I was super excited when we moved into our new house a couple months ago because my new neighbor speaks ENGLISH!!! EEEEE!!! I was PSYCHED!! I hemmed and hawed and shuffled my feet for WEEKS trying to figure out a way to go over to her house and start up a conversation (leading to everlasting friendship and happiness) and was thrilled when I came up with a way.
Insert - Babies! Hooray babies have a use after all!! She and I share babies of the same age so one day when she was outside with hers we wandered over so my baby could say hi *ahem* to her baby.
We of course started talking and I was thrilled to be speaking in English to a lady that seemed pretty nice! And she IS nice.....but there's a wee problem.
She's of the Mexican culture arena that is super DUPER over protective, MY-BABY-IS-THE-UNIVERSE.
I, am not.
If my baby wants to throw a 2yo tantrum and fling herself on the ground in the street and scream? Let her ass! If HER baby wants to do the same? Oh my God. First, it would be a catastrophe if her baby were to touch the ground. She'll swoop him up so fast and squeeze him to her bosom "OH, MI AMOR, YOU ALMOST TOUCHED THE GROUND!" DEAR LORD NOT THE GROUND!
Are there mini zombie brain eating monsters that I don't know about on the ground waiting to kill our babies? Did I miss something?
If my baby throws herself on the ground I let her stay there until she's done being an asshole and then just -NEWSFLASH- dust her off when she's done! There's no harm in a baby sitting on the ground for a minute but this lady goes into the freaking VAPORS if her kid even starts to kneel!
It's not just her though, I've seen mmaaaaannnyy Mexican Mommy's that are the same way. Maybe there's a superstition I don't know about or something???
Anyhoo. Also when her kid starts to throw a fit (and I mean a little bastard I-am-a-two-year-old-the-world-is-ending-fit) she'll cram him to her bosom, drop what she's doing and exlaim "OHHHH Mi VIIIIDDAAA Mi AMMMMMOOORRRRR What is it??? What is WRONG?? How can I make it all better mi precious peice of GOLD???" And all the while the kid is kicking and screaming - OR - going complacent because he knows he is soon to get his way.
Also, dogs. The neighbor lady saw our dog come up and lick Daisy in the face and saw me laugh and do nothing about it but shoo the dog away and about came UN-GLUED. "OH! That's disgusting! Dogs are nasty your POOOOORRR baby!!!" She then wouldn't let my baby go near her baby - fear of disease?? - then rushed back to her house for fear that we would ..... well I don't know. Chase her baby with a slobbery dog?
So. She thinks I'm a bad Mommy and I think she's a freak and now we can't be best friends for life and share our secrets and eat chocolate like I was hoping for. We talk once in a while but the baby taboo always comes up and I always go home feeling like a pod-person.
SO! Onward I go, a friend I will find some day!