Saturday, February 4, 2012

And then he said, and she said, and HE said....

It took me 11 months of living in Mexico to find a friend, a GOOD, REAL, GIRLFRIEND, that I could talk to in English and share lifes intimate things and titter-titter about husbands with. Shortly after that there seemed to be a slow trickle of new friends and aquaintances that come into my life and life here was suddenly much more hospitable. It's amazing how much different a persons outlook can change (even when circumstances don't) when they have a best friend to share it with.

We were super best friends till she had to move away around 8 months ago. I had my aquaintances from work and other people I'd met but nobody I could really hang out with, share things with you know? I thought my little world had just crashed down but didn't want to be too dramatic about it.

When I started working in a new school this past season I met not one but MANY new people that I could talk to and that felt like FRIENDS. There's suddenly people in my life again that I'm welcome to show up on their doorstep and that I look forward to inviting to mine.

Border life is tricky though, one friend is from far away and I know that he's not long for the Mexican life, maybe a couple years more at most and he'll go home. One new girlfriend that I'm WAY in non-gay-love with is heading back to her country in just four more months.

It's wonderful to have people that I connect with and yet sad to know that they too will be going while I'll be staying. But, I don't know, since I KNOW that they'll be going, maybe it makes these times that much more great. I know to appreciate them in advance and who gets that chance?

Other teachers at the school are Mexican but have dreams of going northward and I imagine although it'll take them a lot longer, they're dreams will be fufilled years down the road.

Maybe this is just the way it is when we're older? We get new jobs or spouses do and moves are made, but back home where I'd had my best friend since highschool and'd planned living my long life with her in it, I'd never imagined such a revelation.

It might be similar but just a hell of a lot faster paced here on the border.

There's some hope to be had though. Our used to be neighbors and care-takers of the baby's when we need them speak only Spanish but I'm always welcome to show up on their doorstep. We can hang out for hours barely making conversation with my broken (SHIIITTT if I could PLEASE learn to conjugate verbs!!!) Spanish just as happy as could be. We have a mutual love of my babies and can sit and talk about our kids and crazy Mexico like regular friends. Once in a while we can even communicate a joke about our husbands - always welcome. ;) It's just nice to be welcome somewhere.

Anyhoo, I don't know what much of a point I'm trying to make, just talking to other Mexico gals out there that might be like me, maybe you know what it's like or'd like to know that you're not the only one.

I'm happy in our life here and I'm thankful that the freinds that I have and that will come and even go. I don't know if it's age, experience or Mexico but there's a lot we can adjust to and still be just as happy, if we just let it be.


Zoe said...

One thing about the internet and most especially Facebook, is that it gives you a steady stream of "friends" of a different sort. You can rant and rave and get some good empathy albeit not on your doorstep or up close and personal, but at least someone to talk to and have them talk back. Many with similar experiences to yours, too. At least we are all there and we listen pretty damned well!

Stephanie G said...

One thing I have learnt by being in Monterrey for the past 11 months is this place is not like the small towns but, then again it is. Most people are very impersonal and will not talk to you and look at you like you are the neighborhood criminal if you try to start a conversation. Then again, the other people are stuck up and don't like outsiders which is what I seem to be here. They judge all Americans from what most of the men have came here after being in the US to say, that we are whores and want all married men so, I have yet to meet a friend here. I was told this by one of the ladies here who is a little bit. I will do a post on this one day soon.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Zoe, my blog has always been here, and by blog I mean the commenters :) XOXO! :)

Stephanie - Oooo yes you've got it DOWN!! You know when you're back home and you see a stranger in the store, and you say "Oh my GAWD, your shoes are KILLER!" and they're like "Oh my gawed right? And I got them on sale!" And then 10 minutes later it's like you've known each other forever and all of a sudden you've got a new best friend?? You know? Well here, yeaahh not so much. If you tell someone you like their purse they act like you're asking them to hand it over. I thought it would be better in Monterrey??? They have an expat meet-up group and a BUNCH of Americans there, but you still can't find anybody?? That's killer booooooo. Or, sometimes when we DO find Americans they're just not....friend material.
It always makes me think of a phrase my Mom used to say "Beggars can't be choose-y." But in this case, you just can't MAKE a person compatible.

~ellen~ said...

You know us internet girlfriends will always be here for you :)

Lisa n Javi said...

I am looking forward to one day making a friend here in our small town. I dont feel comfortable enough yet because I am not fluent in spanish and if even if I were, I am not sure how many I could trust. I think here in the blogging world is where I have had the most luck with friends and people I could confide in.

rubireyes said...

I ditto all of the other comments. I can't make a friend here to save my life but I have found comfort in the ones I've met on line this year. But having a real "girlfriend" that I can kick back with and bitch about my husband while knocking down some beers is something I will always miss.