Friday, August 6, 2010

I'm a TEACHER!!!! OH EM GEE !!

OH my gawd I love this picture!!! I totally stole it from a FB friend (Hi Miki!) and had to share it because...well..


It's awesome and that is all.

Okay so ready for the coolest news EV-VER!!??? I was hired on-the-spot two days ago at a private school here where I LIVE in Reynosa!!

To be a TEACHER!!!



*pees pants*

*goes to change pants*

*puts on Depends because might pee again*


OMG !!!!!!!!!!!

I can't..

This is just...

Oh my gosh!!!

Ok, deeetails!!! They hired me to be a "Conversation Teacher." What does that mean? Ummmm well I guess (lmao I don't truly know the details) I'll be a teacher that goes around from class to class and helps the kids practice all of the English that they've been learning and actually put it to use, making real conversation.

They informed me today that I'll be teaching elementary, middle school and high school - lol - not bad for someone who has never stepped foot in a real classroom. I gave private violin lessons for a weeee bit and did a couple of Sunday school classes way back but it'd be like comparing apples to donkeys. "DONKEH!"

Why?? Might you ask would they hire someone that doesn't have a college degree or any true teaching experience?

I'm white.

OKAAAYY, okay, not JUST because I'm white, but because I'm an American and I have the American accent that will help these kids to get a much better handle on speaking English correctly. And... I'm white and therefore stick out like a sore thumb and impress the hell out of the rich parents that pay a ridiculous amount of money for their kids to come there and learn.

I can only imagine what they would think about paying that ridiculous amount of $$ if they knew that I have a H.S. diploma and about two semesters of college amounting to - zip - and the fact that I can't spell and have no concept of grammar - but whatever - I DON'T HAVE TO CROSS THE BRIDGE EVERY DAY ANYMORE!!!!!

*goes to change Depends*

Plus, they're going to pay me more than I was earning sucking up to people at the Hotel in Texas! And they're going to give me insurance (not that I'll use it (scaaarrryyyy), but it'll cover my husband and that way he'll at least have something and that is awesome) AND - OH MY GAWD - AND - they PAY FOR HOUSING!!!


*searches for baby diaper because has run out of depends*

They're actually going to give me 3,000 pesos in rent money (or they will rent a place for us but we don't want to move) - and we only pay 2,500 for our house! SCORE!

Seriously you guys, I won't be spending one hundred dollars a month to cross the border 5 days a week AND we'll be saving two hundred dollars on rent.

*faints again*

*wakes up to find husband staring at me thinking I'm drunk because I'm in a diaper and have pissed myself*

You know, if the hurricane hadn't come and I hadn't drove through a flooded road and blew up my car and spent all of our money trying to fix it (still sooo not fixed but whatever!) I would have been able to fly home and see my family for a couple of weeks - BUT - I wouldn't have gone to that interview. I would have come home to the same crappy job going nowhere and had no idea what greatness was out there that might-have-been.

So. YYAAYYY FOR MY CAR BLOWING TO SHIT!!!! LMAO we're actually going to have to buy another motor for it because the mechanic that bought us the first one bought a motor that goes to a completely different car and tried to make it work with ours and ended up screwing up even MORE stuff -and won't refund us anything, and is cartel-hooked-up so we can't mess with him - BUT WHATEVER - Because I now have a kick ass job and we're not going to be PO-NO-MO!!!! (p.s. I promise not to use the word "and" 18 times in once sentence when I'm teaching, and I'm going to buy a book on grammar - cuz damn)

So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*searches for inhaler*

*realizes is not asthmatic*

*thanks God for that*


*wakes up to find husband slapping his weaner against the side of my head because when you've been married for a while your husband might think it's funny to do that sometimes*

I'm so excited! I start in .... three days!! HOLY CRAP!!

I'm so happy!!


Anonymous said...

That is sooo awesome, Gringa!

That is exactly what I want to do too. I'm saving to travel the world in a year's time and meanwhile getting ready to do a TEFL certificate. Mexico is where I want to go to teach English so you totally have to keep us updated on how the job is. :D




Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Ceri - No problem!! And yes a TEFL will be a great asset to you!! I don't have one but a lady that works at the same school as I has one and got her job with just that - a TEFL but no experience or degree! So go for it! :) So, what part of Mexico are you thinking?

Carmen said...

I can just picture the happy dance you're doing!!! Good for you and for your family!!!
Remember how just awhile back you were all talking about wondering what God had in store for you??? I know that he had these plans in store for you when things were looking so bad. I know it's hard, even when things look like they just can't get any worse, but it's always in the back of my head, What is god planning here?
Now, just can't wait to hear your students' english 2 years down the road!

Leslee said...

Woohooo! So happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Carmen - Well he could at least SEND ME A MEMO ;D Lol Thank You! :) And hmmm... 2 years from now *i promise they won't swear i promise they won't swear because of me!* :D

Leslee - I agree! :D

Leah Flinn said...

Felicidades! I'm so glad the bad news of your car ended up being a good thing ;-)

Sean said...

Congratulations! This is wonderful news. And if anyone has the energy level and enthusiasm necessary for this job, it's certainly you! I'm exhausted just reading your happy post

Rick Thomson said...

Hey congratulations on your new gig.

Errr...just one wee comment though...American accent and proper english in the same sentence???

Does that work??? >;-D

Alice said...

Congratulations!! Very exciting! TIme to dust off the old timey songs like Hokey Pokey and Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Email me if you need ideas.

Anonymous said...

Sooo awesome!! Paying your rent? Heck yes!! Glad you'll be closer to home as well!

Don't get too tan... have to stay white enough to impress the rich folk :)

*Soooo glad my husband isn't the only one who does that, btw*

Crystal said...

Are they going to help you with your Visa? I was looking in to that also when I was thinking that we were moving to Mexico earlier this year and I saw a lot where they help you out also by paying for your work visa.
Congrats!! I am so glad you have a better job.

Upstate Broad said...

First, allow me to dispel the notion that Americans speak proper English. Frankly, no one does. Every English-speaking culture has their own accents, dialects and quirks, but as per my FB post, Americans torture the language much more than necessary.

All I can say about the wee ones is that kids really do learn what they hear. My son naturally speaks Ebonics when around his friends, but he can also speak first-rate English because that is the example that my husband and I set in our home. His teachers always commented on his command of the language. I never spoke down to him and encouraged him to simply ask if I used a word he didn't know.

I had a whole list of suggestions for you regarding the older kids, but realized that they were totally about grammar & usage and not at all conversational. I keep thinking about it, though!

BTW, love that pic, too! May have to "steal" it from you to use on FB!

Pam said...

Best. News. EVER!!! This is so freakin' awesome!

And that whole thing about your hubby slapping you in the head with his weiner... well now that just hit too damn close to home. ROFLMAO What IS it with men and their weiners?????????

Kristi said...

You aren't excited or anything are ya??!!! Lol Congrats from another teacher! and Good Luck, it is a very difficult job!

Mary C said...

Soooooo happy for you! I just know you are going to connect with those kids the way you connect with people on this blog. Your heart is in the right place, and good things are coming your way!

Vadose said...

Yay! What fantastic news. I'm so excited for you! I may have dribble dripped in my drawers for you, because that's such AWESOME news! Congratulations! Good luck! And oh my god, I can't wait for the stories you'll post about your new job! ^.^

Theresa in Mèrida said...

My friend had a job like that here. The pay stank, sounds like you have a good deal. I am so happy for you!
Just find something to talk about.My friend and her class (of adults) read the paper and discussed it.
Also remember most of those kids are NOT interested in learning English. They just want to pass the test. If you keep that in mind it will help a lot, emotionally. When you actually find one that wants to learn, treasure the moment.
I subbed at a language school here in exchange for lessons. They wanted a native English speaker, the most fun was had when we played hangman.The rest of the time it was like pulling teeth. So make it fun, use the vocab that they learned that week...good luck!


Anonymous said...

I'm doing six months of travelling next year and, towards the end, I'll be flying into Mexico City from Lima. I'm gonna do some exploring of the country while I'm there to see how I find it. :D Any recommendations of where to visit/avoid while I'm there?



Mama of 4 said...

REALLY, REALLY, Happy for you cuz you've been through a lot and you deserve it!!! BTW I LOVE the pic and am totally going to share with my facebook friends!

Mel said...

Yo! Thanks for the shout out on your blog! So cool. I am glad to see so many other of your readers like it and are going to "borrow" it. Very awesome!

I wanted to tell you again, how happy I am for you. I hope that this job is everything you need it to be and more. I think if you keep the conversations to music, entertainment and pop culture, you will get them interested in talking. Mexican kids LOVE American pop culture and music. I hear John Cena (silly WWE wrestler) is HUGE in Mexico in the 8-18 yr old range. I have many nieces and nephews in Mexico City who are nuts about him and Justin Bieber (sticking finger in mouth to simulate gag). Anyway....just know you are not alone and we are here for you if you need us. I was seriously thinking about starting a campaign to raise the money for your trip home. I know you would never ask for help and I get why. But, what if you just happened to get a nice little care package (like the baby clothes) but it had plane tickets instead. I'm just saying......

Take care and know that I am sending much love to ya from Iowa.


Marlo said...

I too am sooo happy for you! Now you'll get to spend more time not commuting and most importantly- No more NASTY comforters, lol. BTW, I loved the shout out for my cuz Miki that pic was kick ass- I had to borrow it as well!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Leah - Lol Right!? Who would have thunk it!

Sean - haaa :D Energy!! Lol it's only in my head :D No, no, acutally, now that I'll have a normal schedule and be sleeping when the baby sleeps - I might just GET some sleep and more energy! YAY!!! :D

Rick - Oh well just WHAT EVER ;D Truth is they want to hear the English accent (northern, like from Michigan) that is heard on the T.V. - and that's what I've got! :D

Alice - I should probably learn some of those, I don't know too many - and Daisy should be hearing them! Poor lil deprived baby :D

Gringa - ahahahahahahaha *awesome* :D And Thank You! :D

Crystal - Yes, they said they would help me with the Visa and do it all for me - but that I'd have to have my diploma Apostiled. And to get that I'd have to go back to Michigan and THEN drive 200 miles to Detroit. (my parents could do it but I can't ask them to drive to Detroit!) Soooo they recomended I do it through my husband because I DO have our marrige cert. apostiled. We'll see!

Upstate - Like I told Rick, they just want to hear the English accent that is heard on the Television - the northern accent - and you might not believe it but I'm able to speak elequently and properly when in a situation that calls for it. :) Here? Nope, don't feel like it :D

Pam - YYAAAYY Thank You!! And yes... boys are just weird, I've never slapped him with my tweeter for hevens sake!

Kristi - Thank You!! And difficult??? *places hands over ears and hums* ;D

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Mary - awwww you're so sweet! And I sure hope so! :)

Vadose - Thank you for the vicarious piddle ;D And yessss lol I will not be telling them that I'm a blogger (or writing the name of the place) so I can post about them!!

Theresa - They don't want to learn??? Lol I forgot that this IS school right? Ah well, at least with this class there are no grades -and no tests - so perhaps I can get them to relax and have some fun with it. That's my plan! :)

NotPink - Ummmmm crap I'm not sure? I know of a great Gay Mens spa.. :D All I know for sure is stay away from either border!

Mama - Thank you, I feel like I DO deserve it! *waits for lightning to strike* ;D

Mel - BWWAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH OH GIRLIE!!! Wrestling is HUGE here with any age group!! LOL Chino sells a ton of wrestling t-shirts at the flea market! But yes, I love your ideas about talking a lot about pop culture - that's a damn good idea! And awwwwww I hope to get home as soon as the first school holiday comes! I have no idea when that will be - lol I guess going to school here I'll finaly learn the Mexican holidays - so as soon as we get the car fixed (buying ANOTHER motor!) I'm going to start saving my pennies!! :)

Marlo - LMAO True dat!! :D And she's your cousin?? LOL I'm so lost! :D Thank You! :)

~ellen~ said...


Nothing but all caps style shouting would do. :)


mjesf said...

Good for you. I guess karma worked out for you after all!

Anonymous said...

CONGRATS LADY!!!! So happy for you! Just remember that if you want the students (male) to look you in the eye you're goning to have to put those puppies away!!!! Boys become aware of those at around 8 to 9 yrs old. I think you will be BRILLIANT!!! I think you will have no problem getting your students involed and interested in learning American English.

*BTW* my husband is always telling me "One of these days I'm gonna wake you up by slapping you in the face with my Penis!! Ha Ha Ha!" And yes he always laughs. We've been married for 10 years now and it still hasn't happened. I think he Values his life too much to acctually follow through. Maybe for his 40 birthday (4 1/2 more yrs) I'll let him slap my face with his penis. Ha!! We'll see.

We did miss you for the reunion, but we have all been there and understand. The funniest thing that happened was your brother Boo telling me (yelling) that "You are NOT fat!!! I don't care wat anyone says you are NOT fat. You are 'AERODYNAMICALLY CHALLENGED!'" I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. I mean I'm the one who called me fat, but that shit is funny. I still laugh when I think about it!!

Anyways, congrats again and good luck!!

♥ you & miss you, Corey Jo