Tuesday, January 18, 2011

NOTES TO SELF

Dear self, in the future please refrain from buying .99 cent dish soap. Cuz damn.

Dear self, in the future don't even THINK about buying .99 cent Walmart special underpants. You didn't shop at Walmart for MONTHS and THAT is what you decided to buy on a necessity trip back? THE CROTCHES AREN'T EVEN IN TE RIGHT PLACE.

Dear Idiot, you bought your baby water-packed-never-frozen blueberries. Good for you and all that jazz but how about not feeding them to her before needing to go out in public. BLUEBERRIES STAIN. It's a smidge hard to smile away the glares after people notice the bruised looking (entire) face of your baby. Eesh.

So, Dear Self, how's about we lay off the shopping for a bit......maybe take a nap and give some flailing brain cells the chance to heal.

Really, it's either that or go out one day with a bruised looking baby, get CPS called on you, have them come to the house and see your scummy dishes, have them strip search you looking for drugs, see that even you UNDERPANTS are weird - and take you away to the funny farm.

Take. A. Nap.

8 comments:

Cheryl Arredondo said...

Oh God, just threw out my .99 cent Walmart panties because I couldn't take them anymore! But worse, since they were from Mexican Walmart, they were really like $4.

gringationcancun said...

HAHAHA the blueberries story is awesome. I would never have even thought of that. I would have been all "I'm such an awesome mom because I feed my baby fresh produce".

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Cheryl - lol right!? Even cheap clothes are more expensive here! We don't have a Walmat here in Reynosa, but on the Texas side. What part are you in?

Gringo - OHMYG!! That's EXACTLY what i was thinking!!! From now on I'll stick with the avocados! :D

Krissie said...

"Officer, I had to beat up my baby, she bought me the wrong kind of underpants!"

Liz said...

Thanks for a great laugh! Not that I want her to look beat up, and not that I want you to wear crummy undies, and not that I want you to use horrible dish soap. Oh never mind!! I can only imagine what it would have been like to try on those panties. . . :-)

Zoe said...

Yeah, that crotch thing...I bought a bathing suit here, and one labia hung down and out. Kind of an edgy look, but really not my style. jajaja

On Mexican Time said...

haha - i love you, and I will always wonder how you can make a GREAT post from "nada"!!

How about dem apples!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Krissie- talk about cramping my style ;)

Liz - when I got them home to do just that the first thing I thought was - "did I put them on backwards????" Goofed up panties!!!

Zoo - I'm pretty sure that will be one of my all time favorite comments - ever. Labia, edgy, just oh my goodness bwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahhahhahah!!!!!!!!

OMT - Well then a (((hug)))) for you! :)