Sunday, January 16, 2011

Piñata Porn

On my way home from work a few weeks ago I sat at a red light and looked to the right to one of the bright
cheerful piñata shops. I was smiling at the gigantic Woody character riding his toy story horse, no less than 4 feet tall, when my eyes focused on a full sized man piñata hanging behind it.

At first all I could take in was the fact that he was wearing nothing but a red mâché speedo and red cowboy vest. He was huge, smiling and giant chested and I thought for a half second that he might be some sort of half Nekkid Mexican super hero. My half second of bewilderment was over when my brain finally focused in on his speedo area. Under the red speedo they had formed a GIGANTIC cock and balls.

Holy batballs batman.

HUGE you guys, HUGE. (no wonder they painted such a big smile on his face) Before I could process anything I noticed that behind him was hanging another full sized work of art, a woman. She was anatomically correct (for a porn star) and nekkid except for a real life - not mâché - black,h dirty girl teddy. It had cut out boobs and hooha areas so you wouldn't miss out on her expertly painted on lady parts. Whoever made this piñata was NOT a virgin.

The light turned red and my seconds in piñata porn land were over. I drove off trying my darndest to figure out what I'd just witnessed and trying to come to terms with the fact that they were hanging next to a Thomas The Train (wouldn't George Carlin have loved it?) and a giant birthday #1.

Naturally I loved the concept but it took me a while to get over the shock and realize that they could have been made for bachelor parties. (??). I guess? I can see drunk women beatinJg away at a goofy super hero and his ....silly oversized parts, but the woman was so realistic I have a hard time visualizing men bashing away at her.

Maybe it was made for a divorce party and she represented a mistress?? Or maybe it was a birthday gift? I'm not savvy enough on Mexican culture to know fo sho.

Lol, this is the first time I've felt naive in about 10 (okay 12) years.

Ever heard of such a thing?

9 comments:

CoreyJo said...

Ha Ha!!! OMG, that's hilarious. I wish you had got a photo, Jason will never belive it. And to think that Americans complain about all the strip clubs & sex shops. At least we keep our porn hidden behind poster plastered windows in dilapitated buildings on the East side. I would have been laughing so hard I wouldn't have been able to drive!!!

ღღ
CoreyJo

gringationcancun said...

Oh my... definitely never seen those here! I'm gonna say bachelor party.

MaryLuna said...

Excuse me missy, but you can't just come back to us and not tell us where you have been, what you have been up to, how your pregnancy is going (or did you have the baby already?), what you are having, ect. ect. We missed you!!! Or at least I did, very much so. I was so happy to check this morning like I do at least 3 tiems a week and see that you actually posted.

Hopefully you will have some time for us your devoted fans and let us know how everything is going for you.

~Mar~

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Corey OMG!!! I was KICKING MYSELF IN THE FACE for not having a camera!!

Gringa - lol no??? Party right? Makes me feel like I missed out! :)

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Mary Luna - Yes Mam. :) I've been working my butt off at work and dealing with a DARN busy/insanely clingy baby who is crawling all over the house. I'm only six months along with her Brother ITS A BOY!!!!!! And otherwise we're doing fine:). Thank you for asking! :)

MaryLuna said...

Yay for a baby boy!!! Have you thought about any names yet? Turns out my 17 yr old sister is pregnant too. She is about 12 weeks. Once we got over the shock that she is pregnant at such a young age we are all actually kind of excited. She thinks she will name the baby Daisy if it is a girl and Alexander if it is a boy. The baby daddy is in the picture, which is good- but they fight ALL the time, which is bad. Have you seen Teen Mom? Think Amber and Gary.

Anyways, maybe your next post can be a Daisy post so we can see her sweet face and how much she is grown. I love Daisy posts!

Again, thanks for coming back and keep safe!! My family has been having prayer meetings every Sunday because my grandparents faced serious issues in their hometown. Long story short, they had to move about 2 hours away where no one knows them so that they can be safe. We want them to come here, but my grandpa is a stubborn, stubborn man. So all we can do for now is pray.

Don't stop posting please! You don't really have an excuse with your ipad and all! :)

~Mar~

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Heck yeah I could do a Daisy post Mary Luna! LOL babies are ALL I seem to have to talk about these days! ;)

Lib (in Virginia) said...

This is too funny, but I have to say when I was in Matamoros (Nov. 2009) Juan, Jorge and I were sightseeing while waiting on customs to open up. Came across a pinata shop and they had a female, but she had on a bikini top and bottom. I made Juan sit down where she is sitting on his neck. If I ever get around to posting pictures I will let you know when it is there. If I had of seen the male/female pinata you described, I might still be in Mexico, locked up in a crazy place from laughing so much.

Kelly said...

Freaking HILARIOUS!