways, they were cracking each other up coming up with all sorts of ways to make each other say swear words when I started getting annoyed. There were a lot of people around and here these kids were loudly laughing and fux swearing and not giving one damn about it. The audacity! Just as I was about to turn around and give them my best seething you're-being-rude-little-punks-look though, I remembered -I used to love that game.

Granted, I never swore in front of adults and God forbid never in public but... well dang I DID like to play that game. I looked around and besides THEM there weren't any other children, no little kids and no old ladies. The boys were laughing so hard at themselves that they were turning red, full of smiles and I realized they weren't meaning to be punks.

And. Lol AND I realized that for all of the phrases they were coming up with - they DIDN'T know one of the best of all. SO! I turned around, smiled and busted out with -

"Say, "I like peanuts."

The boys blinked at me and went completely silent like "Oh shit this lady is bonkers, why is she speaking to us?? What is she going to DO??" So I smiled again, laughed a bit and said "Try it, say, "I like peanuts"

Oh lordy it still makes me laugh for REAL out loud because they DID say it and it came out perfect! They'd never heard it before so there was that split second of confusion while they're brain processed that they had just said "I like penis." It was fun to watch the expression on their faces go from "Wha?" to once again laughing their asses off. I smiled and shook my head, turned around and with great timing it was my turn to pay.

I left the store feeling really glad that I had a little fun with the kids instead of going all super-bitch. Yes, they shouldn't be swearing in public but.... well I don't know... it's not like they were dropping the F-bomb every other 4 words like the grown man in line on his cell phone behind them. You know?

I'm just glad I remembered to have fun, and remembered what it was like to be 13 for a second. :)