Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Don't like it? PISS OFF

I was going to write more about the points but folks were getting confused.  ;). The gist of the end of the story was that they didn't mess with the point worker.  He wasn't stealing anything and there was no way my husband or neighbor would go and tell the soldiers where he was hiding.  If they ratted him out and he survived he knew where we lived and would surely let his bosses know who had blew the wistle.  My husband might be a little stick happy but not CRAZY.

It didn't surprise me much ( from the comments i've received) that people from tourist areas seemed less aware about what goes on in other parts of Mexico.  I'm happy to know that there are more tranquil places.  

I am however, PISSED that I received a comment from a couple of anonymous assholes berating and insulting me for the post that I wrote.  One was from the border area (in texas!) and another from a tourist spot but the gist from both was that I'm a liar and a horrible person for further tarnishing Mexicos image.

REALLY F****RS??  I'm pretty sure it's not ME to blame for Mexico's image right now.  This is MY daily lifeline Mexico.  I live on the border and it's worse here than southern Mexico but this is MY BLOG and MY EXPERIENCE.  Anybody who doesn't like the truth of what goes on here can PISS OFF.  

The Cartels RUN Mexico.  Every single facet to be found is touched by the cartels.  It's not just drugs, they run the government (well duh) on down to the smallest of organizations.  You want to open up a  little corner shop to sell Cokes and chips? You better get permission. Want to sell Elotes or Pan from a bicycle?  You better check in with the neighborhood "leader" and make sure it's ok.  The FLEA MARKETS that my husband works in are controlled by the invisible hand.

Of course if you live in a beautiful resort town you're not going to see this kind of thing - you're insulated thanks be.  Would you think they want their presence known where so much money can be made?  

I could go for page after page and not just because I'm mad.  It's LIFE here, not just the border, and if you don't know anything about it then consider yourself blessedly ignorant - but leave me the shit alone.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Mexican Drug Culture

My husband oh-by-the-way-ha-ha told me in the doctors office this morning that yesterday he and the neighbor boy went after a possible robber next door. The neighbor had a bat and my husband wielded - a stick.

I'm all for neighborhood watch and protecting each other but nobody LIVES next door to us and the robbings that have taken place over there as of late were the type where they're stripping the house of copper wire and other metal scrap. Forgive me but it's not worth my husband risking his life (and the neighbor boy is only 16!) and what if the guy had had a GUN!??

A STICK husband?? A STICK?? *sigh* God love 'im.

I asked him why they didn't just call the police and he looked at me like I was retarded. Lol, it was kind of a stupid question. I also asked him just what the hell they were going to DO upon confronting the robber and he replied "We were going to beat him."

Well that's nice. Apparently, under the right super testosterone fueled circumstances my wee sweet and adorable husband can morph into Mr. Violence. Who knew.

Anyways, moving on. He then told me (Wait no, wait just ONE minute, that little punk, he's damn lucky he told me about this in such a public place! I do wonder if he was smartly saving it for just an occasion out side of the house? OMG!) he said that they found the guy and were about to beat him up when they guy yelled "Wait no! No, it's just me, I work at the point!" And the weapons were stayed.

They guy was just a point worker from around the corner and had got word from someone on his walkie talkie that the soldiers were headed to his location.

Point? Point worker?

Here in Reynosa drug vending locations are called a "point." They are everywhere. In every neighborhood you'll find them, maybe in an abandoned house or in the back of a pick up truck that always seems to just BE there with a guy sitting in it. One place that had me baffled for months is just a pallet on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere where guys just always seemed to be hanging out at. LOL for the longest time I thought it was a makeshift bus stop.

I know I seem pretty non-plussed by this subject and the truth is I'm just so used to it, it's SO common place and normal here that there's just nothing to get excited about.

Point workers work 24 hour shifts and always have a walkie talkie tuned in to hear from whoever if the soldiers might be on their way to kick some ass. The soldiers drive around on raids and go to known points, beat the CRAAAPPP out of the workers, maybe set the place on fire and go on about their business. A few hours later and a new worker will be in the other's place and life goes on until the next raid.

A couple of weeks ago the soldiers came to raid our point and the workers friend had stopped by to chat with him for a bit. The friend that works in a factory, just your average joe, was beat so bad he spent quite a bit of time in the hospital. It's a weird feeling, feeling sorry for the friend of the drug seller but feeling happy that the soldiers are out trying to do something.

Back to the non-robber. When he told my husband and neighbor that he was hiding from the soldiers they understood and left him be. The truth about point workers ...............Eeeek, ok, the baby calls - to be continued tonight!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Dear self, in the future please refrain from buying .99 cent dish soap. Cuz damn.

Dear self, in the future don't even THINK about buying .99 cent Walmart special underpants. You didn't shop at Walmart for MONTHS and THAT is what you decided to buy on a necessity trip back? THE CROTCHES AREN'T EVEN IN TE RIGHT PLACE.

Dear Idiot, you bought your baby water-packed-never-frozen blueberries. Good for you and all that jazz but how about not feeding them to her before needing to go out in public. BLUEBERRIES STAIN. It's a smidge hard to smile away the glares after people notice the bruised looking (entire) face of your baby. Eesh.

So, Dear Self, how's about we lay off the shopping for a bit......maybe take a nap and give some flailing brain cells the chance to heal.

Really, it's either that or go out one day with a bruised looking baby, get CPS called on you, have them come to the house and see your scummy dishes, have them strip search you looking for drugs, see that even you UNDERPANTS are weird - and take you away to the funny farm.

Take. A. Nap.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Piñata Porn

On my way home from work a few weeks ago I sat at a red light and looked to the right to one of the bright
cheerful piñata shops. I was smiling at the gigantic Woody character riding his toy story horse, no less than 4 feet tall, when my eyes focused on a full sized man piñata hanging behind it.

At first all I could take in was the fact that he was wearing nothing but a red mâché speedo and red cowboy vest. He was huge, smiling and giant chested and I thought for a half second that he might be some sort of half Nekkid Mexican super hero. My half second of bewilderment was over when my brain finally focused in on his speedo area. Under the red speedo they had formed a GIGANTIC cock and balls.

Holy batballs batman.

HUGE you guys, HUGE. (no wonder they painted such a big smile on his face) Before I could process anything I noticed that behind him was hanging another full sized work of art, a woman. She was anatomically correct (for a porn star) and nekkid except for a real life - not mâché - black,h dirty girl teddy. It had cut out boobs and hooha areas so you wouldn't miss out on her expertly painted on lady parts. Whoever made this piñata was NOT a virgin.

The light turned red and my seconds in piñata porn land were over. I drove off trying my darndest to figure out what I'd just witnessed and trying to come to terms with the fact that they were hanging next to a Thomas The Train (wouldn't George Carlin have loved it?) and a giant birthday #1.

Naturally I loved the concept but it took me a while to get over the shock and realize that they could have been made for bachelor parties. (??). I guess? I can see drunk women beatinJg away at a goofy super hero and his ....silly oversized parts, but the woman was so realistic I have a hard time visualizing men bashing away at her.

Maybe it was made for a divorce party and she represented a mistress?? Or maybe it was a birthday gift? I'm not savvy enough on Mexican culture to know fo sho.

Lol, this is the first time I've felt naive in about 10 (okay 12) years.

Ever heard of such a thing?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

AH HAAA Moment


When I first heard from other teachers here in Mexico that schools are shut down when the temperature dies below 6 celsius, I thought it was just plain silly. Back home it could be -20 F. and nobody would bat an eyelash. Wear a coat dummy.

I forgot all about it till this first winter rolled around and teachers started getting excited. And then, yesterday happened. The temp dropped to 4 Celsius and when I showed up to my first class of the day - there were 4 kids! (public schools actually shut down but here in lame-0 private school the parents get a choice- lol, boooo)

My next class had all of ONE student but by that point I was no longer surprised. My ah ha moment came the first hour when I realized that although our classrooms have gigantic air conditioners, there are NO heating units. No central heat, not even a shabby space heater.

OHHHH well now I get it. DUH.

Houses don't have heat here in Mexico, not even the NICE houses I've been to, so I don't know how I would assume that a gigantic school would....but there you go.

Silly Gringa.

It's gal frigging cold and my idea that the parents were being pansy asses and coddling their kids flew right out the window. Pansy MY ass, shhhiiiiittt we freeze! Our school won't shut down though, the parents pay more than enough for us to be turned into a popsicle daycare if they wish it.