Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Just A Few Things...and a Poosee

Babies are some gassy damn people. Just FYI.

Between the 1 month old and the 16 month old our house is a continuous symphony of baby butt musicians. I'm pretty sure I've not gone for more than 30 minutes at a stretch in the past month without being farted upon. Not that I care, baby farts are LOUD and drawn out but not smelly and I happen to love toilet humor so ... well what's not to love? When I was about 12 years old my best pal the neighbor boy and I spent an entire summer taping ourselves forcing out the biggest nastiest burps would could muster. (Remember how COOL it was when you figured out how to record yourself with your boombox??) We sat down, swalloed air, hit "record" and burped our way to an hour long tape of mouth-flatulance and giggles and then spent the next two years wearing the tape out listening to ourselves and peeing our pants. My Moms still got the tape, she's cool like that.

It was Day of the Teacher here in Mexico last week and I saw on a FB friends site that she had posted up a big apple and a big thank you note to all her teacher friends. It got me to thinking about the sweeter than sugar 1st grader I had in one of my classes this past year who was always bringing me apples. I wonder where that tradition started? I imagine it started in a time before Valium. That's what I'll be sending MY kids to school with to give their teachers. That and maybe the occaisional bottle of Vokda.

Anyhoo, thinking of him brings me to another kid, the "Poosee" kid. OMG. I was with a class of fourth graders and had just given them the assignment of writing and acting out their own play. One boy walked up to me about 20 minutes into it and asked, "Teacher, can we use the word Poosee?" I genuinely didn't understand him at first and asked him to repeat.

"Poosie teacher, can we use that word?"

"WHAT word?"
"Say it agian??"

I honest to goodness thought I understood what he was asking but wanted to make SURE so I asked him -

" does that word mean sweetie? Can you tell me?"

"Oh, well you know teacher, like... it's what you call your friends when they're being chicken and you're playing." "You call them a poosee."

"Ohhhhhh. no sweetie. Um....that's a bad word ok? It's one of those words that we never EVER say in school ok?"

"Oh.... so we can't use it in the play?"

Vodka and a case of Depends, cuz kids really are funny.


jeremy said...

snarky comments aside, you're kinda rad, hor.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

JEREMY!!!!!!!!!!!! You're a blast from the past fo sho ;D

Señora Glerum said...

Please, can I be your kids' teacher? Enseno espanol en Michigan - entre Ludington y Muskegon!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

LOL Senora ! And awwwwww those places are so close to "home" makes me smile :)

Josie said...

Uhhhh What do you MEAN baby farts aren't smelly?!

Maybe I need to feed my baby what you're feeding yours because GOOD LAWD!!!

Liz said...

Farting and farting jokes make me LOL! I've been told women aren't supposed to be that way. Oh well. PS - all the babies I've ever had fart on me WERE smelly! HA!

Anonymous said...

This whole post just made me laugh so hard. I can't wait to start teaching English. Pahahahaha.



Suki said...

Hahahahaha, brilliant! Hell, I hope French kids are around half as funny :D

Suz said...

Too Funny! I love your blog and find myself agreeing and laughing out loud!

Suz said...

I love your blog! As I read I find myself agreeing with you and laughing outloud!